The Philematology Solution
by chromeknickers
Summary: Sheldon asks Penny for a favour: to teach him the art of kissing.
1. Part I: Chapter 1

_Philematology (n.) - the art or science of kissing. _

* * *

Penny had been in the middle of undressing when she heard the customary knock to her apartment door: three knocks followed by her name, each act repeated thrice. On the first set of knocks she had managed to shuck off her skirt and panties, dropping them with the rest of her uniform that lay in a crumpled heap on her bedroom floor. On the second set of knocks she had run naked to her dresser and pulled out a pair of shorts and tank top. By the third set of knock she had already slipped the tank top over her head and was hopping towards the door, trying to snake her feet through the legs of the shorts.

"Almost there," she said aloud, mostly to herself, as she continued skipping forward.

In her frenzy to get dressed, though, Penny's toe got caught in the hem of the shorts and she went sprawling face-first onto the floor with a loud thud and oomph.

"Penny, are you all right?" came Sheldon's voice from the other side of the door. "Are you hurt?"

"Just my pride," Penny mumbled, pushing herself up onto her forearms. "Come on in, Sheldon. The door's open."

The lanky physicist had already opened the door by the time Penny scrambled to her feet, sans shorts _and_ panties. It was Sheldon who was first to notice Penny's lack of clothing—with great dramatics.

"Good Lord, woman!" He quickly turned away, averting his eyes with a large hand. "Shall I come back at a better time, when you are decent?"

"Decent?" Penny repeated, perplexed, and placed both hands on her hips.

It was then that she felt the bareness of her own flesh against her palms and glanced down at her lower torso in shock. Holy crap on a cracker! She was naked! Cursing, she dropped to the floor to gather her shorts and pulled them on with surprising speed.

"It's okay, Sheldon," she said breathlessly. "You can look now."

Sheldon lowered his hand and hazarded a glance; blinking once, he pursed his lips together and gave her a customary salutation, "Hello."

"Yeah, _hey_, Sheldon," Penny said with a sigh, snapping out the waistband of her shorts and smoothing them down her hips. "What's up, buttercup?"

Sheldon watched her fingers for a moment and wrinkled his brow before turning to close the door behind him. Walking over to the sofa, he hesitantly took a seat and tested out the cushion until he was comfortable.

"I would like to enlist your aid as a 'teacher'," he began, curling his index and middle fingers on both hands and lifting them in the air.

"How can I 'help' you, Sheldon?" Penny asked, mimicking Sheldon's air quotation marks, before taking the seat next to him. "'Cause Lord knows that I am only _one_ woman."

Sheldon snapped his head back in tandem and glared at Penny, not bothering to enquire what exactly she was talking about. He was quite certain he wouldn't be pleased to hear her answer.

"Yes, colourful exchanges asides," he began blandly, placing his hands on his lap, "I would still like an affirmative or a negative on the proposal for your assistance."

Penny leaned back, knowing full-well what an endeavour such as aiding Sheldon would entail and how badly it would most likely end—for her. However, she was very curious about the matter as Sheldon had never asked her to teach him something, especially something that she believed herself to be good at. Plus, in the past he had agreed to teach her the fundamentals of Physics when she had asked him to, so it was only fair to return the favour—as long as it was feasible. She wasn't going to rent out her uterus or supply him with a healthy ovum. She had to have her boundaries.

"Tell me your proposal," Penny said evenly, eyeing Sheldon somewhat warily, "and then I'll let you know if I'm willing to help or not."

Sheldon nodded briefly; a small, boyish smile touched his lips. "Very well," he agreed, seemingly impressed that she had added a condition that she be informed of the facts before blindly agreeing to supply him with a favour. "I should preface this proposal with some context then."

Penny let out a groan and sank back into the sofa. Prefaces from Sheldon, like his summaries, were not exactly known for their brevity or understandability (at least for Penny).

"You see," he began with a finger poised in the air, making as though he was about to give some tedious lecture. That was, of course, before he noticed the unimpressed look Penny was giving him—a murderous glare, really—and Sheldon decided to shift gears and try for a more laconic response. "Amy's mother invited me to dinner, as she believes that her daughter is a relationship with me."

Penny blinked nonplussed. "But aren't you?"

"Technically, yes," Sheldon answered, his left eyelid twitching uncontrollably. "She is my friend, and she is a girl ..."

"Right, right," Penny said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "So what do you need me for—to teach, that is?"

Sheldon fidgeted in his seat for a moment before nervously darting his tongue along his lower lip and glancing away.

"Amy suggested that we try kissing," he said, failing to meet Penny's gaze. "To show her mother that we, in fact, have affection for one another and are, as you often say, boyfriend and girlfriend." He glanced up, the tendons on his neck standing out. "Engaging in coitus, if you will."

Penny blanched before choking on her own phlegm, glad that she hadn't been drinking something or it would be all over Sheldon's face right now. After a good twenty seconds of coughing, Penny cleared her throat and opened her mouth to say something before going mute and pulling a face that suggested she was quite uncomfortable the idea of Sheldon having 'coitus' with Amy. The mental image, in fact, made her shudder uncontrollably and she started coughing again.

"Sorry," Sheldon said, correcting himself with a smile as he reached forward to pat Penny's back. "I meant _intercourse_."

Penny nodded and leaned forward as Sheldon continued patting her back while she coughed. After a moment, she righted herself and began dabbing at her watery eyes. Coitus or intercourse—it just didn't sound right coming from Sheldon's mouth.

"So, you two haven't kissed yet?" Penny asked, trying to regard Sheldon with earnest sincerity.

"No." He tilted his head to the side. "We did try holding hands once, though."

"Oh?" Penny sat up in her seat, her curiosity piqued. "How was that?"

Sheldon shrugged. "I was indifferent to the whole matter."

Penny snorted. "Of course you were." She rolled her tongue along the inside of her cheek and regarded Sheldon carefully. "So, you want to learn kissing, then—and you want _me_ to teach you?"

Sheldon nodded; his blue eyes were keen and serious. "Yes, I would like to learn from an expert."

"An _expert_?"

"You have had thirty-one sexual partners, have you not—or has the number gone up?"

Penny chewed on her lower lip and looked away, tautly grasping the arm of the sofa. Sometimes it took all her willpower not to punch Sheldon in the face.

"I assume that you have some working knowledge of kissing," Sheldon continued, "unless there was never any kissing involved—"

"Okay, Sheldon," Penny interrupted, turning to meet his innocent blue gaze with narrowed green eyes. "Okay." She then let out a sigh of defeat, allowing her features to relax. "I'll help you. I'll teach you how to—how to kiss."

Her words tasted like sand in her mouth, and she found it hard to believe that she was even agreeing to do this. But Sheldon had helped her out on more than one occasion—_much_ more than one—and she felt as though she owed him as a friend. It wouldn't hurt to help him—would it?

"Thank you, Penny."

He was giving her that small, boyish smile of his again, and she couldn't help but return it before rolling her eyes and letting out a laboured sigh.

"Lord knows I'm going to regret this," she mumbled to herself, before sitting upright and squaring her shoulders back to look directly into his eyes. "Sheldon—" she reached out to touch his shoulder "—have you ever kissed a girl before?"

Sheldon bent his head and examined his hands while giving a slight shake of his head, suddenly shy.

"My mom and my memaw," he answered, and then glanced up to meet Penny's gaze with a lick of his lips, "but I don't think they count."

Penny smiled and squeezed his shoulder. "No, sweetie—no they don't."

She dropped her hand and inched closer towards him, watching him recoil slightly and sit up even straighter in his seat—if that were even physically possible.

"Since this will be your first kiss and you want to kiss Amy in front of her mother—" she reached out to take Sheldon's hands "—we'll try something simple and chaste, okay?"

"Good," Sheldon said with a slight drawl, his eyes darting from side to side. "I really don't want to 'suck face', as they say." He licked his lips nervously again and swallowed hard, his fingers taut in her hands. "No offence."

Penny's smile widened. "None taken."

She felt like they had already made progress, as he hadn't removed his hands from hers. However, he was stiff as a starched shirt, and she really needed him to loosen up in order for her to teach him something that required a level of intimacy. Of course Penny just needed to teach Sheldon how to kiss without throwing up or sanitising his mouth directly after.

"Sheldon, you need to relax," she said in what she hoped was a calming voice.

Sheldon's hands were cool in hers, and soft. In fact Penny was struck by how soft and smooth they were—and long, like pianist's hands. After a moment his hands finally went slack in hers and the rest of his body followed suit. Eventually, he was fully relaxed—or at least as relaxed as Sheldon Cooper could ever be without being asleep or unconscious.

"Now shut your eyes," Penny ordered softly, bringing a hand up to his shoulder, causing him to flinch.

"Penny," Sheldon began in a strained voice, his eyes wide open, "I do not see how I will learn anything with my eyes closed."

The tips of her fingers rested on his neck, and she could feel the bulging of his tendons and the ripples of his skin as he swallowed. She felt his heartbeat too; it was rapid, like her own.

"It's more of an act you feel out rather than emulate," she informed, licking her own lips in nervousness.

Wait, why was she nervous?

"Like instinct?" Sheldon's blue eyes rested on her lips for a fraction of a second.

"Exactly." Penny could feel her cheeks flush with heat. "Just feel my lips against yours and react to them—" she offered him a sheepish grin "—and not by pulling away."

Her other hand reached up to touch his neck and he blenched, his face twitching in discomfort at her close proximity.

"Just relax and breathe," she encouraged, slowly travelling her hands up to his jaw to cup his cheeks. "Lean in and close your eyes, and do what I do."

"You said this isn't about emulating," Sheldon countered in a whisper, his blue eyes meeting hers.

"It isn't," Penny said, unconsciously tracing her thumb along his cheeks. "It's about reaction: you emulate the action of kissing, but in your own way." She tilted her head. "Do you get it?"

Sheldon shook his head. "No, but let's experiment—" his gaze travelled to her lips before he closed his eyes "—and then I can make a hypothesis."

Penny nodded and then closed her eyes as well, leaning forward and hoping that he was doing the same. She met his mouth and firmly pressed hers lips against his, feeling how soft and full they were. Parting her lips, she felt his part with hers. She then pulled his top lip between hers, letting it slide along her lower lip before she switched, taking his bottom lip into her mouth and nipping it gently. She did not slide her tongue inside, fearing his reaction. Sheldon, although he didn't initiate anything, didn't stiffen against her either like she had anticipated. Instead he had sort of melted into her; his lips were warm and inviting.

Penny opened her eyes for a second, just to look at his face. His eyes were closed—his long, black lashes tickling against the apples of her cheeks—and then they fluttered open, as if realising that the kiss had ended. Blue eyes met green, and they both drew back, lips parted and swollen.

It was a brief kiss to be sure, but it wasn't exactly chaste either. It wasn't what she had wanted to teach him, what she had expected to teach him. She had wanted to just press their lips together and push out, getting him used to the sensation, but her instincts had got the best of her.

Damn her instincts!

"Did I do it right?" Sheldon asked curiously, stirring Penny from her reverie.

"Uh yup," she said numbly, popping the P before she shook her head and blinked rapidly. Blushing, she lowered her hands from his face. "It was, uh, good for your first time, Sheldon."

Sheldon's face instantly lit up. "Thank you, Penny." He folded his hands together and smiled proudly, like the time he had discovered how to successfully employ sarcasm. "Do you want to try again?"

Penny's mouth dropped open in shock; she was trying to comprehend what exactly Sheldon was proposing. He wanted to kiss her—again? No, this wasn't going to bode well. He was her friend. She didn't want to give him the wrong impression.

"Sure," she said, leaning forward to capture his lips with hers again.

Dammit! Her body really needed to start listening to her brain.

**-x-**


	2. Part I: Chapter 2

Penny had spent the next two days avoiding Sheldon. Well, not avoiding exactly—okay, she was avoiding him—but she _did _actually have to work two late shifts so it wasn't like she went out of her way to make sure that she never bumped into him in the lobby or in the staircase. And maybe she did stay at work a bit longer than usual, having a few drinks with Bernadette, and she _might_ have timed it so that when she returned home Sheldon would have been asleep.

So what?

It was just that Penny didn't know how to deal with Sheldon after she had kissed him: _twice_. The second kiss hadn't been that long—five Mississippis at the most—okay, maybe _twelve_. But when they had finally broken apart, Sheldon had given her this peculiar look—the kind where his left eye twitched with that odd nervous tick of his. Then he had licked his lips and drew his hands away from her waist and rested them on his lap, fidgeting them in that annoying yet slightly cute, slightly endearing way of his.

He had looked like a lost little boy in that moment, and Penny had felt her stomach turn in what she assumed had to be guilt. What else could it have been? It had been all new to him and he was processing it. She was processing it too, right?

Penny had opened her mouth to ask him if he was okay, but he suddenly stood up, bowed his head, and told her that he had to go. And then he was gone, leaving her alone with her own thoughts, which were screaming at her rather nonsensically: what had just happened, why did she agree to teach him how to kiss, why had he asked to try again, and why was she sitting in her apartment thinking about these things and wondering why her lips felt so numb?

Damn him!

So that's how it had it had gone for two very awkward days, and Penny was no closer to her answers now than she had been two nights ago when Sheldon had left her apartment. And while she worked, trying to distract herself, even more questions popped into her head: why did she kiss Sheldon a second time, why did kissing him make the small of her stomach flutter like it was filled with a billion butterflies flapping their damn wings, why was she constantly thinking about kissing him—Dr Wackadoodle—all the time now? Why? Why? _Why_!

It was time for Penny to stop guessing. She wasn't going to stop obsessing over what had happened until she got some answers, and there was only one man she could get them from: Sheldon. There was no use in avoiding him any longer. She would have to have a talk to him once she got home from work. Her sanity depended on it.

**-x-**

Penny ran up the four flights of her apartment building in record time, taking two steps at a time until she was finally standing in front of apartment 4A. Catching her breath, she smoothed out her skirt and combed her fingers through her wavy blonde hair, untying and retying her ponytail so that it was secure. After calming her heartbeat down and telling herself that she was acting ridiculous, Penny reached out to grasp onto the doorknob. She didn't even bother to knock as she opened the door and confidently strode inside.

"Hey, guys," she greeted, smiling brightly as three sets of eyes focused on her.

Leonard, Howard, and Raj each glanced up from their takeout cartons and mumbled a quick salutation—minus Raj, of course, who just waved—with their mouths full of Thai food. Babylon 5 was playing loudly on the television.

"Hey, Penny," Leonard said with a smile, swallowing his Pad Thai. "We haven't seen you in a few days."

He reached for the remote and muted the television, causing Howard and Raj to collectively protest. Well, Howard protested with a mouthful of noodles; Raj just made a short whining noise and shrunk at the look Penny gave him. Then, without fail, he rose from his seat on the sofa and made his way down the hall, disappearing out of sight.

"Yeah, I got the late shift at work the past two nights," Penny explained, listening to the click of the bathroom door shut behind Raj and echo down the hall.

Walking over to the kitchen, Penny grabbed a chair and slid it over beside Leonard before taking a seat and crossing her legs. Leonard smiled at her and then unmuted the television but turned the volume down. He reached down to pick up an unopened takeout carton and offered it to Penny.

"No thanks. I had dinner at work." She brought a hand to her stomach for emphasis. "I'm full up."

A minute passed before the door to the bathroom opened, and Penny watched as Raj slunk out, avoiding eye contact with the blonde as he took his usual seat beside Howard. Picking up his food, he continued eating as though nothing had happened.

"So, how's work?" Leonard asked, making idle conversation as he shovelled noodles into his mouth.

"Never a dull moment," Penny muttered, glancing down the hallway and wondering exactly where Sheldon was. Was he in his room?

"Yes, I'm sure Penny still works at the Cheesecake Factory," Howard spat as Raj pulled his hand away from Howard's ear and smiled sheepishly at Penny. "Unless ..." Howard paused, his eyes lit with mischievousness as he pointed his chopsticks at Penny. "Has our cheesecake-scented goddess found employment elsewhere, perhaps at the local Gentleman's Club?"

"Yes, Howard," Penny replied dryly, clasping her fingers together. "I now slide up and down the poles at The Cocoon."

"Really?"

"No!"

Raj immediately leaned in close and whispered in Howard's ear, causing the engineer to snort and nod his head emphatically.

"I agree," Howard said with a slight smirk, glancing up at Penny. "She'd probably be less tetchy with the extra money in her g-string."

Penny angrily bit the inside of her cheek and crossed her arms over her chest in annoyance. She glared murderously at Howard until he dropped his gaze—as well as Raj, who looked as though he was about to take another trip to the bathroom.

"So," Penny began, turning her attention back to Leonard, "where's Sheldon?"

"He's out," Leonard answered absently, staring at the television while eating.

"He's out?" Penny repeated, knitting her brow in confusion. Since when did Sheldon go out anywhere on his own, especially on Thai night?

"Yes, we find it hard to believe too," Howard quipped, looking up wistfully at the ceiling and sighing dramatically. "How quickly they grow up."

Penny ignored Howard with a roll of her eyes and turned back to Leonard. "Where is he?" she asked as nonchalantly as possible.

"He's having dinner with Amy—" he swallowed "—at her mother's, I think."

Penny frowned. "Oh, that was tonight?"

She had almost forgot about Sheldon's original proposal: for her to teach him how to kiss in order to impress Amy—or Amy's mother. Whatever. But now Penny found herself incredibly irritated by this fact, and apparently she looked it because Leonard had stopped eating and was eyeing her with some concern.

"Yeah," he said slowly, titling his head to examine the blonde with unmasked curiosity. "Penny, did you need Sheldon for something?"

"No!" Penny answered a bit too hurriedly and a bit too forcefully. "I mean I, uh, wanted to work on a purse app with him."

Shrugging her shoulders indifferently, Penny inwardly cursed herself for her lack of control. She was supposed to be an actress for God's sake! She was supposed to be able to mask her emotions, school her expressions. You know—_act_! What the hell was wrong with her? She was behaving like some stupid schoolgirl jealous schoolgirl with a crush!

"I can help you with that." Leonard offered her a half-smile and set down his food.

"No, no, that's okay." Penny unfolded her arms so that she could wave them in front of her face. "I'm tired from work anyway."

She offered him what she hoped was a reassuring smile and uncrossed her legs, quickly rising to her feet.

"I think I'll just go back to the apartment and take a bath." She pointed at the door as she made her way towards it. "I'm gonna call it an early night."

"O-okay," Leonard said slowly, watching Penny anxiously leave the apartment with a frown. "See you tomorrow, then?"

"Yeah, sure." Penny offered him another forced smile and a quick wave. "Bye, guys!"

"Bye," Howard said, furrowing his brow, much like Leonard had, while Raj raised a hand and gave the blonde a timid wave.

"Bye, Penny," Leonard said thoughtfully, but the door was shut and Penny was already gone.

**-x-**

Penny actually did what she said she was going to do: she went back to her apartment and drew herself a bath, calling it an early night. She didn't know why, but the thought of Sheldon kissing Amy annoyed her greatly. It wasn't as though she was jealous. No. She just didn't like the idea of Sheldon lying like that, pretending to kiss Amy when he didn't feel anything for her. Well, that wasn't exactly true. He must have felt something—Amy was his girlfriend, after all. Or rather she was a girl who happened to be a friend. It really shouldn't have mattered to Penny if Sheldon was kissing Amy or not, but it did.

Why?

Before getting into the bathtub, Penny took a bottle of red wine and an empty glass from the cupboard and poured herself a drink. She then turned the tub faucet onto the hot setting and picked up a bottle of bubble-bath, squeezing it into the water. Setting her glass on the floor next to the tub, along with the bottle of wine, she began to undress, discarding her clothes on the floor. As half the tub began to fill with scalding hot water, she turned the tap in the opposite direction, to cold.

Penny set the radio to Easy Listening and tested a toe inside the water, finding it hot but slowly cooling to warm. She then slipped into the bubble-filled tub; after a minute or two of cursing at the heat and adjusting the temperature, she sank into the water and rested her head against the back wall. Reaching down beside her, she picked up her glass of wine and began to sip languidly, singing off-key to the songs that played on the radio. Half a bottle of wine later, Penny fell asleep inside the tub, lightly snoring with her head having drooped down to rest on her arm.

She wasn't sure what woke her up first: the freezing cold water she was immersed in, the voice of Celine Dion crooning in her ear, or the persistent yet soft knocks at her apartment door followed by a hushed 'Penny'. Rising out of the tub and shivering uncontrollably, she managed to side-step the almost empty bottle of wine and tiptoed her way across the tiled floor. Grabbing her robe off the hook on the back of the door, she quickly slipped it on while her entire body violently trembled.

Three more knocks and another whispered Penny and Penny knew exactly who was at her door. Cinching the belt securely around her waist, the blonde walked into her room and looked in the mirror. Grimacing, she smoothed back her hair, which was in a messy ponytail, and rubbed her face to stir the sleep out of it. Three more insistent knocks rapped on the door, and she rolled her eyes, sprinting into the living room.

"I'm coming," she hissed, glancing up at the clock in the kitchen before opening the door.

Once opened, Sheldon burst into her apartment, sending Penny reeling backwards and off to the side, almost falling onto the floor.

"Sheldon!"

She was about to yell at him some more when he turned around to face her and put a finger to her lips, silencing her with his penetrating gaze. Lowering his finger, Sheldon nervously glanced around the room and walked back over to the door, staring out into the hallway at his own apartment before closing Penny's door with a quiet click.

"Sheldon, it's after midnight," Penny whispered, pointing at the clock before folding her arms underneath her breasts.

The lanky physicist was dressed in his pyjamas and his hair was sticking up in every which direction. He looked frazzled and agitated, nervously pacing in front of her door. When he didn't answer her, she dropped her arms and the stern expression on her face. Something was obviously wrong.

"Sheldon, sweetie?" Penny took a cautious step towards him and put a hand on his arm, which instantly put an end to his pacing. "Are you okay?"

He glanced at her hand on his arm and then looked up, their eyes meeting. Wild, blue irises drilled into hers, and Penny quickly lowered her hand and swallowed hard, taking a step back.

"We need to try again," Sheldon said in a voice several octaves lower than normal.

Penny blinked, nonplussed. "Try what?"

"Kissing," he clarified, licking his lips nervously. "I need to test a hypothesis."

Penny's mouth fell open. "Huh?"

"I have a theory," he explained in earnest, taking a step forward with his hands awkwardly searching for her shoulders, "and I need to test it by kissing you again."

"Sheldon," she began almost warningly, but her resolve melted the moment his long fingers curled on top of her shoulders.

"Yes or no?" He looked deeply into her eyes. "The hero always asks for permission."

"I, uh," Penny fumbled breathlessly, losing herself in his intense blue eyes. "Well, okay, but—"

Sheldon bent down so quickly that Penny wasn't sure what was happening until she felt his lips press firmly against hers. His hands fluttered up to her cheeks, cupping them as he drew her lips apart with his, hesitantly exploring the cavern of her mouth with his tongue.

This was Sheldon! Sheldon Cooper had just initiated a kiss with her—with tongue! In what universe did something like this happen? Was he drunk?

After a minute—or ten—Sheldon slowly drew away, leaving Penny breathless.

"Shh-Sheldon?"

Looking up into his bright blue eyes, Penny could see the wheels and cogs spinning in Sheldon's mind. Large, soft palms were still cupping her cheeks and his back was still bent so that his face was close to hers. She could hear him breathing rapidly, his pupils dilated, darting from side to side.

"Shel—"

This time Penny knew another kiss was coming, but she didn't expect to be knocked back by the sheer force of it. Nor did she expect to feel such intensity coming from someone like Sheldon Cooper, who had only three days ago just learnt how to kiss!

His lips were insistent, pressing into and moving against hers as she tried to match his hunger—or whatever it was. His long fingers had somehow curled into her hair, and her hands managed to reach up to clutch onto the back of his neck, pulling him down closer to her lips. It was a dizzying experience, as though he was sucking all the air out of her lungs. Light-headed, Penny stumbled back as he released her—both gasping for air.

"This can't be," Sheldon said after a minute, straightening his back as he examined the dishevelled blonde in front of him with bewildered eyes.

Penny licked her lips and tried to focus on what Sheldon was saying, but as she drew her tongue along her lips, all she could think about was how numb they felt and how she was having great difficulty slowing her heart rate down.

"Sheldon," she began, rubbing her numb lips with her fingers as she tried to clear her head, "what is going on?"

He licked his lips nervously, fidgeting, as he drew himself up to his full height, which was quite formidable.

"I miscalculated," he mumbled distractedly, taking a step back and swallowing hard. "I ..." He paused, bringing a hand to his forehead in frustration. "There is an unforeseen variable. I did not expect it."

"Variable?" Penny placed a hand to her hip, looking completely baffled. "Sheldon, tell me what's going on, right now!"

"I-I have to go," he stuttered, suddenly turning around and scrambling towards the door.

"Sheldon!"

In an instant he was out the door and across the hall, opening and closing the door to his own apartment—locking it behind him.

"Sheldon!" Penny yelled at the door to apartment 4A.

What kind of fresh hell was this? What had just happened? She was going to _kill_ that wackadoodle! Coming into her apartment and kissing her _twice_—again! Getting her all hot and bothered and then leaving without so much as a reason why or even a goodbye? A tease was what he was—a goddamn tease!

Yes sir! Dr Sheldon Lee Cooper was a frigging tease. She was going to have to get him back for this—and find out what the hell he meant by calling her a variable!

**-x-**


	3. Part I: Chapter 3

Penny glanced at the clock. It was almost a quarter after six on a Tuesday night, and Sheldon was not seated at his usual table. She furrowed her brow in worry, wondering where he could be. He was never late on cheeseburger night at the Cheesecake Factory; it was six o'clock sharp—never fail. Checking the clock one more time, Penny watched as the large hand clicked into place, pointing at the three with a sense of finality.

"Miss, could we order now?" a customer asked politely; however, he had snapped his fingers to get her attention, which irked her greatly. (She seriously needed to look for another job while pursuing her acting career.)

After taking the order, Penny headed for the kitchen when she saw a familiar trio, sans Sheldon, enter the restaurant. Each took a seat at one of the tables in her section, and Penny immediately turned back and made a beeline for them, avoiding the raised hands and snapping fingers.

"Where's Sheldon?" she asked as she approached the table, placing a hand on her hip.

"Uhm," Leonard hummed, looking up from his menu with a knitted brow, "he's still at the university." He fiddled the menu between his fingers before giving Penny a small frown. "I'm doing fine today. Thanks for asking."

Penny ignored his plea for attention and lifted her arms, folding them beneath her breasts. "Why is he at the university?" Her voice was flat but persistent. "I mean ..." She paused, realising that she might have come off sounding rather demanding. "Sheldon never misses his Tuesday burger at the Cheesecake Factory."

Leonard shrugged indifferently. "He said he had to work on something."

"Like what?" She had to bite the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from ranting about Sheldon in front of Leonard.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

"I dunno. I wasn't really paying attention." Leonard offered her a half-smile. "I tend to tune out his pedantic droning."

Raj and Howard snickered over the top of their menus and Leonard joined them with a snort of laughter.

"Oh," Penny said distractedly, before turning on her heel to head back towards the kitchen.

"Penny, wait!"

Penny stopped suddenly in her tracks and spun around, directing a curious gaze at Leonard. He was giving her a look that seemed to corner the market on confused and concerned.

"Yes, Leonard?"

Did he know? She prayed to Baby Jesus that he didn't.

"Uh, can we order?"

Penny closed her eyes and let out a sigh of relief before nodding. "Yeah, sure. Sorry about that." She took out a pad and a pencil. "The usual?"

**-x-**

Penny finished her shift early on Wednesday, knowing that Sheldon would have to be home for Halo Night. He never missed it. She rushed back to her apartment, shedding her uniform the moment she locked the door behind her. Walking into the bathroom, she turned on the water and took a long, hot shower. After a proper grooming ritual, she turned off the water and stepped out of the tub, wrapping a large towel around her torso.

Turning the radio on full-blast, Penny danced around while blow-drying her hair. Normally she couldn't be bothered about her appearance in front of the guys. They had seen her at her worst moments, and it wasn't like she was trying to pick any of them up. It was a relief, really, because she could just be herself with them—a slob.

But for some reason Penny wanted to look good tonight. She put on her cutest red tank top, which showed off her cleavage, and pair of blue short shorts that showed off her legs. Okay, so she wasn't dressing up, but she did want to look good without really trying. Next, she focused on her hair, setting long blonde sections into hot curlers. While she waited, she painted her nails and applied a strategic amount of make-up, which made her look natural yet smoking hot. Once she took her hair out of the curlers, burning her fingers in the process, she applied hairspray and then some light perfume.

Glancing at her reflection in the mirror, she smiled—she totally rocked the beach bum look. Penny then slipped on a pair of red and white flip-flops and made her way over to Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. Once she closed her own door and made it halfway across the hall, she could hear arguing from within. One of the voices was definitely Sheldon's.

He was home. Perfect!

Quietly creeping the rest of the way across the hall, Penny put her hand on the doorknob and slowly turned. When she stuck her head inside to sneak a peek, she could see Sheldon towering over Leonard, looking … furious?

"Leonard, why must you allow Penny to keep her dreadful magazines here?" Sheldon was waving a Cosmo magazine at his roommate like a man shaking a rolled-up newspaper at a puppy that had just piddled on the floor. "This isn't her second apartment!"

Frowning, Penny opened the door all the way. Leonard was the first to notice her, and he turned to greet her with a half-smile, twiddling his fingers together.

"Hey, Penny."

"Penny?" Sheldon whipped his head around and trained two wide and slightly frenzied eyes on the blonde.

"Hey, Leonard," Penny greeted before glancing up almost shyly at the taller man. "Sheldon."

The lanky physicist let out a strangled noise that sounded something like a grunt and shoved the magazine into Leonard's hands before abruptly turning on his heel and charging towards his room. The sound of a door slamming shut made them both jump, and Leonard stared down the hallway for a moment before turning to regard Penny with a deep frown.

"Did you do something to piss him off?" he asked, clutching the magazine in his hand.

"Not that I know of." Penny furrowed her brow in confusion. "Maybe it's my magazines." She pointed at the Cosmo in Leonard's hands and he shook his head, setting the magazine on the coffee table.

"Actually, this is Raj's," Leonard said glibly as he straightened his back and brought a hand to the back of his neck to rub nervously.

"Oh," Penny commented, smiling.

It was the first genuine smile she had given in days. Then, just as quickly as the grin had risen to her lips, it had fallen. She soon remembered what had just transpired moments ago: Sheldon storming into his room and ignoring her—again. Letting out a defeated sigh, she walked over to the sofa and flopped down on it, putting her weary feet up on the coffee table.

"Penny," Leonard began tentatively, testing the blonde's emotional waters, "are you sure there isn't something going on between you and Sheldon?"

"What?" Penny recoiled. "No!" When she saw the look of utter befuddlement cross Leonard's features, she quickly sat up and cleared her throat. "Nothing's going on between me and Sheldon. He's just a crazy wackadoodle."

Penny crossed her eyes and brought a finger close to her temple, barrel-rolling it in circles, pantomiming Sheldon's craziness. Leonard, however, remained unconvinced, walking over to the sofa and taking the seat next to her.

"It's just that you've been avoiding the apartment for the last few days, and now Sheldon's telling me to remove everything in here that reminds him of you."

Penny's face fell. "He is?"

She felt somewhat crushed by this revelation. Did Sheldon hate her now?

"You didn't touch his toothbrush, did you?"

"No."

"Well, I don't know what to say." Leonard shrugged indifferently. "I haven't seen Sheldon this upset since Raj gave him one of those make-your-own teddy bears." He looked far away in remembrance. "He was both livid _and_ terrified."

Penny was about to open her mouth and ask why the hell Sheldon was afraid of teddy bears when the man in question came out of his bedroom and started walking down the hall towards them.

"Sheldon?" Leonard knitted his brow in wonder as he watched Sheldon stalk past them with his coat on. "Sheldon, _where_ are you going?"

"To the university," Sheldon replied tersely, picking up his satchel and looping his left arm through the strap.

"The _university_?" Leonard repeated in a whiny voice, exasperated with the sporadic behaviour of his best friend. "But we just got home from work." He looked at Penny for a moment before turning his attention back to Sheldon, who was now adjusting the straps on his satchel with a deep frown set on his face. "How are you going to get there?"

"Bus." Sheldon grabbed his keys out of the bowl, not bothering to spare either Leonard or Penny a glance before he opened the door and stepped outside.

"Sheldon—"

The door slammed shut, and Penny let out a laboured sigh, glancing down at her feet before putting them back up on the table. Leonard turned in his seat, looking at Penny for an explanation, but Penny didn't have one. If she did, she wouldn't have been sitting there alone with Leonard.

The handle to the door opened, and Penny felt a rush of optimism spread throughout her heart. Was he coming back? Was he going to confront her and tell Leonard to leave so that the two of them could discuss this matter in an adult fashion? She lowered her feet to the ground and placed her hands on her knees, taking in a nervous breath and smiling hopefully. But it was all for naught.

"Hey, Leonard," Howard said, opening the door and popping his head inside. "Where's Sheldon going?"

"The university?" Leonard answered with an upward inflection, as though unsure.

Howard's brow creased in wonderment as he puzzled out the idea of Sheldon going back to work alone. Obviously not all too concerned about the matter, he shrugged his shoulders and entered the apartment with Raj following closely behind.

"Sheldon's gone? But it's Halo Ni—" Raj's selective mutism kicked in the moment he saw Penny sitting beside Leonard, and he slapped both hands over his mouth in haste.

"It's okay, Raj," Penny said somewhat sadly, as she rose to her feet. "I'm going to go." With Sheldon off avoiding her, she might as well return to her own apartment to mope there.

"But we need a fourth for Halo," Howard countered, offering Penny what she assumed he thought was a charming smile. "You know, in case Sheldon isn't back in time."

She glanced over her shoulder at Leonard, who had his hands clasped together pleadingly, regarding her with puppy-dog eyes. Hanging her head in defeat, Penny let out a protracted sigh and nodded.

"Okay," she relented, slapping her hands on her hips, "just order me some food and I'll be right back." She then made her way toward the door, causing Raj to jump out of her path.

"Where are you going?" Leonard asked distractedly, reaching for the phone to place an order.

"I'm just going to uh ..." Penny paused, holding onto the open door. She couldn't say that she was going to drown her sorrows in a glass or two of wine before rejoining them to play Halo—could she? "I'm going to take a quick shower."

At the mention of shower, Howard turned and waggled his eyebrows at her. "M'lady, would you like some assis—"

"Finish that sentence and I will _hurt_ you," Penny warned behind gritted teeth, pointing a long finger at the short engineer and glaring at him until he looked away.

"So," Howard said, clasping his hands together and turning towards Leonard, "since Sheldon's not going to be here I say we order sushi."

Rolling her eyes, Penny closed the door to apartment 4A and made her way to her own apartment.

"Ooh, my Cosmo!" Raj could be heard crooning from across the hall. "I wondered where I had left that. There is a really good article in here on how to pleasure yourself."

"You mean on how women pleasure themselves?"

"Yes."

"Gimme that! I could use some pointers for Bernadette."

"Get your own Cosmo!"

Penny opened the door to her apartment and grinned. Maybe beating the nerds tonight at Halo would make her feel better—and think less about Sheldon and his blatant avoidance issues. Maybe.

**-x-**

Later that night Penny had teamed up with Raj, which was a first. The two really didn't need to communicate as Penny had a knack for killing all in her path, and Raj was exceptionally good at covering her back. Although he was nowhere near as good as Sheldon was when she teamed with him, which was almost never. Leonard was still very possessive, even when it came to Halo teammates.

When the game was over and Sheldon had still not yet returned home, Penny went back to her own apartment and began to wonder exactly why she and Sheldon had worked so well together. Gaming, scheming, singing, making Penny Blossoms—they had a real rapport—and they took care of each other when the other was sick. So what was his problem now?

Sure, a lot of the time they couldn't stand one another—at least at the beginning of their friendship. Sheldon was controlling, demanding, anal-retentive, compulsive, dictatorial, and downright arrogant. None of that had really changed, but Penny had come to discover his positive attributes too. He could be grateful, selfless, childlike, helpful, and extremely loyal. When push came to shove, Sheldon was always there for her: to offer her advice, money, aid, and companionship. He was a loyal friend—steadfast and unwavering—and it was this distance between them that hurt Penny the most. Sheldon had taken away his companionship and blocked her from his life, and these simple acts, if only for a two day period, were hurting Penny more than she wanted to admit. In fact, they were killing her inside.

Is this how he felt when she ignored him?

Several hours and several glasses of wine later, Penny decided to throw caution to the wind and grab the spare key to Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. Sheldon's wishes to avoid her be damned! He could ignore her during the day and even during the evening all he liked but _not _while he was asleep. No, that would be _her_ time.

Throwing on a pair of mukluks, Penny shut the door to her own apartment and slunk over to apartment 4A and turned the key in the lock ever so gently. She quietly opened the door and stepped inside, closing the door behind her as softly as possible. She could feel goosebumps pimple their way up her naked calves and settle on her thighs. Although it was temperate in the apartment, for some reason Penny felt cold in her tank top and shorts. That feeling, however, immediately changed the moment she stood in front of Sheldon's bedroom—then she felt unbearably hot.

Penny held her breath and reached out to put her hand on the doorknob. If there was any time to turn back, it was now. But Penny was tenacious; she never gave up. Her current profession and residence in California was a testament to that fact. So, with a resolute nod, Penny exhaled sharply and opened the door to Sheldon's room, taking a hesitant step inside.

Sheldon was lying motionlessly on his back with his eyes shut tight; he was sleeping soundly. Penny tiptoed further into the room, closing the door behind her, but not so that it would shut completely. A soft stream of moonlight filtered in from the window beside his bed, illuminating his face with a pale glow.

"Sheldon," she whispered.

Undisturbed, Sheldon continued sleeping. Penny then took a step closer to his bed, her knees touching the mattress. She bent down; her face was only inches away from his.

"Sheldon."

"Can I have another cookie, Memaw?"

Sheldon stirred awake, smacking his lips as Penny stood up straight and snickered into her hands. God bless the wackadoodle.

"I don't have any cookies on me," she laughed, and Sheldon instantly shot up in bed.

"It's okay, sweetie," she said in a soothing voice, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder once before dropping her hand. "It's me, Penny."

Relaxing momentarily, Sheldon blinked at Penny before rubbing at his eyes with the edge of his palm.

"Penny, what are you doing here?" Then, as though registering the peculiarity of the situation, Sheldon sat up as straight as a board, his eyelids fluttering wide open. "Penny, no one's allowed in my room!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Sheldon," she retorted, uninterested, and took a seat on the edge of his bed, which caused Sheldon to shuffle backwards. "We have to talk about why you've been avoiding me—and why I had to wait until you fell asleep before I could sneak into your apartment to blitzkrieg you."

"Blitzkrieg?" He looked at her askance before his eyes grew wider, and he pulled his sheets up to his chest, trying to squirm away from her in an upright position. "Penny—"

"I'm not here to scare you, sweetie—" she rested a hand on his arm "—I just want to know what's going on with you and me—us."

Sheldon looked down at her hand with a sense of terror, but he did not move away or ask her to remove her hand.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Penny," he said, licking his lips nervously while avoiding her gaze.

"Don't know what I'm talking about? Don't know what I'm—" Penny cut herself off and took a deep breath, scooting in even closer. "Sheldon, you have an e-eid—you never forget anything and you know _everything_, so don't give me this 'I don't know what you're talking about Penny' bullshit!"

Sheldon swallowed hard under her intense gaze. His eyes had a caged look to them, and she was sure that he was going to bolt at any moment. He didn't move, though; instead he clutched at his bedsheets like they were his lifeline.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked after a moment's pause, licking his lower lip and finally meeting her eyes.

"The truth." Penny leaned forward and lowered her hand from his arm to place it on his knee atop the covers. "Why have you been avoiding me? Why have you been freaking out on me?"

Nostrils flared, Sheldon looked as though he was about to snap at her. "I haven't been _freaking_ out," he clarified with his Texan drawl. "I've just been too busy with my work to indulge in your trivial small talk, Penny."

Penny narrowed her eyes. "You _kissed _me, Sheldon—_twice_! Four times, actually, but you initiated the last two."

Why was Sheldon acting so deliberately obtuse? She wanted to grab him by the scruff of his collar and shake some sense into him. Why did he have to be so damn difficult all the time?

"And then you started mumbling about variables and stormed out of my apartment," she added. "You've been avoiding me ever since." She let out a laboured sigh. "Sheldon, _what_ is going on?"

He lowered his head, refusing to meet her gaze, and Penny could only frown. She just knew that he was going to retreat into that beautiful mind of his, but she wasn't going to let him. No, she'd had enough.

"Sheldon, look at me!" Penny demanded, reaching up to grab him by the collar, yanking him towards her.

"Penny—"

She didn't think; she just reacted. Crushing her lips against his, Penny stole whatever response Sheldon had right out of his mouth. He froze at first, and she could feel him stiffen at her touch, at the pressure of her lips against his. She titled her head and tried to deepen the kiss, but he was reluctant, still sitting rigid as her lips plied his. Disappointed, Penny began to pull away when Sheldon's hands shot out from underneath his sheets and grabbed her by the arms, pulling her back down.

Melting into his hold, Penny closed her eyes and felt Sheldon relax, returning her kiss. His lips parted, allowing her tongue entrance, and she brought her hands up to his strong jaw, running her thumbs along his cheeks. It was then that he tightened his grip on her arms almost painfully and pulled her in even closer, almost onto his lap, causing Penny to cry out in both shock and arousal.

Knock. Knock.

"Sheldon, I heard a noise," Leonard announced sleepily, pushing open Sheldon's door. "Are you talking in your sleep a—"

Penny and Sheldon turned to face Leonard, their cheeks resting against each other's. They looked guilty, caught in the act, and Penny was the first to draw away.

"I-I, uh," she stuttered, instantly jumping off Sheldon and his bed. "I gotta go!"

Bolting out of the room, Penny awkwardly squeezed past a startled and flabbergasted Leonard, who had remained stationary in the doorway. As she made it down the hall and into the living room, Penny could hear Leonard's shrill voice carry:

"Sheldon! You wanna catch me up!"

**-x-**

Penny ran into her apartment and locked the door behind her. Collapsing onto the floor, she began to bang her head against the door repeatedly.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Why did she run? Why did she feel like the time her daddy caught her on the bed making out with Timothy Hudson, the tenth grade love of her life?

Rising to her feet with a groan, Penny slunk off to her bedroom. If Leonard was going to come calling tonight to find out what had happened, at least she would have two sets of doors to filter out his persistent knocks, and his whining. As for Sheldon, she didn't need to worry about him coming over. She had properly scared him off for life; she doubted that he ever wanted to see her again.

Penny closed her bedroom door shut and flopped down face-first onto her bed, feeling utterly embarrassed. She turned her head and glanced at the time on her alarm on the nightstand. Beside the clock was her phone, which was flashing a dull red light. Sitting up, Penny reached for the phone and turned it on. She had a voice message from Amy Farrah Fowler. Blinking slowly, she fumbled to punch in her code so that she could listen to the message:

_Penny, since you are my bestie I thought it appropriate to give you the customary call informing you that I have broken off my romantic relationship with Sheldon. Actually, he broke it off with me a few hours ago. I would have called sooner, but I had a break-through with my paper on the anatomical localisation of monoamines in relation to intracellular signalling cascades. Exciting stuff, as you can tell—_

_Well, I had better get back to my paper. Please do not_ _call me tonight: it's late and it is socially frowned upon to disturb someone in the middle of the night. I will call you tomorrow, and we can talk about our future singles' night._

_Bye, bestie!_

Penny clicked off her phone and set it down on the table, her mouth hanging ajar in shock. Sheldon had broken up with Amy? What the frak?

**-x-**


	4. Part I: Chapter 4

It was Thursday night, and Penny had decided to take Amy out on a ladies' night at the bar, as per request of the brainy brunette. Although it was to be a singles' night, Bernadette was invited to join in the festivities and it was turning out to be an enjoyable evening. Yes, three girls sitting at a table in a half-empty bar, eating cheese nachos and drinking fruity mixed drinks, was just plain wacky fun.

"It's just as well," Amy said, taking a sip from her tepid water. "He was becoming too emotionally invested in the relationship."

Choking on her tequila, Penny set down her glass and brought a napkin to her lips before coughing uncontrollably.

"Sheldon?" Penny managed to ask between coughs. "Emotionally invested?"

Amy nodded slowly, eyeing Penny warily as she wiped the tequila spittle from her top. "He insisted on kissing twice, even after my mother left." She placed the napkin on the table and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "The relationship was moving too quickly."

"Oh." Penny could feel a pang of emotion stir in her chest—an emotion she couldn't quite quantify, qualify, or label.

"Howard won't kiss me in front of his mother," Bernadette said softly, playing with the little umbrella that sat in her drink. "He gets stage fright."

Penny coughed again, looking oddly at Bernadette, and then took another sip of her drink.

"I will admit that Sheldon is a good kisser," Amy announced randomly with a determined nod. "His lips are sufficiently soft."

"And full," Penny added quietly, her mouth on the rim of her glass.

"Pardon me?"

Penny blenched and then glanced up at Amy, who was staring at her rather inquisitively. Clearing her throat uncomfortably, Penny wrapped her fingers tightly around the base of the glass and feigned a smile for the brunette.

"N-nothing," she stuttered, bringing the drink to her lips and downing it in one large gulp. "Another tequila sunrise, please!"

Penny signalled for the waitress, who nodded, going back over to the bar to order. Waiting for her drink, Penny fiddled with the empty glass in her hand and licked at her lips nervously, wishing that the night would quickly end.

"I'm sure you can relate," Amy said, stirring Penny from her reverie.

"Hmm? W-wha—huh? I mean, excuse me?"

Amy frowned thoughtfully. "Leonard was too emotionally invested in your relationship while you were not, correct?"

"Oh, yes. _Leonard._" Penny sighed of relief and then signalled for the waitress to hurry up with her drink. "Yes, things were going a little too quickly for my tastes."

The waitress returned with Penny's drink, which she quickly downed half of and then suggested that the server, quote, 'keep 'em comin', end quote.

"So, uhm," Penny began hesitantly, taking another swig before levelling her gaze at Amy, "are you and Sheldon going to remain friends?"

Amy nodded, taking a sip from her drink. "We have decided that we enjoy each other's intellectual company but are going to take a short break away from each other—" she set down her glass "—to cool things down, as it were."

"Right," Penny hummed, looking sidelong at Bernadette for support.

The petite blonde, however, merely smiled vacantly and nursed her mixed drink.

"What will your relationship with Sheldon be now?" Amy asked, causing Penny's neck to snap back in tandem.

"W-wha—huh?"

"Since you and I are best friends," Amy clarified, reaching for a cheese nacho, "will that leave you scorning and hating on my ex?"

"Uh ..." Penny paused, searching her mind for a reasonable answer. "Sheldon and I were friends first," she explained tentatively, reaching out to put a hand on Amy's, "and he remained friends with me when I broke up with Leonard."

"That is understandable," Amy agreed, awkwardly patting Penny's hand. "I did not expect you to subscribe to sisters before bro-hoes."

"Bro-hoes?"

"I just made that up right now," Amy said, smiling proudly. "It is a reversal of the colloquial phrase 'bros before hoes'."

"Yeah, I got that," Penny said blandly, raising her eyebrows before she brought her drink to her lips.

"What about sisters before misters?" Bernadette suggested, and Penny and Amy turned to ogle the perky blonde.

"That's a good one too," Amy conceded, nodding emphatically.

Bernadette smiled brightly, tilting her head. "Thank you."

The waitress walked back over to their table, setting down the new drinks. Penny quickly drained one of the glasses in one large gulp before she set it down and pushed it away, grabbing the next untouched beverage.

"It is good that Sheldon has you," Amy said, munching on another nacho chip, "for support."

"Yeah," Penny said dryly, feeling the alcohol warm her blood and spread across her chest. "Lucky Sheldon."

**-x-**

The next day was less eventful, except for the pounding headache that wouldn't go away. Luckily, Penny had decided to sleep through most of the day until the hangover went away, which ended up being sometime in the late afternoon. When she finally did get up, Penny considered going over to the boys' apartment, but she knew Sheldon wouldn't be there: he had been ignoring her all week. What was she to do? Surely by sneaking into his bedroom and kissing him she had broken him in some way—and now he was scared of her. Perhaps in a week or two he'd feel comfortable enough to start talking to her again—hopefully.

So instead of dwelling on the 'perhaps' and the 'what-ifs', Penny decided to stop wallowing in self-pity and carry on with her evening. She rose from bed, ate a very late lunch (dinner?), and drew herself a hot bubble bath, as well as poured herself a large glass of wine. An hour or two later she woke up in a tub of freezing cold water. Drying herself off, she put on her robe and began to set her hair in curlers. Then she retried her phone and began calling her girlfriends, setting up a much-needed dance night.

After finishing her hair, make-up, and putting on a smoking hot outfit with equally smoking hot shoes, Penny grabbed her keys and her clutch purse, heading for the door. As she stepped out of the apartment and put the key in the lock, she heard the familiar sound of the door to apartment 4A opening. Turning around, she saw Leonard standing nervously in the hallway.

"Hey, Penny," he said, rubbing the back of his neck, "can I talk with you?"

"Sure," she replied in the most chipper voice she could muster. "What's up?"

"Listen, I'm not going to ask you about what happened Wednesday night," he said, lowering his hand and looking oddly green at his own statement. "I'm still trying to bleach that image out of my mind."

Penny pursed her lips together and looked away, brushing a few strands of wavy blonde hair out of her face.

"What I want to ask you about is if you know what Sheldon has been doing at the university." Leonard glanced up, hopeful, fidgeting with the zipper on his jacket.

Penny shook her head, nonplussed. "How would I know? You're the one who works with him, not me."

"Yeah, of course," Leonard agreed amicably. "I was just curious if you knew what he was doing." When Penny only met him with blank stare, he began to anxiously rub the back of his neck. "He's been conducting research experiments on philematology."

Penny blinked. "File-ma-what?" she repeated, her mouth hanging open in puzzlement before she snapped it shut and scrunched her nose in an unpleasant manner. "Is that like a study of paedophiles?"

Leonard snorted and then wiped the amused expression off his face when Penny directed her patented death glare his way.

"Uh, no. It's the scientific study of kissing."

"There's a scientific study on that now?" Penny furrowed her brow and placed a hand on her hip. "Jeez, you geeks need to get out more."

Leonard faked a laugh and brought his fingers together, looking quite embarrassed. Muttering to himself, he then turned around and opened the door to his apartment to step back inside. It was at that moment when the implications of Leonard's words began to sink into Penny's head, causing her to frown. Sheldon had spent all this week kissing girls? The nerve of that gangly-limbed praying mantis! Penny was positively livid. No, she was more than that, she was—she was ... jealous?

"Wait!" Penny called out, stopping Leonard in his tracks. "Sheldon is going around the school _kissing _girls—_people_, I mean, kissing people?"

"Yeah," Leonard said with an upward inflection, a small grin lingering on his lips, "for _science_."

"Sheldon?" Penny repeated, utterly flabbergasted. "Dr Sheldon Lee Cooper, _PhD_, who liberally applies sanitizer after shaking someone's hand?"

"I know." Leonard leaned against the doorframe. "I was shocked too, until I found you two kissing in his bedroom."

Penny glanced down on her shoes, nervously balling her hands into fists. "About that—"

"I don't want to know," Leonard stated emphatically, waving his hands in front of his face. "But I do want to know if you have any idea why Sheldon's been acting so strange lately—stranger than usual, that is." He twisted his mouth in an inquisitive manner. "Like why is he obsessed with kissing?"

Penny shook her head, swallowing hard. "I-I don't know."

"Right," Leonard hummed, unconvinced, striking his knuckles together as he watched Penny peek past him to look into the apartment. "If you're looking for Sheldon, he's at the university again."

Penny brought a hand to her eyebrow and scratched it distractedly. "Right, whatever," she said as nonchalantly as possible. "If Dr Wackadoodle wants to be a wackadoodle, then I say let him."

She let out a fake laugh, and Leonard nodded his head, stepping back inside the apartment.

"Right," he repeated, watching at her from behind the door. "If you want to get that answer for me, you could always confront Sheldon tomorrow night: he never misses laundry night, no matter who he's hiding from."

Penny watched the door close and a sense of giddiness washed over her. She would get the truth out of Sheldon tomorrow night—whether he liked it or not.

**-x-**

When Saturday night rolled around, Penny was running up the stairs to her apartment—two steps at a time. She had been forced to pick up a late shift at the Cheesecake Factory until nine, and she knew she that didn't have much time until Sheldon was finished his laundry (he always started at a quarter after eight). Catching her breath as she opened the apartment door, Penny glanced at her watch and saw that it was now twenty after nine.

Did she have enough time for a shower?

She did the maths in her head: twenty-five minutes for the wash cycle and forty minutes for the drier. That was an hour and five minutes, which put Sheldon's folding time at nine-twenty.

Crap!

Closing the door shut with the key still in the lock, Penny flew back down the stairs to the laundry room. When she finally made it there, she placed both hands on the doorframe for support. She must have looked deranged with her hair a mess and wheezing for air (she really needed to start jogging again). Sheldon seemed to note this for he did a double-take, recoiling softly with a befuddled expression on his face. He lifted his socks to his chest, as though they could protect him from the crazy hair lady that was Penny.

"Penny?"

"Sheldon," Penny began almost hysterically, taking a shaky step forward as she extended an accusing finger at him, "_what_ is wrong with you?"

Sheldon clutched at his socks with a look of mild panic flitting across his face. "What do you mean?"

"You're right," Penny said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "I should clarify since there are _so_ many things wrong with you." She threw her hands in the air. "Where do I begin?"

Sheldon lowered his socks onto the FlipFold; his eyes narrowed on the blonde. "Penny, I do not have time for this right now—"

"You will _make_ time, Sheldon," Penny demanded, walking over and snatching the socks from the board. "You've been ignoring me for a week since—since we kissed that second time."

Frowning, Sheldon watched Penny handle his socks with a sense of trepidation. "So? You have kissed Leonard many times then went back to ignoring him."

"Moonpie—" Penny put a hand on her hip "—I am _not_ Leonard."

Nostrils flaring, Sheldon pursed his lips in annoyance. "No one calls me Moonpie but Memaw!"

Softening her features, Penny dropped Sheldon's socks and walked over to him, placing her hand on his arm, feeling his biceps tense under her fingertips.

"Sheldon, I am not Leonard; _you_ are not Leonard." She petted his arm, feeling the muscles twitch. "What we have is different."

"What we have?" he asked, genuinely perplexed.

Penny dropped her hand and brought it behind her ear, scratching nervously. "Okay, I'm not sure what we have either, but just because we don't know doesn't mean we should avoid one another."

"I am not avoiding," Sheldon said priggishly, picking up his Superman t-shirt and placing it on the FlipFold. "I am just busy with work."

"Right, your work," Penny said with an amused smile, lowering her hand so that she could drum her fingers on the counter top.

With Sheldon's head bent, focused on the task beneath him, Penny was able to look at his profile completely, watching the tendons on his neck tense and then relax, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed. Her eyes travelled up his neck to his jawline, narrow and defined, following the sculpted form of his cheekbones all the way down to his lips, the bottom one full and kissable.

Shaking her head, Penny brought her hands to her eyes. She really had to stop checking out Sheldon in times like these.

"So," Penny began, her voice pitched with nervousness, "I went out with Amy last night."

She cursed herself internally at how stupid she sounded, like a shy, teenage girl talking with her crush. This was Sheldon Cooper from Texas for God's sake, and she was Penny from Nebraska—a big ol' five. She shouldn't be nervous around him while checking him out. Wait! Hold on. Was she really checking Sheldon out? _Really_ checking him out? Maybe. But just his face. Yes, just his face ...

Her eyes then began to travel downward, but she stopped herself, shutting her eyes tight. Crap on a cracker! What was wrong with her? When Penny finally opened her eyes, she was relieved to find that Sheldon wasn't even looking at her. He was still folding his laundry, shrugging indifferently: a sign that he was uninterested in what she had to say and was tuning her out.

"Amy told me that you broke up with her," she blurted.

Stopping mid-fold, Sheldon glanced up at Penny, his blue eyes focussed on her so deeply that she unintentionally blushed under his gaze.

"Is she upset?" he asked, his high brow furrowed in curiosity and possible concern.

Penny shrugged, moving in closer. "No, not especially." She idly picked up another set of Sheldon's socks. "She said something about you being an emotionally charged man and then complained about how she'd have to find another man to convince her mother that she's dating."

Sheldon nodded, obviously not concerned, and went back to his folding. "Yes, I am an emotional man," he agreed, and then surreptitiously snatched the socks from Penny's hand. "I do not blame her for not being upset about the break up."

"Sheldon!"

He stopped folding and glanced up at Penny, nonplussed. "What?"

"You broke up with Amy," she said, exasperated, "for the _second_ time!" Penny raised her arms and crossed them underneath her breasts, directing a long, hard gaze at the lanky physicist standing in front of her. "What is going on with you?"

His brow creased. "Nothing, Penny."

"Don't tell me nothing!" she spat, tapping her foot impatiently. "Why have you been avoiding me—and don't tell me it was because of work—and why did you break up with Amy?"

Pausing for a moment, Sheldon picked up his folded laundry and began stacking it in the basket.

"Sheldon—"

"Because I didn't feel anything!" he snapped, his accent coming through. He was gripping the handles of the basket so tightly that his knuckles had turned while.

"Feel anything?" Penny asked, her voice softening. "F-for me?"

Sheldon's face flushed red, and he shook his head, picking up his basket and making his way for the door. Penny quickly ran back and blocked the exit, fixing her most determined look on him.

"Sheldon, are you saying that you don't feel anything for me?"

Frustrated, Sheldon shook his head again and tried to barrel past the blonde, but she wouldn't budge.

"Sheldon," Penny threatened, green eyes flashing with fury, "if you don't answer my question right now, I will go junior rodeo on your ass!"

"Amy!" Sheldon spat, digging the basket into his hip. "When I kissed Amy after dinner at her mother's I didn't feel anything!" He sulked. "Are you satisfied now? May I pass?"

Penny felt her heart flutter in her chest, and she reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. His body did not relax; instead, he grew even more rigid and stiff under her touch.

"Honey, you said it was just for show." She let her fingers travel up to his neck, feeling the soft warmth of his flesh. "If you don't mean the kiss and you don't feel some sort of attraction for the girl then you won't—you know—feel anything."

Sheldon's shoulders sagged forward and he bent his head, allowing her fingertips to brush along his jaw.

"But I felt something with you."

"W-what?"

Penny drew her fingers back in shock, and Sheldon flinched at the loss of contact. She brought her fingers to her lips instead, gazing intently into his deep blue eyes. Lord how she could find herself lost in them. Had Sheldon just admitted that he felt something for her when he kissed her?

"The first time I kissed you," he began, licking his lips nervously, "I felt something." He shifted the basket on his hip and took a calculated step back, avoiding her gaze. "I thought it was a fluke, but after I kissed Amy and felt nothing, I had to test my hypothesis."

Penny lowered her hand from her face and reached out with her left to grab onto Sheldon's wrist. "When you came to my apartment last week and kissed me—" her voice was barely above a whisper "—that was _after_ you kissed Amy?"

Sheldon swallowed hard and looked down at her hand on his wrist. "Yes, and I thought I'd feel nothing when I kissed you again, but—but I did."

"Sweetie?" She took a step closer.

"The results, however, were inconclusive," Sheldon said quickly, running his tongue along his upper lip. "I assumed that it was Amy—that the fundamentals of philematology were lost on her—so I sought a solution, which could only be obtained through experimentation." His eyes had that caged look to them, and he refused to look at her. "My only other test subjects besides you were colleagues and students at the university."

Penny's eyes blinked wide, and she titled her head to the side. "So you kissed random people at work?"

"Yes," he said, making a face as though something vile was lingering on his palate. "It was a disagreeable experience."

Penny bit her lip, trying not to grin. "Boys too?"

Sheldon wrinkled his nose and shifted on his feet. "Only one seemed inclined to try," he said, moving his fingers along the plastic weave of the basket. "He was very ... _exuberant_."

Biting the inside of her cheek hard this time, Penny suppressed a giggle. "Didn't like it, then?"

Sheldon shook his head violently, his right eye twitching. "Not at all."

Penny licked her lips and took a step forward, sliding her hand up his wrist to grasp onto his exposed forearm. "And the other girls—did you feel anything with them?" She didn't know if she wanted to hear the answer to that.

"Nothing," Sheldon said, his voice quiet. He looked down at her hand and then finally into her eyes, causing her to smile.

"Good," Penny said with a nod of her head, satisfied. The thought of Sheldon kissing other girls—even for science—made her blood boil. She was glad he felt nothing with any of them, except her. It made her feel proud for some reason.

"Good?" Sheldon repeated, shaking Penny from her thoughts. "This has been a beyond frustrating experience for me." He held out his free hand, causing Penny to drop hers to her side. "The breach of oral hygiene, having to touch and interact with people!" Flustered, he brought his fingers to the rim of the basket and tapped it, shuddering softly with his head bent. "It was horrible."

Penny let out a short laugh and grabbed his biceps, leaning forward and standing on her toes to plant a chaste kiss on his cheek. "Poor sweetie."

Sheldon drew back and pushed her away. "Don't patronise me."

"I'm not," Penny said seriously, lowering onto her heels. "It must have been terrible kissing people to prove a theory." She took another step forward and brought her hand up to his sleeve, smoothing it before tugging him forward a bit. "And what was that theory, by the way?"

"Don't play coy with me, woman," Sheldon accused; however, he did not step back. Instead, his blue eyes met hers levelly, and Penny was almost positive that she could detect the ghost of a smirk on his lips.

"Huh?"

"I tried twice with you and felt something each time," he clarified, shifting the weight of the basket in his other arm. "I did not want to believe that it was because of you—"

"Thanks," Penny interrupted dryly, sliding her fingers up inside his sleeve and relishing at the feel of him shivering beneath her touch.

"So I distanced myself from you and tried to look at it from every angle," Sheldon continued, licking his lips as he began to shift from foot to foot. "And then you broke into my apartment on Wednesday and sneaked into my room and—"

"_And_?" she pressed, stepping forward so that her hips were touching his. Her nose was precariously close to his chest, and she could smell the fresh scent that was Sheldon: soap, fabric softener, and man.

"You are the variable," he whispered, his face naturally inclining to meet hers.

"Variable?"

"I had come to you to get you to teach me how to kiss for show and I ended up—" he swallowed nervously "—enjoying it. I had thought I would come to enjoy it with anyone, but it was only with you." He hesitantly reached out, capturing a stray blonde lock in his long fingers and tucked it behind her ear. "_You_ are the variable, Penny."

Penny blinked hazy green eyes. "I don't understand."

The corners of Sheldon's lips twitched upwards—definitely a smirk. "Variables form the most basic and important concepts of science."

When she met his answer with the most clueless look imaginable, he rolled his eyes and elaborated, giving her the simplest explanation he could.

"The relationship between the variable kissing and the variable Penny shows a positive correlation resulting in both pleasure and attraction."

"Sheldon, are you trying to say that you ..." She paused, searching for the right words. "That you are attracted to me?"

"That's ridiculous, Penny," he scoffed. "You _are_ an attractive woman."

She shook her head, frustrated, but couldn't help but blush at his inadvertent compliment. "No, I mean—do you _feel _something for me when you kiss me?"

Sheldon paused, looking uncomfortable, and Penny could sense the nervous face ticks coming on.

"Well, there seemed to have been decreased activity with the muted neurons in my left lateral orbitofrontal cortex," he explained, chancing a look at her vacant expression, "which governs self-control over my most basic desires—"

"In _English_, Sheldon," Penny pleaded, bringing her hand up to cup his cheek, causing him to flinch.

"Penny—" he shook his head in her hand "—I _am_ speaking in English."

Penny smiled, running her thumb along his cheek. "Then dumb it down for me, Dr Beautiful Mind."

Smiling at her term of endearment for him, and with his ego satisfactorily stroked, Sheldon nodded. "Very well then," he said, bringing his free hand up hers, touching her warm fingers with his. "Kissing you triggered a neurological and hormonal response—"

"Sheldon!"

Flustered, Sheldon dropped his hand and took a step back, clutching the laundry basket in both hands now. He looked hurt and embarrassed.

"Really, Penny, I don't know how to dumb it down any more than that."

Softening her features, Penny clasped her hands together and smiled. She would ask him a simple question that would require a simple answer.

"Sheldon, do you like kissing me—yes or no?"

Looking slightly panicked, he gave a furtive, shy nod. ."

Penny bit her lip and smiled, beaming triumphantly. Sheldon, on the other hand, rocked on the balls of his feet and shifted the laundry basket to his other hip, making to go past the blonde.

"Penny, my laundry is done and this discussion is over," he said with finality, darting his tongue along is lower lip. "I am going to put away my clothes and go to bed now."

Penny frowned for a moment and then nodded. However, she didn't let him pass. Instead, she grabbed the basket from his hands and set it down on the counter before turning back to face him.

"Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

She reached up to cup his face with her hands, standing on her toes as she pressed her chest against his. Her lips met his hesitantly. They were soft and smooth and full, and Penny couldn't resist taking the chaste kiss further, taking his lower lip into her mouth. What she hadn't expected, however, were his arms reaching out to wrap securely around her waist, holding her close as he returned her kiss. He tilted his head and bent forward, deepening the kiss.

After a moment, Penny drew away; her head was feeling light like it was full of air. She lowered back onto the heels of her feet and smiled up at him, resting her chin on his chest as she gazed up into his glazed-over eyes—his beautiful blue eyes.

"Bed time can wait just a few more minutes, okay?" Penny reasoned; her voice muffled against the cotton of his shirt.

Sheldon furrowed his brow in confusion. "Penny, _bed time_ cannot wait, only _I _can wait to go to—" The full weight of her words finally hit him. "Oh." His eye lit up as his lips spread into a boyish grin. "Okay."

Sheldon then laughed that short, breathless laugh of his, and Penny laughed too. Smiling, she brought her palms back up to his face and stood up on her toes to kiss his grinning lips. He looked so cute when he smiled, like a little boy let in on a marvellous secret. And it was a secret—one that only Sheldon and Penny shared—for now. Soon they'd have to let everyone else in on it, but for now it was theirs alone to have. Now, they were content to just hold one another and kiss like lovers in the threshold of the laundry room.

For now, life was good.

**End of Part One**

**-x-**

* * *

**Author notes: **I had originally planned on ending this story here; however, I was strong-armed—I mean cajoled into turning this into a much longer "relationship" fic. I will begin posting once I'm done writing the second part, but that might not be for a while since I've just recently broken my fingers on my left hand. Typing is quite the arduous task at the moment. :o(


	5. Part II: Chapter 5

Penny had taken Sheldon up to her apartment—laundry basket and all. He protested the entire way, telling her that he needed to put away his clothes and get ready for bed, but she just pushed him onto the sofa and straddled him, pressing her lips to his. After an agonising moment of sheer awkwardness and stiffness on his part, he finally relaxed.

Bringing his hands to her waist, he held her close, moulding her into him. She moaned into his mouth and deepened the kiss, feeling him return it with equal fervour—his hands sliding up to her shoulder blades and grasping tightly, almost painfully. Beneath his layered shirts were sinewy muscles aching to hold her down and control her movements—topping from the bottom. Even though he was inexperienced in these matters, Sheldon did not like to give up control: he was the alpha male, after all.

But Sheldon was unlike any man Penny had ever been with. He was inexperienced, but he didn't exactly show it. Neither nervous nor afraid, he would meet her head on. Sure, he never initiated (well, almost never), and he certainly was not like the men she read about in romance novels: picking her up and throwing her down on beds. Penny, however, did not want or need that. She was a big ol' five: she could initiate romance or lust or whatever this was all on her own, thank you very much. Sheldon, though, for whatever experience he lacked, was sure of himself—surer than any man Penny had ever known. He had a sort of confidence that, although cocky and narcissistic, was sexy and ... well, almost endearing. She wasn't quite sure how to explain it. Sheldon just took control in his own way, and Penny found that not only exhilarating but liberating, because his actions complimented hers, freeing her from whatever thought that might have asked 'what next?'

Gasping for air, Penny felt Sheldon's hands reach down to her cup her ass and press her torso against his, assuaging his desire with her body. She closed her eyes and crushed her mouth back down onto his as she felt his hardness press against her stomach. Moaning, she slid her body along his length, making him shudder beneath her; his fingers bruised her hips. She smirked into his mouth, relishing the thought that she could make Sheldon react this way—and that he was so ... endowed (by the feel of him digging into her stomach anyway).

His arms circled her waist, and he pushed himself into an upright position, bringing her up with him. She was shocked at first, her eyes widening to meet his. Sheldon was flushed, licking his lips nervously, as he held Penny on his lap.

"It might be best to conclude now," he said somewhat huskily, easily lifting Penny off his lap. "I need to put my clothes away and get ready for bed."

In a daze, Penny watched as he stood up, hunched over, trying to mask his obvious erection. She couldn't help but grin. Really, that's what he got for not wearing jeans.

"Sheldon, sit down," she ordered softly, and he glanced back at her sceptically.

Penny patted the sofa encouragingly, and Sheldon begrudgingly obliged, picking up a couple of folded t-shirts from the basket and awkwardly hobbling back to the sofa. Placing the clothes on his lap, to hide the tell-tale bulge, he glanced down at his feet and blinked slowly.

"Sweetie, I would never make you do anything you weren't ready for," she assured him, resting a hand on his arm. "If we're going too fast, just tell me, and we'll slow down. You don't have to leave."

"Alrighty," he said with a drawl, fingering the folded clothes on his lap while avoiding eye contact. His Adam's apple bobbed nervously in his throat, and he almost stubbornly lifted his chin in the air. "I assumed that you wanted to engage in coitus."

Penny could tell that not only was Sheldon nervous about having sex with her, he was entirely confounded by his bodily reactions when they kissed. Of course, he could explain them in the most technical way possible, but he couldn't explain away his feelings—what he felt while making out with her. The thought alone might break him, and that was the last thing Penny wanted to do.

"Honey," she began softly, scooting closer so that she could rest her head on his shoulder, "we won't do anything that you aren't ready for—okay?" She glanced up, seeing his expression soften, and he smiled down at her.

"Thank you, Penny."

Smiling in return, Penny tilted her head up to kiss his chin, causing him to blush and briefly look away. Then Sheldon turned to look back at her, slowing bending down so that he could chastely kiss her lips. She closed her eyes and melted. If she could have seen the expression on her own face, Penny would have labelled it as hopelessly infatuated. But the spell was broken the moment Sheldon opened his mouth.

"Penny, what is this?"

The blonde opened her eyes and knitted her brow in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Sheldon licked his lips. "What are you and I now?" he clarified, watching her pull back from him. "I do believe that we have gone beyond the realm of mere friendship."

Penny sat up, smoothing back her hair. "Really?"

Sheldon frowned, looking exasperated. "I tend not to kiss my friends, Penny." He shifted in his seat to face her. "I know that you continue to kiss Leonard from time to time and you call him your friend—"

"You and I are _not_ like me and Leonard," Penny said forcefully, wanting to make this fact clear.

"Because we have not engaged in coitus?" Sheldon asked innocently, leaning forward in anticipation of her answer.

"Well, yes, that's part of the reason," Penny said, feeling rather uncomfortable, "but I am _not_ dating Leonard anymore."

Sheldon pursed his lips in contemplation. "Correct me if my reasoning is fallacious, but are you suggesting that you and I are dating?"

"I ..." Penny paused, her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. "I dunno what we are, Sheldon, but I definitely know that we are friends who—who happen to kiss."

"How is this different from your relationship with Leonard?"

"It just is, Sheldon!" Penny raised her hands, calming herself down. "It just is."

Sheldon didn't seem all too convinced, but he didn't press her—for once. In actuality, Sheldon rarely pushed his neuroses onto Penny. For one, she had her limits; secondly, she would kill him—and Sheldon was admittedly somewhat intimidated by the blonde corn-husker from Nebraska.

"Are we friends with benefits, then?" he asked in all seriousness, and Penny almost choked on her own phlegm.

"No! I mean, there is an emotional investment—on both sides," Penny clarified, and then glanced up at Sheldon through her lashes. "At least I hope there is."

There was silence for less than a minute, but it felt like forever to Penny. She watched as Sheldon's left eye began to twitch, and he fidgeted nervously with his clothes, which were still lying folded on his lap.

"Penny," he began, head bent, "I can honestly tell you that I enjoy kissing you."

He glanced up and his blue eyes met hers sincerely. She felt like wrapping her arms around him and kissing him then and there. Instead, she composed herself and nodded solemnly, smiling.

"I enjoy kissing you too, Sheldon."

He brought his long fingers together and smiled that boyish smile of his—almost coquettishly—and Penny couldn't help but giggle.

"However," Sheldon added, almost as a stipulation, as he rocked in his seat, "I would not be comfortable being your friend with benefits."

Penny's eyes widened. "Okay," she said slowly, wiping her sweaty palms on her thighs. "Uhm, why?"

Sheldon sat up, giving her a curious glare. "It would suggest that I would not be the only man you would be kissing, and I do not like the idea of you kissing other men, Penny—especially Leonard."

Penny let out a breathless laugh, and Sheldon's brow knitted in confusion.

"I promise," she said sincerely, placing her hand on his knee, "that I won't kiss Leonard anymore."

Sheldon tilted his chin upwards and nodded. "Good." He glanced down at her hand. "So, where does that leave us, as boyfriend and girlfriend? We would have to tell Leonard."

Penny removed her hand as though she had scalded it. She quickly stood up and began pacing in front of the sofa. She had not expected Sheldon to say that. Obviously, she and Sheldon were more than just friends, but they weren't exactly boyfriend and girlfriend either. They were something, though, and she wasn't ready to figure out what that was—yet. She certainly wasn't prepared to face Leonard.

"How about we don't tell Leonard right away," Penny offered, nervously rubbing her hands together.

Sheldon raised his brow. "You want me to lie?" he asked incredulously. "Penny, you know that I cannot lie or keep secrets."

"No, no." Penny waved her hands in front of her face and then sat back down beside Sheldon. "It's just that we don't know what _this—_" she waved her hands back and forth between them "—is yet. Right?"

Sheldon looked down at his lap, thinking on the matter, and shrugged. "I suppose you are right, but I don't want to lie to Leonard."

"No lying," Penny said, smiling, happy that he was willing to agree. "Let's just take things slow. We can hang out together—alone—and kiss and stuff."

When Sheldon gave her an unsure glance, Penny leaned in and cupped his cheeks with both hands, tenderly kissing his lips. As she drew away, she opened her eyes, seeing his still closed, and smiled.

"We can game and watch movies," she clarified, watching his eyes open and his features relax. "And then, after a while, we will know where to go from there."

He swallowed, looking unsure, but he didn't open his mouth to protest or to question her either. Instead, he just looked at her, trusting her. And that look of trust made Penny's heart swell. Maybe there was more to this relationship than kissing. Maybe there was some hope for them after all.

Leaning in, Penny gave Sheldon one last chaste kiss to the lips and then nestled her head underneath his chin, resting her cheek against his chest.

"Okay, Sheldon?" she murmured into his shirt.

There was a pregnant pause, and Penny almost drew back until she felt his hand reach up to awkwardly but sweetly stroke her hair.

"Okay, Penny."

Melting into him, she closed her eyes and breathed in. Sometimes—_sometimes_—Sheldon knew exactly what to do to make Penny feel content.

**-x-**

The next Sunday the gang went kite-fighting, and Penny decided to tag along. Normally, she would have had something better to do, like watch football, do her nails, wash her hair ... sleep. But Penny had decided that if she was going to figure out what exactly was going to go on between her and Sheldon, she would actually have to spend some time with him—couple-ish time. Of course, the guys would be there so it wouldn't be like they were on a date. Penny wasn't sure whether either of them was ready for that. Point of fact, she wasn't sure _what_ they were ready for, just that they liked to hang out together doing laundry, playing Age of Conan, and kissing—the kind of kissing that made her knees weak. The lip-numbing, light-headed, forget her name type kisses.

Who knew Sheldon could do this to her?

The problem, though, was that's all they did, and any other time they acted like they normally did, with the usual back and forth bickering and stare-downs. Penny began to wonder if that's all there was between them and, if so, what was the point in pursuing a relationship? So she decided that she needed to hang out with Sheldon more, to see if they were compatible (outside of gaming and singing sea shanties together).

"I can't believe Penny offered to come kite-fighting with us," Leonard commented quizzically, glancing up at his kite flying in the air.

"I can't believe she actually wanted to be on Sheldon's team," Howard remarked laconically, adjusting his string.

"When Penny and I went out, I used to ask her to come kite-fighting with me all the time." Leonard pursed his lips in frustration. "She said that it conflicted with football night."

Howard snorted. "Did you ever question why football night was held during the early afternoon?"

Leonard glanced sidelong at Howard and then looked back up at his kite. "No ..."

"I am just glad that she's not on my team," Raj said loudly, two earbuds dangling in his ears.

"What are you talking about?" Howard turned to face Raj, who was dancing to the tunes playing on his iPod. "This is her first time kite-fighting, and she's kicking our asses!"

Raj took out the right earbuds and adjusted the string to his kite. "Oh, she is a virtual kite-flying warrior princess," he conceded, and then put the earbud back in his ear, "but if she were right here, I would not be able to sing to ABBA."

Howard and Leonard exchanged glances while Raj began to loudly sing _Dancing Queen_.

"Yeah," Howard spat bitterly, looking up at the sky while Raj sang off-key, "lucky Penny."

Just a few feet away Sheldon and Penny were manning their battle station. The two had managed to effectively defeat Howard, Leonard, and Raj—_twice_. They were currently working on defeat number three with astounding success—Sheldon being the brilliant tactician and Penny being the ruthless and adroit soldier.

"This is really fun," Penny admitted with a laugh, knocking Leonard's kite out of the air and causing the bespectacled physicist to whine loudly and sulk over to the park bench.

"Yes," Sheldon agreed, hissing as the rope burned his fingers. "It's always fun when you are winning like we are." He sucked on his middle finger, giving Raj a dirty glare.

"Right." Penny smiled brightly. "We rock!"

Just then, Raj's kite knocked into Sheldon's, threatening to drop it from the air.

"Raj, you diabolical, ABBA-obsessed fiend!" Sheldon shouted, waving his injured fist at the astrophysicist.

"I'm on it," Penny said, putting her determined face on and effectively knocking Raj's kite away from Sheldon's. It was a temporary solution to keeping the ABBA-singing kite-flier at bay.

Sheldon adjusted his saved kite and appraised Penny with a look of admiration. "Well-played."

"Thanks, Moonpie."

"Penny—"

"I know, I know," Penny said, rolling her eyes as she glanced up to see Howard's kite try to strike hers. "No one but your memaw gets to call you Moonpie."

"You know this," Sheldon said with exasperation, manoeuvring his kite towards Howard's and brutally knocking it away from Penny's kite and out of the sky, "yet you keep trying my patience."

"Sorry, Shelly," Penny apologised, grinning, and then attacked Raj's kite with vigour.

After some vicious attacks by Raj, Penny pulled her kite away and glanced over at Sheldon. He towered above her, giving her a disapproving look.

"Sheldon," Penny said slyly, reining her kite back, "c'mere for a second."

"Penny, we're in the middle of fighting Raj," Sheldon pointed out, drawing away as Raj's kite made a dive for his. While not a great singer, Raj was quite skilled at kite-fighting.

"_Please_?"

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Sheldon artfully knocked Raj's kite away and shuffled towards Penny, leaning down so that she could say whatever it was that she desperately needed to say.

"Sorry for calling you Moonpie," she whispered in his ear, and then kissed him just below his earlobe so that none of the guys could see. "_Moonpie_."

Drawing back in shock, Sheldon hissed Penny's name warningly and then stood up straight. Raj's kite had flew into Sheldon's, knocking it out of the sky. Throwing his hands up in frustration, Sheldon was about to chastise Penny for distracting him when Penny had brought her kite around and attacked Raj's, successfully knocking it out of the air—winning the match.

Sheldon opened his mouth in wonder and then snapped it shut, glancing down at Penny. "You used me as a pawn!" he accused, yet there was a tinge of pride in his tone and an impressed grin lingering on his lips.

Penny returned a cocky grin and then stood up on her toes, giving Sheldon a victory hug and a quick kiss on the cheek.

"You were my diversion, sweetie."

"Remind me to never play against you," Sheldon said with a smile, awkwardly returning her hug.

As Penny gave Sheldon another congratulatory kiss on the cheek, not caring who saw, the boys were packing up their kites.

"What are they doing over there?" Leonard asked curiously, watching Penny jump up and down and hug a stiff Sheldon.

"Celebrating over collectively kicking our asses," Howard supplied bitterly, rolling the string onto the spool.

"It looked like Penny was kissing Sheldon on the cheek," Raj interjected in a blasé tone, as he picked up his kite and dusted it off.

"No, she wasn't," Leonard protested lamely, and then tilted his head to the side, examining the blonde and brunet more thoroughly. "Was she?"

Penny and Sheldon were gathering their kites, laughing and smiling, which, in itself, gave Leonard reason for pause.

"No," he said with a resolute shake of his head, convincing himself. "No, she wasn't."

**-x-**

It was Tuesday night at the Cheesecake Factory, and the boys were seated at their usual table. As Penny served another set of customers, she glanced up to see the boys waving at her. Sheldon, however, just gave her an awkward smile, and Penny could not help but smile back.

The two of them had been secretly going out for a little over a week, and they rarely had time alone together as the guys were almost always around. But sometimes Sheldon would come over for dinner when she wasn't working late, or he'd stop by before bed to watch a movie or play Age of Conan with her. The night would usually end with them kissing on her sofa. Sometimes it would heat up; sometimes it wouldn't. It was nice—no pressure or obligation. Then they would part, going to their respective beds to sleep alone. As nice as it was, though, Penny missed the intimacy, and sometimes she wanted to ask Sheldon to stay for the night, knowing that he wouldn't—that he couldn't, not without letting Leonard know.

Once Penny had finished serving her current table, she went over to greet the boys, pulling out a pad of paper and a pencil. The boys ordered their usual and, for some reason, Penny decided to flirt with Sheldon. It was innocent, really. She had just asked if he wanted a kiss with his fries. It was stupid of her, but he was giving her this boyish grin that she couldn't resist. Of course, Sheldon looked startled when she mentioned kissing as a side order, and Leonard started to laugh.

"Penny, stop teasing Sheldon," Leonard admonished playfully, grinning toothily at the blonde. "You know he's a mysophobe. Now he'll think that you've infected his meal."

"_Infect_?" Sheldon asked, a look of panic flitting across his face.

"Sweetie," Penny said assuredly, pausing to give Leonard a dirty look, "I'm not going to infect your food."

"I certainly hope not," Sheldon said priggishly, glancing up at Penny with reproving eyes. He did not reprimand her though—so that was progress.

Heading to the kitchen to place their orders and grab a picture of water, Penny walked back over to the table and poured them their drinks. Once she left to serve other customers, Leonard turned to face Sheldon, directing his roommate a dubious look.

"Sheldon, do you wanna catch me up here? Why is Penny flirting with you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Leonard," Sheldon said quickly, busying his hands by removing the cutlery from his napkin.

Leonard frowned momentarily and then shook his head, laughing. "You're right. Penny would never flirt with you."

Sheldon set down his utensils and gave Leonard a rather scathing look. "And why do you think that?" he asked, causing Howard and Raj to look uncomfortable.

"I dunno," Leonard said with a smile, glancing at Howard before returning his attention back to Sheldon. "You're not really her type."

"Her type?" Sheldon repeated, picking up his napkin as he lifted his nose in the air. "And I suppose you think that _you_ are her type."

Leonard merely looked flabbergasted, not knowing what to say. He had no earthly notion why Sheldon was taking offence to this.

"Sheldon," Howard interjected, leaning forward, "do you honestly think that someone like Penny would go for you?" He snorted. "She's hot, and you annoy her."

Sheldon pursed his lips together and frowned. "I do not annoy her."

"Yes, you do," Leonard emphasised, sounding half exasperated and half confused. "And she annoys you, Sheldon."

"Not always," Sheldon muttered, glancing down at the table.

"Sheldon can pull hot women," Raj announced suddenly, taking a drink from his water. "He is like the ultimate wingman."

Howard nodded in agreement. "This is true. He does seem to attract hot, young graduate students."

"_Crazy_, hot graduate students," Leonard clarified, giving Sheldon a knowing look.

"Crazy science geeks are one thing, though," Howard said. "Sheldon could never get with someone like Penny."

"No?" Sheldon questioned, turning to give Howard a supercilious look.

"Come on, Sheldon," Leonard said in a reasoning tone. "If you could get someone like Penny, you wouldn't even know what to do with her."

"Right," Sheldon began cattily, "because_you_ did?"

Leonard blinked in shock. "Sheldon, I'm not trying to insult you—"

"Oh, but you are," Sheldon countered, his nostrils flaring. "You think that I lack what—social graces, charms, or good looks?" He leaned in close. "Yet _you_ managed to date her."

Leonard scowled. "Sheldon, don't even—"

"What? You brought it up," Sheldon countered sulkily. "You're convinced that someone like me could _never_ attract someone like Penny."

"You said the same thing about me when we first met her!" Leonard hissed, his temper rising. "You said I had hopeless Penny delusions." He took in a deep breath and sighed, controlling his emotions. "Besides, why do you even care? It's not like you're dating Penny or looking to date her."

Sheldon's left eye twitched, and he glanced over at Penny, who was looking his way. He frowned slightly and then lowered his eyes, taking the napkin out of his balled up fist.

"I suppose you're right ..."

Just then, Penny walked over. She had overheard everything, and it was entirely unfair that the boys were picking on Sheldon like this. She wanted to defend him. She wanted to put Leonard and Howard in their places, so she reacted instinctively—impulsively. She kissed Sheldon on the lips.

"Leonard," Penny said breathlessly, as she pulled away from Sheldon, "I'd like to introduce you to my new boyfriend, Sheldon."

At first the boys said nothing—they just stared at her like she had sprouted a second head. Raj, who couldn't say anything in Penny's presence regardless, got up, wandered over to the bar, and ordered a Grasshopper. When he returned with the drink in hand, Leonard and Howard were still staring at Penny in silence—as had the rest of the restaurant's patrons.

"This is going to be good," Raj said, taking a sip and sitting down at the table.

Finally, under the scrutiny of the strangers that surrounded them, Leonard reacted, letting out a nervous peal of laughter.

"This is a bazinga of yours that she put you up to," Leonard said somewhat what desperately, pointing up at Penny, who was standing beside a somewhat bewildered Sheldon.

"_Me_?" Sheldon asked incredulously. "I didn't even know that we were dating until just now." He glanced up at Penny with pursed lips, shifting on his seat. "Last week she told me that we were not in a relationship—that we were to just take things slow and kiss a lot."

Leonard's jaw dropped, and he leaned forward on his forearms. "Kiss?" he asked with a sense of urgency, and then snapped his fingers in front of Sheldon's face when he did not immediately respond. "Sheldon! _Kiss_?"

"Yes?" Sheldon blinked nonplussed and glanced up at Penny for conformation, who nodded hesitantly. "Penny and I have kissed; however, I am not sure what aspect of this concept is confusing you, Leonard." His eyes then lit up and he smiled, raising a finger in the air. "I know. I will do the math for you."

Sheldon went to reach for Penny's notepad and pencil, when Leonard reached forward and slapped his hand. Flinching, Sheldon turned with wide eyes.

"For the love of God!" Leonard protested, slamming his fists on the table. "_Please_ say bazinga!"

"I really don't think this involves God's love," Sheldon replied tersely, knitting his brow and regarding his roommate with a disapproving look.

"Sheldon!"

"I'm sorry, Leonard, but this is no bazinga," Sheldon repeated, folding his napkin over his lap. "Penny and I have kissed on multiple, separate occasions—twelve times to date."

"You've kissed her _twelve _times in a week?" Howard asked, his mouth ajar. "Bravo, Sheldon."

Leonard snapped his head back in tandem, glaring at the engineer. "Howard! You're not helping!"

"_What_?" Howard lifted his hands and shrugged. "I'm just saying that in the first two years you knew Penny you were lucky to get two or three pity kisses on the cheek from her."

"I always knew that you two would get together," Raj said suddenly with a grin, lifting his glass to Sheldon as a sort of toast before taking a sip. "Opposites attract and all that."

"Opposites?" Leonard asked, furrowing his brow in puzzlement. "But Penny and I are—"

"You are like Mulder and Scully," Raj interrupted, pointing at Sheldon. "You are Scully, though; Penny is Mulder."

"I dunno," Howard said sceptically, leaning forward to examine the couple. "I'd say Sheldon's more like Hermione Granger, and Penny's Ron Weasley."

Raj nodded thoughtfully, taking another sip. "Good point."

Sheldon shook his head, looking entirely exasperated with their trivial discussion. "I don't see why you have to pick examples where the pragmatic scientist—or witch in the case of Harry Potter—has to be a girl," he whined, smoothing out his napkin.

"Okay," Raj conceded, putting down his glass. "You are Tuxedo Mask and Penny is Sailor Moon."

Sheldon scrunched up his nose. "I am not sure how that is better," he admitted, but then relented. "However, I do I like the idea of having super powers. I would prefer something more science-based, though, as opposed to me throwing roses at people."

Howard rubbed his hands together in thought, while Leonard just blinked in absolute bafflement.

"You are Mr Darcy," Raj said with a toothy grin, pointing at the befuddled physicist, "and Penny is Bridget Jones."

Frowning, Sheldon put his hands on the table. "Honestly, Raj, how does Mr Darcy and Bridget Jones compare to an anime super-powered couple?"

Slowly shrugging his left ear into his shoulder, Raj offered Sheldon a sheepish grin in lieu of an explanation.

Howard, who was smiling the entire time, tented his fingers together and pointed, offering a simple solution, "You're Batman, and she's Catwoman."

"Oooh, I like that," Sheldon said, smirking as he nodded appreciatively at Howard, who looked thoroughly pleased with himself.

Penny just rolled her eyes and shook her head, smiling.

"What about Penny is the Uhura to your Spock?" Raj offered with a suggestively raised brow, nodding his head in pre-emptive self-congratulation.

Sheldon considered this, bringing a finger to his lip in contemplation. "I really do like Spock," he said with a hum. "However, I am still not sold on the alternate universe of the Star Trek 2009 movie—at least not until I see the sequel films."

All three men nodded in agreement and began to think deeply on the matter, mulling over other options. Then Howard's eyes suddenly lit up with discovery.

"I've got it," he said, clapping his hands together in excitement. "Penny's the Amanda to your Sarek!"

"Ooh!" Sheldon and Raj squealed excitedly in unison, nodding emphatically as Howard smirked with pride.

"Sarek _is_ an astrophysicist," Sheldon said, as though finding some small fault with the Vulcan's occupation, "but not everyone can be perfect."

"Dude!" Raj said, sitting back in his chair and spreading his arms wide. "I'm _right_ here."

Shaking her head, Penny walked back into the kitchen, sneaking a glance over her shoulder at Sheldon, who was debating with Raj and Howard; their heads together in deep discussion. Only Leonard remained separate from the group, leaning back in his chair, scratching his head and frowning thoughtfully.

_Stage one: denial_, Penny thought to herself with a grimace. She was not looking forward to the next stage: anger.

**-x-**

* * *

**Author notes: **My fingers are still broken—and I won't have the splints off for another couple of weeks. However, I _did_ manage to write some. Yay me, right? This second part of TPS will consist of five chapters, and I will try to update as regularly as possible. Forgive me if there is more than a week long delay between postings. I promise to try my best.

And thank you for all the reviews and the support. I really appreciate them. ^_^


	6. Part II: Chapter 6

Penny trudged up the stairs to her apartment with an impending sense of doom hanging over her head. She had just called out to everyone—Leonard included—that she was dating Sheldon, Dr Sheldon Lee Cooper. _Why_ exactly had she done that? Just because the guys were being mean to Sheldon didn't mean that she had to intervene and tell Leonard that she was dating the lanky physicist, but she did. She supposed that she could have taken it back and said that it was all a big joke. Leonard might have even believed her, too, although he most likely would have been sceptical for a while. But where would that have left her and Sheldon? Obviously they couldn't have had any more alone time together—Leonard would be watching them—and they couldn't kiss anymore.

Couldn't kiss anymore? Screw that! She liked the kissing, and she liked getting Sheldon out of his comfort zone, out of his protective shell, which often seemed to resemble the flimsy construction of wet paper bags and tiny scraps of tin foil.

No, it wouldn't be fair to tell Sheldon that it was all just a big prank. What if he'd be hurt by such a revelation? What if he really wanted to date her? Penny snorted at this thought as she reached the top of the third landing. Yeah, right—like Sheldon cared one way or another if they were dating. No matter what his response would have been, it would have been a lie on her part to tell him—or anyone—that it was all just a joke, because it wasn't.

Finally reaching the bottom of the fourth set of stairs, Penny could hear yelling from up top. It sounded like the shouting was coming from Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. Crouching low, she quietly made her way up the rest of the stairs until she was just outside the door to apartment 4A. The angry and whining lilt of Leonard's voice was unmistakable. He was yelling at Sheldon.

"She's _my_ girlfriend, Sheldon!"

"_Ex_-girlfriend."

"Whatever, Sheldon. You don't go around dating your best friend's ex-girlfriend!"

"Why not?"

"You just don't!"

"Leonard, it was Penny's decision to date, not mine. Plus, I think sufficient time has passed since you and Penny broke off your romantic relationship."

"That's not my point!"

"Then what is you point, Leonard?"

"That you just don't steal someone's girlfriend—_ex_-girlfriend, whatever, especially when you're not even romantically inclined."

"Who says that I am not romantically inclined?"

Penny blinked. _What?_

"I ... Huh?"

There was a pregnant pause, and Penny didn't need to be inside the apartment to picture the confrontation between the two physicists. She was as sure of the pained expression on Leonard's face as she was of the haughty indifference on Sheldon's. However, she wasn't aware that her own mouth was hanging open in absolute shock and anticipation of what Sheldon would say next.

"Wait, Sheldon ... Do you actually have _feelings_ for Penny?"

_Good question. Does he?_

"Of course I do, Leonard. She is my friend ... and she is a good kisser."

Penny couldn't help but grin at Sheldon's last statement. She eagerly bit down on her bottom lip to suppress a blushing giggle.

"_Sheldon_, I did _not_ want to hear that!"

"But, you should know—"

"Sheldon!"

"Leonard."

"Sheldon—"

Leonard sounded exasperated now, but the anger in his voice was not even close to dissipating.

"It's a social convention: friends do _not_ date friends' exes. Would you be happy if I started dating Amy?"

"I wouldn't be _un_happy. Amy Farrah Fowler is a singular woman, Leonard, and you, especially, would benefit from her type of companionship. Would you like her number?"

"No! Sheldon, what you have to understand is that Penny is _mine_—"

"Penny is _not_ a possession, Leonard. I cannot believe you are treating her as such."

Penny crouched low at the door, holding her breath. Was Sheldon actually standing up for her? A proud smile rose to her lips, and she tried to fight the tears that threatened to brim in her eyes.

"She is not chattel to be claimed or bartered over. She is her own woman, however unstable a woman she may be."

Rolling her eyes, Penny couldn't help but let out a silent laugh, rubbing at her eyes with the back of her hand.

"She is not yours, and she is certainly not mine. She is her own person. And that is all I have to say on the matter, Leonard. Good evening."

Penny could hear Sheldon walk off towards his room, but she could also hear Leonard storming towards the door. Jumping back in fright, she scuttled across the hallway and pulled her keys out of her purse, hurriedly trying to open her door.

Opening the door to his apartment wide, Leonard stepped outside, stuffing his own keys into his pockets. A look of seething fury was etched across his face, and his narrowed eyes darted about. Seeing Penny out of his blurry peripheral vision, Leonard turned his head, and their eyes met—his as hard as ice. She had never seen him look this angry. Leonard was always such a gentle guy—a woobie, as Raj affectionately referred to him when he was drunk.

Not sure what to do or say, Penny just stood her ground, meeting Leonard's gaze unwaveringly. He was about to open his mouth to speak, but the look on her face must have given him cause for pausing. Instead, he closed the door without locking it, stuffed his fists in his pockets and bounded down the stairs.

Letting out a sigh of relief, as she wasn't in the mood for a confrontation, Penny turned the key in the lock and opened her door, stepping inside. What Penny didn't know, however, was that the look she had given Leonard, which had caused him to turn away, was that of disappointment.

**-x-**

Tossing and turning in bed, Penny couldn't seem to get settled enough to fall asleep. Thoughts of Leonard and Sheldon arguing kept playing in her mind, as well as the look on Leonard's face in the hall. She felt guilty, of that much was certain, but Leonard had gone out on more dates or what have you than she had since they broke up—and she had never given him _that_ look. Of course, none of those girls were her best friend and roommate, so she could understand his feelings of betrayal.

Still, Penny didn't want to feel guilt over dating Sheldon—weirdness and awkwardness maybe, but not guilt. Besides, the guy had defended her in front of Leonard, with her not even there! No guy had ever went out of his way to say that Penny was her own woman and not some possession. It was downright noble of Sheldon, romantic even. Maybe he was a hero—the Byronic hero, or whatever it was called—not quite pure, but with a good heart underneath all those layers of arrogance.

It had made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside knowing that Sheldon respected her and even cared for her on some level (on a Sheldon level, of course). She had to return the sentiment somehow, in her own (Penny) way. With a resolute nod, she decided to do just that and to start by going over to Sheldon's apartment and sneaking into his room. She wasn't about to get any sleep tonight anyway, not until she saw him and had a talk with him.

Folding back the sheets, Penny rose from bed and walked over to the bathroom and began brushing her teeth. She wasn't about to greet Sheldon unprepared; they had a knack for their 'conversations' dissolving into kisses—so, her breath might as well be minty fresh.

After washing her face and brushing her hair to put it up into a loose ponytail, Penny walked into her kitchen and retrieved the spare key. Stealthily breaking into their apartment was a cinch, and she tried to be as quiet as possible, knowing that Sheldon and Leonard were both asleep (it was well past midnight). She tiptoed down the narrow hallway, holding her breath, as she opened the door to Sheldon's room and kept a watchful eye on Leonard's door.

When she stepped inside, Penny could see Sheldon lying still in bed—flat on his back, as straight as a board (or lying like Dracula in his coffin, as Leonard says). She couldn't help but smile as she watched him sleep. He looked so peaceful and serene, like a slumbering angel. Gently closing the door behind her, Penny crept closer to his bed, intent on waking him up as quietly as possible. She was about to sit down on the wooden chair that sat next to the window when she saw Sheldon's Green Lantern t-shirt neatly folded on the seat. Hesitant at first, and feeling quite naughty, Penny picked up the article of clothing and smelled it. It smelled like Sheldon, which conveniently captured the scent of soap and fabric softener and something else, something distinctly masculine.

Feeling more than adventurous, Penny put Sheldon's t-shirt back down and attended to her own top, slipping it off and throwing it onto the back of the chair. Braless, she picked up his Green Lantern t-shirt and slipped it on over her head, pulling it down to her hips—well past her hips, in fact. She brought the collar to her nose and sniffed. Grinning, Penny looked down at Sheldon soundly sleeping and an even more devilish thought came to mind—more devilish than stealing his t-shirt.

Pulling the elastic tie out of her hair, Penny tiptoed over to the right side of Sheldon's bed. She carefully folded back the covers and slipped inside his bed. The moment her bare feet touched his, however, he stirred, bolting up with impressive speed and hyper-awareness. Sheldon was about to scream 'Danger' when Penny clamped her hand over his mouth and whispered in his ear.

Sheldon's neck jerked around at an almost unnatural angle to get a good look at the interloper. The soft glow from the street lamps outside filtered in, allowing enough light to illuminate Penny's face. His eyes, which had been wide and alarmed, softened, and his body somewhat relaxed against her hand.

Assured that Sheldon was manageable, Penny withdrew her hand and licked her lips.

"Penny?" Sheldon asked in a whisper, knitting his brow in deep confusion. "What are you doing in my room? No one's allowed in my room."

Penny shook her head. Sometimes he was so damn predictable.

"Shut up and move over, Moonpie."

Baulking at the utter ridiculousness of such a notion, Sheldon did not move at first, as though uncomprehending. After some encouraging nudges from Penny, however, he uncharacteristically complied, scooting over to allow the blonde access to his bed. When she snuggled into him, though, he stiffened, giving Penny a persistent, questioning look.

"Penny—"

"Don't worry, hon," she said in a placating tone, folding an arm over his chest and forcing him to lie down with her. "I just want to cuddle."

Much to Sheldon's chagrin, he not only allowed Penny entrance to his bed, but he let her drape her arm across him—actually allowed physical contact besides kissing. Small wonders (or big wonders in Sheldon's case) never ceased to exist!

After a moment of silence, Sheldon brought a hand up to touch her arm, as though to ensure that she was real and not a hallucination or dream. His fingers trailed along the sleeve of her borrowed t-shirt, and he frowned, turning to face her. Drawing back the sheets, he was able to get a good look at what she was wearing—and he was _not_ impressed.

"Are you wearing my Green Lantern shirt?" he hissed, sitting upright and flipping back the sheets fully so that her bare legs showed. "You'll stretch it across the chest, woman!"

Penny couldn't help but laugh. Sheldon looked adorable when he was angry—not nearly as adorable as when he was flustered or embarrassed, but still. It was a good thing that she hadn't shed her shorts, since she had no panties on underneath. Penny was almost certain that Sheldon would freak out even more if he knew that she was in bed, half-naked. The health issues!

She also noted, as the sheets were drawn back on his side as well, that Sheldon was not wearing his pyjama bottoms. Without an ounce of humility, Penny blatantly ogled his package, which was barely contained in his tighty-whities.

"Are you not wearing pyjama bottoms?" Penny asked, pointing at his lower regions.

With his Adam's Apple bobbing almost unnaturally in his throat, Sheldon immediately yanked the sheets back up, covering both himself and her. "I spilled grape juice," he explained lamely, a blush rising to his cheeks.

"Again?"

He licked his lips and glanced away, the blankets bunched up in his fists. "I like grape juice," he said in a soft, meek voice, swivelling his head back so that his round eyes focussed on hers.

Penny smiled, bringing a hand to his cheek, stroking it gently until his features relaxed. Curling up beside him, she rested her head on his chest, knowing that he was still upset about her wearing his shirt—and being in his bed. But he didn't demand that she take it off, and he didn't order her out of his bed and out of his room. Instead, he sank back down on the mattress and let out a laboured sigh, his hand absently sliding down her back.

"I'm sorry things are rough between you and Leonard right now," Penny whispered, nuzzling her face into his flannel pyjama top.

"It's alright," Sheldon said sleepily, yawning. "Leonard's a handful, but I can manage him."

Smiling into his chest, Penny nodded. "I'm sure you can."

She curled her leg over top of his and waited for him to react. He did, but not in the way that she thought he would. Instead of pulling away, his hand travelled up and down her back, slowly rubbing it in a soothing motion as he made sounds of sleep.

"Sheldon," Penny began hesitantly after a moment, "do you want to date me?" She bit her tongue the second the words escaped her lips. She didn't think she wanted to hear his answer. No. Not, she didn't.

He was silent for a minute, and Penny thought that he had fallen asleep. But he stirred beside her and turned his head, resting his chin on top of her head. It was a sweet gesture, and Penny wasn't convinced that he had done it as such but merely upon reflex. Still, she revelled in the intimacy, holding him closer.

"I am not _unhappy_ with the arrangement," Sheldon answered, murmuring into her hair, "but I would have liked to have been consulted first, before the fiasco at the Cheesecake Factory."

Penny stiffened in his embrace, feeling the heat rush to her cheeks. She had been impulsive, but she had only said it to stop Leonard and Howard from teasing Sheldon—hadn't she?

"I thought you wanted to take it slow," he added, and Penny raised her chin so that she could look up at him.

"I did—and I _do_," she said. "Are you opposed to trying?"

Sheldon looked down at her, and she could see the wheels and cogs turning in his head.

"No, I am not opposed to trying," he answered.

Penny smiled, closing her eyes as she reached up to kiss his chin. "Thank you, Sheldon," she said, curling back into him.

Then, remembering that she hadn't asked him the most important question of all, she nervously gripped his pyjama top tightly and pulled it towards her mouth.

"Sheldon, do you ..." She paused, trying to find the right words. "Do you at least _feel_ something for me? You know, more than friendship?"

He seemed to consider this question, taking in a deep breath and weighing her words as though they were valuable. For this, Penny was extremely grateful. Sheldon wasn't impulsive, and he never outright disregarded what she had to say. Others, of course, but with her he seemed to be lenient and patient, almost respectful.

"I do," he answered softly, no hesitation in his voice. "It's natural for me to feel something for you beyond friendship, Penny. It's science."

"Really?"

"Oh, yes," he said exuberantly, despite sounding sleepy just a moment ago. "According to the German polymath Johann Goethe, human relationships are purely chemical reactions, or—" he made quotation marks with his fingers, causing her head to slide back down onto the pillow "—'affinity reactions' as they called them back then."

"Mhm," Penny murmured sleepily, bringing her head back up and nuzzling it into Sheldon's shoulder. She couldn't help but smile as he droned on about the mathematics of relationships.

"Whereby the actions and processes involved in the state of love and human actions revolve around this notion, which is quantified by measures of chemical affinity ..."

"Fascinating," Penny lisped and then yawned, hugging Sheldon tightly, surprised as he absently hugged her back.

"Indeed. However, the German physicist Herman Helmholtz, in his paper on _The Thermodynamics of Chemical Processes_, argued against chemical affinity for the free energy equation, which—"

Penny had completely tuned Sheldon out before he finished his lecture, falling fast asleep in his arms with a big, goofy grin on her face. Trust Sheldon to put her to sleep with a smile on her face.

**-x-**

Shake, shake, shake.

"Penny?"

Shake, shake, shake.

"Penny?"

Shake, shake, shake.

"Penny?"

Her arms were wrapped around one of Sheldon's pillows, hugging it tightly with her face buried in the polyester linen. She tiredly raised her head and blinked her eyes open, feeling the drool on her cheek drip off onto the pillow sheet below.

"Good morning, Sheldon," she greeted hoarsely, her voice half-muffled by the pillow. This had to be one of the first times Penny had ever woken up in another man's room without suffering a horrible hangover or not knowing exactly where she was.

"Get out."

Penny's eyes were fully open now, and she was wide awake. Annoyed, she raised her head in disdain and cast Sheldon a nasty glare.

"That was subtle," she muttered, bracing herself on her forearms and taking a free hand to rake her fingers through her tangled tendrils. "Your bedside manner is _really_ lacking, sweetie."

Sheldon, who was already out of bed (with pants on this time), was hovering above her. "I have to get ready for work," he explained, handing her her tank top and set of keys, "and I assume that you want to go back to bed and _not_ run into Leonard."

Penny immediately sat up at the mention of Leonard, folding her legs underneath. Tiredly rubbing at her eyes with the ridges of her palms, she dutifully held out her hands to receive the proffered items.

"Ah, yes, good idea," she yawned. "Smart man."

Sheldon blinked and then turned up his pointed nose up at her in a supercilious manner. "Of course I am," he said, as though she had pointed out the most obvious statement ever uttered, and then began shooing her out of his bed.

Properly shooed, Penny shakily got out of bed and rose to her feet, reaching up to twine her arms around Sheldon's neck. On her tiptoes, she managed to pull his head downward so that his lips descended upon hers. She gave him a soft, chaste peck and then released one of her hands to bring it to his mouth, wiping away any drool she might have left behind.

"I'll see you tonight, then, Moonpie," she said coquettishly, flashing him her most charming smile, despite the fact that it was an ungodly hour, and she felt half dead.

"Penny," Sheldon said warningly, about to reprimand her for her gratuitous and unsolicited use of his memaw's pet name for him when she cut him off with another kiss—longer and much more insistent.

When Penny drew back, settling back down on her heels, Sheldon was blinking at her in a peculiar manner. His eyes had a glazed over look to them, and she couldn't help but smirked.

"Say, 'I'll see you tonight, Penny'," she coaxed, gently running her finger along his lips.

He frowned but complied. "I'll see you tonight, Penny," he parroted, and Penny let out a soft laugh before returning to her tiptoes to deliver a third, brief kiss.

"Good boy," she crooned, stealing one last kiss (she just couldn't resist) and gathering her things before leaving Sheldon's room, while he headed to the bathroom.

Tripping over her own two feet, Penny stumbled out of the hallway into the living room. The sound of someone unceremoniously clearing one's throat made her jump, almost dropping her tank top and keys onto the floor. Penny stood frozen, clutching her shirt against her chest, which was currently emblazoned with the Green Lantern symbol. Leonard was standing silently in the kitchen, dressed in his terry-cloth robe and wearing his thick, rimmed glasses that were precariously hanging off the bridge of his nose. His hair was wild and dishevelled, sticking up in every which direction as though he'd had a rough night's sleep.

It was the strange look on Leonard's face that had given Penny a reason to pause—much worse than the look he had given her in the hallway last night. It was a look of contempt and outrage, mingled with disappointment, disgust, shock—complete and utter shock. Penny didn't know how someone could fit so many emotions into one look, but Leonard had found a way. She felt her defences weaken by the second, before he even dared to open his mouth. The longer she stood there, the more guilty felt and the less confident she became. Having slunk out of Sheldon's apartment wearing his t-shirt and tousled bed hair, Penny knew exactly what conclusion Leonard had come to. She couldn't bring herself to stand there and listen to his views on the matter, so she bolted before he had a chance to.

Afraid that Leonard would pursue her, Penny quickly unlocked the door to her apartment and ran inside, locking the door behind her. Leaning the back against the cool surface, she breathed deeply, clenching her keys in her sweaty palms. With no sound of Leonard opening his door, she slowly turned around and chanced a peek out the peep-hole.

Suddenly, she heard Leonard bellow Sheldon's name, his voice carrying across the hallway. Startled, Penny quietly unlocked her door and opened it. She could hear loud bickering from their apartment, so loud that she didn't even need to step into the hallway, but she did. Feeling sick to her stomach, Penny crept to Leonard and Sheldon's, putting her ear to the door.

"What was Penny doing here—_in your room_?"

"Obviously she had stayed the night, Leonard."

"_Stayed the night_? She was sleeping in your bed!"

Penny could hear the incredulous rage in Leonard's voice, and the cluck of disapproval from Sheldon's throat.

"We did not engage in coitus, if that is what you are worried about."

"Worried about? She was wearing nothing but your Green Lantern t-shirt!"

A pause.

"She took that?"

Then there was a growl.

"That impudent shirt thief!"

"Sheldon, we have to talk—"

"_Enough_, Leonard!"

When Penny heard Sheldon yell, her heart felt like it had literally leapt into her throat. She had never heard him sound so forceful before, so ... angry. And he was yelling at Leonard—yelling at him about _her_.

"You will just have to get used to Penny and I dating like I had to get used to your carnal relationship with her."

"Shel—"

"Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to go have an uninterrupted shower. Both you and Penny have compromised my schedule enough for one day."

He clucked his tongue again, and Penny could almost see Sheldon shaking his head in annoyance while Leonard stared at him in stunned silence.

"No shame, I tell you. No shame."

Penny took in a shaking breath and stood up straight. Sheldon had defended her—_again_. Taking one last look at apartment 4A before she headed to her own room, Penny smiled. Maybe there was hope for her and Sheldon. Maybe there was hope for them as a couple after all.

**-x-**


	7. Part II: Chapter 7

It was a slow Thursday afternoon at work, and Penny wished she had taken the day off like she had first planned. Making below minimum wage wasn't worth this awful boredom, and there was no way that she was going to offset her dismal pay with tips. Originally, she had taken the day off to go in for a call-back for an audition that she had given earlier last week. She had been so excited that she scheduled the entire day off the moment she got off the phone. However, by Wednesday she had received another call, cancelling her call-back: they had found a girl for the part. _Part_? It was a damn Pepto Bismol commercial!

Penny had called her boss and got the afternoon shift, trying not to think of how an anti-indigestion commercial would have been her first break since she moved to California or how big of a failure she was as an actress. Instead, she took a seat at the table near the kitchen and daydreamed. It was a small table that customers never sat at, and it was a place where the waitresses and the occasional busboy would sit at to take their breaks on slow days. Sipping her herbal tea, Penny gazed across the way and looked out the window to watch the endless river of pedestrians outside. Most of them were office-workers at this hour, heading home for the day. A few tourists were outside, too—idly chit-chatting with one another, carrying shopping bags and smiles. Penny wished at that moment that she were outside on this warm, sunny day, shopping for shoes with her unlimited Visa Black Card. If only ...

"Good afternoon, Penelope," came Howard's lilting voice, shaking her from her reverie. "Or should I call you Shirt Thief?"

Penny blinked up at the short engineer, who happened to be taller than her while she was seated. Setting down her tea, she levelled a hardened glare at him, which caused him to slightly recoil back against Raj, who was standing with him. A nagging, niggling feeling at the back of Penny's mind dared her to cut into Howard, but she resisted temptation. Barely.

"Well, if it isn't Joanie and Chachi," she remarked in a not too joking tone, taking in the taller man, Raj, who stood stoically at Howard's side. "What brings you two love-birds here?"

Howard scowled, briefly looking down at his tight shirt and pants. He was wearing a ridiculous dickey, as per usual, and Penny wasn't quite sure why she likened him to Chachi, if not for his 'Seventies bowl haircut and unwarranted swagger.

"Bernadette's car is in the shop," he explained tersely, "and I am here to pick her up."

Penny snorted. "On your scooter?" She glanced up at Raj, who was now fidgeting under her gaze. "Is there room for all three of you?"

Howard brought his head back, almost tucking his chin into the front of his collar. "The shirt thief is on a roll today," he remarked dryly, and then pointed at Raj with his thumb. "Raj is driving us. Bernadette is setting him up with a friend of hers."

Penny smirked, looking Raj up and down. "Planning on getting liquored up, Joanie?"

Raj's eyes seemed to bulge out of their sockets and he squeaked, turning to Howard's ear, whispering fiercely.

"They are a couple from an 'Eighties show called _Joanie Loves Chachi_," Howard explained tersely.

More whispering.

"I assume she thinks that _I_ am Chachi since I am the more masculine one," Howard answered, looking rather cocky.

Penny raised an eyebrow. "No," she interjected. "Raj is prettier." She pointed to the astrophysicist, who blushed appreciatively, and then turned back to Howard. "And Scott Baio is a horny, womanising dick who will be single for the rest of his life."

Yeah, she had tried to be pleasant and failed. _Miserably_.

Howard, who had taken the insult with a measure of grace, pursed his lips together in anger and folded his arms over his chest. "No wonder you and Sheldon are dating," he stated cattily. "You're both insensitive douches."

Penny's face fell, the nasty humour removed. She wasn't Howard's biggest fan—he was a creep who constantly hit on her—but he hadn't said or done anything to warrant such ill-will from her. It wasn't right for her to take her frustrations and feelings of self-doubt and self-loathing out on him or anyone else for that matter.

"Howard," Penny began weakly, gesturing lamely with her hands, "I shouldn't have said that. It wasn't right of me." She let out a pathetic sigh. "I've been stressed out because of work and such and I took it out on you. I'm really sorry."

Howard looked unmoved at first, but then he dropped his arms and shrugged. "Apology accepted." He really couldn't stay mad at her for long—none of the boys could, except for maybe Sheldon.

Penny smiled, thankful, and then looked up at Raj, who was shyly offering her a thumbs up. She laughed despite her sour mood.

"You should really think about apologising to Leonard, too," Howard suggested, his face no longer angry but serious.

"He's still really mad, isn't he?" Penny let out a shuddering sigh and looked down at her hands.

"That's a bit of an understatement."

There was a thick tension hanging in the air, broken only when Raj cupped his palm around Howard's ear and began to whisper. Penny watched, wondering what Raj had to say on the matter.

"Exactly," Howard agreed once Raj finished and pulled back.

Penny's curiosity was piqued. "What?" She glanced from Howard to Raj, pantomiming sign language. "You're going to have to start using your words some day, Koko."

Grinning, Howard shook his head. "He said that since you've been avoiding Leonard he's been taking all of his anger out on Sheldon."

"Oh God," Penny said slowly, bringing her hands up to her mouth. She suddenly felt sick. "I didn't even think about that."

Howard laced his fingers together and rested them against his torso, nodding morosely. "And your late night 'dinner and a movie' with Sheldon aren't exactly helping matters either."

Penny glanced up at Raj, who was also nodding solemnly, and she felt her defensive walls rise.

"But that's all we're doing," she said in an almost apologetic tone, lifting her palms upwards in supplication. Noting the unbelieving expressions that hung on both of their faces, Penny lowered her gaze to her hands again, setting her palms flat on the table. "Sheldon never told me that Leonard is chewing him out."

Howard shrugged. "I assume that Sheldon tunes him out like he does with—well, like he does with everyone else."

"It's become pretty bad, then?" Penny asked, not sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

Howard and Raj exchanged glances. "It's reaching Chernobyl proportions."

Penny bent her head, defeated. "Alright," she sighed, slumping her shoulders forward. "I'll talk to Leonard tonight."

As Penny rose to her feet, gathering her empty mug, she noticed that Howard and Raj were still standing still, watching her intently.

"What?"

Raj shifted on his feet uncomfortably while Howard shrugged insistently. "Uh, Bernadette?"

Penny's mouth opened, forming the shape of an O. "Oh, right. She's back in the kitchen." She jerked her thumb to the closed door behind her. "I'll go get her for you."

Penny walked into the kitchen, dropping her cup in the sink and nodding a curt hello to the cook. She found Bernadette sitting at the table just outside the locker room, scribbling notes in a small, black Moleskine journal. Penny suspected that the blonde was doing homework while waiting for Howard to come pick her up. How nice it must be for Bernadette to have a life outside of work.

"Hey, Bernadette," Penny greeted with a smile, watching the petite blonde continue to jot down notes. "Howard and Raj are outside in the restaurant waiting for you."

"Oh, great," Bernadette said breathlessly, stopping her pen on the paper as she pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her nose. "I'm just going to change out of my work clothes, then."

Penny nodded absently, clasping her fingers together as she watched her friend pack up. "Bernadette, could I talk to you about something?"

The shorter girl turned, nodding. "Sure. You want to come out with me into the back?"

Bernadette did not wait for Penny to answer, but took off towards their locker room. Penny followed closely behind, letting out a laboured sigh.

"What is it?" Bernadette asked. She opened her locker door and took off her glasses and began to undress.

Penny took a seat on the bench across from her, pressing the edge of her palms flat against the faux wooden surface.

"I told you that me and Sheldon are going out now, right?" Bernadette turned her head and nodded, slipping her blouse and vest over her head. "And, well ..." Penny paused, twisting her fingers together in anxiety. "Leonard is extremely pissed off about it, and he's taking all his anger out on Sheldon."

Bernadette frowned, taking a thin grey sweater from her locker and slipping it on over her head. "Have you talked with Leonard about this?"

"No, I've kinda been avoiding him."

Bernadette lowered her skirt and stepped out of it, neatly folding it before slipping it into her knapsack with the rest of her clothing.

"You really should talk with him," she said in her soft, high-pitched voice. It was like the voice of a child—a reasonable, intelligent child. More intelligent than Penny, anyway.

"I know," Penny admitted lamely, "but what do I say? 'Sorry about kissing your roommate and best friend behind your back and then deciding to date him. No hard feelings?'" She raised her hands in futility, giving her friend a strained smile.

"That does sound a bit callous," Bernadette agreed, pulling on a pair of jeans. "Maybe you should just tell him how you feel and be honest about it."

Penny swallowed hard, an audible click at the back of her dry throat. "To _be_ honest, Bernadette, I'm not quite sure _how_ I feel." She bit the inside of her cheek, averting her gaze. "I mean, I feel guilty for kissing Sheldon behind Leonard and Amy's backs—" She cut herself off, suddenly realising the fatal error she had made. "Crap on a cracker! I haven't told Amy that I'm dating Sheldon!"

"Oh, Penny," Bernadette said sympathetically, slipping on a pair of loafers, "you have to tell her."

Penny closed her eyes and made an 'ugh' sound before leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees. "I know! I know!" She buried her face in her hands, muffling her voice. "I just feel so guilty about dating Sheldon."

"Why?"

Penny lifted her chin, staring up pitifully at Bernadette. "Well, there's Amy, who is my friend and was dating Sheldon until the whole kissing thing happened. And then there's Leonard." She looked away, staring at an empty locker. "I feel like us being together—me and Sheldon—is creating unnecessary friction between his circle of friends."

Bernadette put her glasses back on and sat down beside her. "Do you really think it's affecting everyone? Leonard seems to be the only one who is upset about the arrangement. Unless youare upset about it as well."

"No, I'm not. I don't think—" Penny shook her head, interrupting her own words, and turned to look almost pleadingly at Bernadette. "Do you think I should be?"

"I think only _you_ know how you should feel, Penny," Bernadette said softly, placing a hand on Penny's shoulder. "Do you like Sheldon?"

"I do, but sometimes I want to throw him down a flight of stairs just to see if he'll bounce. And other times I just have this unflagging instinct to mother him.

"Sure, a lot of the time he annoys the crap outta me, but sometimes Sheldon is just _awesome_, and I can't explain why. It's like one minute he'll make me feel like the most stupid person in the world and the next he'll go out of his way to help me without me asking. He's one of the few people who tells me things about myself like how they really are, and he never kisses up or sugarcoats."

"But do you _like_ him, Penny—more than a friend?"

"I dunno," she admitted truthfully. "I just know that I can't think straight when he kisses me. Time flies by, it slows down, it warps—whatever. It's exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time, and I've never felt this way with any other guy before, and I never thought I would start with someone like Sheldon."

"But?"

"But I don't know if that's enough for a relationship," Penny said, feeling the truth and the heart of the matter hit home. "My past relationships, before Leonard, were all based on sex and physical attraction. And maybe on some level so was my relationship with Leonard—the sex part, anyway." She blushed. "Sheldon and I haven't had sex, only kissing, but—but I have to know that we have something more than just the physical in common."

Bernadette lowered her hand, shrugging. "I guess you won't know until you try."

"Try what?"

"Try to let yourself _be_ in a relationship and not question every little thing," she answered, smiling her comforting smile. "Follow your heart and not your head. Spend time with Sheldon and see if you can work together."

"Is it really that easy?"

Bernadette stood up. "Nothing is ever that easy."

"You're right," Penny said, letting out a shaky laugh. "Thanks, Bernadette."

"No problem," she said, grabbing her knapsack before heading out into the restaurant. "Just don't forget to tell Amy about you and Sheldon."

"I won't."

Once Bernadette was out of sight, Penny slunk forward, palming her face with her hands. What on earth was going to do about her situation with Leonard and Sheldon? What was she going to do?

**-x-**

Penny pushed her key into the lock of her door that evening at a quarter past seven. She was tired and hot but also very pleased to be home. Curled in one arm was a bag of groceries, her meals for the next few days. Closing the door behind her, she went straight to the kitchen, setting her purse, bag, and keys on the island counter. She then went to work unpacking and stocking the grocery items in her cupboards and fridge. Once finished, she fished her phone out of her purse and stared at the screen for a moment before searching for Amy's number. Grimacing, she pressed the button and took in a deep breath, listening to the phone ring through.

"_This is Amy Farrah Fowler. How may I help you?_"

"Hi, Amy. It's me, Penny."

"_Hello, bestie."_

Swallowing hard, Penny could swear that she tasted bile on her palate. It must have been her nerves.

"I was calling to ask you if you wanted to meet up tonight for a drink or something to eat or whatever. There's something that I need to tell you."

"_Why not cut out the middle man?"_

"Excuse me?"

"_Sorry, I was trying out colloquialisms. What I meant to say was, why not just inform me of what I need to know right now, on the phone? I am rather busy with this scholarly article that I am writing."_

Penny couldn't help but roll her eyes and smile a little.

"Oh, well, it's kind of a personal thing. You know, like when you have sensitive news and you need to be face-to-face with the person you're giving the information to."

"_Ah, you mean like telling someone that you are dying or revealing the news that he or she has contracted a sexually transmitted disease?"_

"Sure ..."

"_You're not dying, are you?"_

"No."

"_And since we are not sexual partners and you would have no knowledge of my own mortal status, I can assume that you are not relaying such a message to me."_

"No, no, I—" _Spit it out, Penny!_ "I'm going out with Sheldon!"

"_Going out where?"_

"Out out—like we're in a relationship." She cleared her throat uncomfortably. "A romantic relationship."

"_Oh, I already knew that."_

Penny almost choked on her own phlegm. "You did? How?"

"_Sheldon told me at work last week. He said that you had announced your relationship status to everyone at your work."_

"Yes, uh, I guess I did." What could she say to that? "Amy, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you right away."

"_No worries."_

"You're not mad at me?"

"_Why would I be?"_

"I'm dating your ex-boyfriend."

"_There is a reason why he's an ex, Penny."_

"Yeah, but—never mind. So, are we cool? Are we still friends?"

"_Of course. You are my bestie."_

Penny smiled. "Great. Can we still get together for drinks this week or on the weekend?"

"_I will check my schedule and get back to you."_

"Okay."

"_Penny?"_

"Yes?"

"_Could I get your ex's phone number off you?"_

"Zack's?"

"_The tall, burly fellow, rippling with muscles, yes."_

Penny laughed. "Sure."

Suddenly, there were sounds of scuffling outside her door, accompanied by sharp yells which were followed by a series of thumps. Penny rushed over to her door, phone in hand, and put her eye to the peep-hole. Yanking her head back in disbelief, she blinked twice and then put her eye back to the peep-hole. Leonard and Sheldon were outside her door ... fighting?

"Amy, I'll have to call you back."

"_Please do not call past nine—"_

Penny clicked off the phone and opened the door wide. There, out in the hall, were Leonard and Sheldon wrestling on the ground. It was a horrifying yet comical sight. There was a great deal of flailing limbs and clawing digits. At one point they were both on their feet with Sheldon holding Leonard back at arm's length—his palm resting flat on Leonard's forehead while the obviously shorter physicist tried to swipe at Sheldon. _Swipe and fail_. And while the sight before Penny was much like watching two flamingos fight, Sheldon clearly had the upper hand.

"What in the _hell_ is going on?" she asked, her phone gripped tightly in her hand.

Howard and Raj, who were standing conspiratorially off to the side, looked over at Penny with a mixture of amusement, terror, and bafflement.

"We had just came back from the comic store," Howard told her, still watching his two friends fight, "and Sheldon was talking about how much he enjoys _Penny Arcade_, and Leonard just lost it. He went berserk and tackled him."

Just then, Sheldon put Leonard in a full nelson. The taller physicist's features were soft yet puzzled. His body was coiled tightly in anticipation—a body trained to anticipate and react against physical confrontation. Leonard, however, was anything but relaxed. His face was contorted in ugly rage and he looked to be frothing at the mouth. His hands were trying to claw at Sheldon's face, but he could not reach. Instead, he worked on the taller man's long, taut fingers.

Penny couldn't believe the sight in front of her.

"Raj has twenty on Sheldon to win, but I have my money on Leonard," Howard said conversationally, frowning as watched Sheldon get the upper hand. "I'm hoping that his jealousy and rage will allow him to transform into Super Saiyan mode, giving him the edge to fight dirty." He sniffed, lowering his phone to follow the action of the fight. "Either way, this is yet another classic Cooper-Hofstadter tussle going straight up on youtube."

Penny hadn't noticed the phone in Howard's hand, recording the entire event. She was too focussed on the fight in front of her, convincing herself that she would have to intervene before Sheldon and Leonard hurt each other. However, Sheldon did seem to be doing an admirable job containing Leonard.

"Stop this now or I will go junior rodeo on both your asses!" Penny admonished, causing Sheldon to immediately let go of Leonard and back away.

Leonard sharply turned around, glaring at Sheldon and ignoring Penny altogether. "I had you! I was just waiting for my moment to strike."

"When was that, Leonard?" Sheldon asked patronisingly, looking slightly upset. "_After _I had your arms locked behind your head?"

Leonard bristled with indignation. "I was letting you _think_ that you had the upper hand. After I had lulled you into a false sense of security I was going to turn the tables and take you down with the power and grace of Capoeira."

"Really?" Sheldon snorted. "Leonard, _epileptics_ fight with more grace than you." He looked down his nose at the shorter physicist. "Capoeira training not withstanding."

"Okay, _enough_!"

The boys turned to look at Penny, who had her arms crossed over her chest and was tapping her foot impatiently on the floor.

"Spoilsport," Howard said in a sulky voice.

"Chachi!" Penny snapped, pointing at Howard's rather shiny and uncomfortable-looking shoes. "Why don't you click your heels three times and go back to the Happy Days?"

"That was a rather odd and slightly skewed pop cultural reference," Sheldon stated idly, as though he hadn't just been in a fight with his best friend. "Unless there was an episode where Chachi dreamt that he was Dorothy from _The Wizard of Oz_."

"Whatever, Sheldon," Penny said, irritated, pointing at the door. "Just go into the apartment, and I will deal with this."

"No, Chachi didn't wear heels: _Joanie_ did!" Howard said, looking exasperated with Raj, who was still whispering in his ear. "It was a joke where—" He stopped himself, tense and agitated. "Okay, Raj, you seriously need to let some go."

Raj lowered his head like a dejected dog, and Howard looked as though he was about to apologise when Penny waved her hands.

"Guys, get in the apartment!" she barked, and then narrowed her eyes on Leonard. "I need to speak with you, _alone_."

The rest of the boys complied, walking into Sheldon's apartment while Penny took Leonard into hers, closing the door behind them.

"Sheldon started it," Leonard began petulantly, but Penny cut him off.

"I don't care about that," she said, and then sighed, rubbing at the back of her neck. "Okay, I _do_, but that's not why I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh?" Leonard asked, titling his head to the side, looking almost hopeful.

Shaking her head, Penny walked over to her sofa and took a seat. She let out another sigh, glancing down at her feet before she looked up at Leonard, indicating, with her eyes, that he take a seat too. Reading her face, he did just that, sitting down somewhat nervously.

"Leonard, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about me and Sheldon upfront." Her voice wavered, her eyes brimming with unshed tears as she met Leonard's sad gaze. "And I'm sorry that I announced our whole relationship or whatever it is in front of everybody in such a shocking way. You must know that I _never_ meant to hurt you."

Leonard didn't say a word at first. Instead, he looked down at his hands and curled his fingers into fists, clenching and unclenching them in both rage and frustration. Letting out a shuddering sigh, he finally glanced up at Penny, meeting her green eyes with brown.

"Then why did you decide to ... do stuff with him behind my back?"

Penny breathed out through her nose and squared her shoulders, setting her jaw tightly. "First of all, we're not dating anymore, so I'm not doing anything _behind your back_." Her features relaxed when she saw his falling chest. "Secondly, everything just happened so fast. It all started out innocent and it still is." She shrugged her shoulders, blushing softly as she looked down at her lap. "All we have done is kiss, and I honestly don't think that Sheldon wants to do anything beyond that."

"What do _you_ want?"

Penny glanced up, perplexed by his question which had been much like the one that Bernadette had asked earlier.

"I don't know," she admitted truthfully, "but I want to give Sheldon and I a chance—to see what can come of it, if anything."

Leonard's eyes were round and sad beneath his glasses. "But what about us?"

Penny felt her heart twist in her chest and something burn in her stomach, like indigestion. But she had to be strong about this and not give in.

"This isn't about us," she said, and reached out to put a hand on Leonard's shoulder, resisting the urge to take his hand. "Look, I don't know if anything will ever happen between us again, but I'm with Sheldon right now and I want to see where this will go. I will always care about you, Leonard, but we are _not_ together anymore.

"Also, I need to have you as a friend in my life and I need you to forgive Sheldon. He is innocent in all of this. You know that. This is _my_ fault. I should have told you once I started having feelings for him, and I should have been your friend and come to you first. I just hope that you can forgive me and still be my friend."

She looked at him pleadingly, asking him to forgive him not just with her words but with her eyes. Leonard just stared at her. He wasn't complacent, but he wasn't angry or upset either. He looked contemplative.

"I ..." He paused, searching for the right words; his face was a blank canvas. "I need time to process all of this."

Penny nodded, willing to capitulate to almost anything he said. "I understand, but Leonard?"

He had already risen to his feet, heading for the door. "Yeah?"

"Please don't hate me for too long."

He shook his head, grasping his hand around the doorknob. "I don't hate you, Penny. I've never hated you."

Penny watched him slink out of her apartment, sad and dejected. Staring at the closed door, she grimaced. She really hoped that what he said was the truth. She really did.

**-x-**

Penny had decided to avoid going over to the boys' apartment for the next few days, to give Leonard some time to let everything sink in. On Saturday she had dinner, did laundry, and watch a movie with Sheldon. By the time Monday had rolled around Sheldon had only come over to visit her twice, which had left Penny feeling somewhat depressed. She had chalked up his avoidance to being busy with his work and being concerned about upsetting Leonard.

On Tuesday night at the Cheesecake Factory Leonard seemed subdued at dinner, not once yelling or glaring at Sheldon. He wasn't being overly friendly, but he didn't seem to be angry anymore. That night, after work, Penny had come over to watch television. It was awkward, but there was no hostility in the air. There was some hope that the Leonard's angry phase was over.

The next night—Halo Night—Penny felt more confident, especially knowing that Raj and Howard would be there to break up any tension. She had decided to dress the part of a geek, putting on a 'borrowed' t-shirt of Sheldon's. Smirking to herself, she strode over to apartment 4A and opened the door. She was greeted immediately by Raj and Howard, who were sitting on the sofa playing random games on the X-Box. Leonard smiled wanly from the kitchen, making himself a cup of tea.

"What up, bitches?" Penny asked comically, holding her arms out so that everyone could see the big S emblazoned on her chest. "I'm here to kick some ass."

"Penny's got game," Howard said with a smirk, holding onto the X-Box controller. "_And_ a new shirt."

Sheldon, who had ignored her entrance, was behind the sofa going through the games on his bookcase. Hearing that Penny had a new shirt, he stood up to look, intrigued.

"What kind of—" His words were cut short when he saw the blonde sporting a very familiar t-shirt. "Penny!" he cried, his fast twisted in shock and anger. "Is that _my_ Superman t-shirt?"

"I'm not Penny," she said seriously, placing her hands on her hips. "I'm _Superman_." She had said 'Superman' in a deep voice, causing Howard and Raj to snicker.

Sheldon, however, just stared at her with knitted brow, his mouth hanging ajar.

"What?" Penny asked, not understanding the looks that they all were giving her.

"It's 'I'm _Batman_'," Howard corrected with a deep baritone, mimicking Christian Bale's deep, raspy voice.

"Oh," she said, a little disappointed. "Whatever, I'm _super_ Batman."

Sheldon was still staring at her, flabbergasted and angry—with her fallacious Superman statement or her blatant shirt-stealing, she wasn't sure. Most likely both. Before he could open his mouth to issue a scathing retort, though, Leonard had interrupted.

"Sheldon, don't hurt yourself," he said, causing the tall brunet to baulk at him. Leonard then shifted his gaze to Penny, lowering his eyes somewhat demurely. "Penny, can I speak with you for a moment before we start the game? _Alone_?"

Penny nodded, following Leonard down the hallway into his room. She stepped inside and took a seat on the bed while he closed the door.

"Penny, I'm willing to change," he blurted, pacing nervously in front of her. "I'll watch football, I won't say 'I love you' first, I won't be clingy or jealous or too smart or not open enough or whatever else it takes to win you back."

Penny swallowed hard. She hadn't expected this. She hadn't expected him to start bargaining with her. She knew that he was desperate—desperate to not see her with Sheldon—but this was ridiculous.

"I'll buy you flowers every day. I'll pay for your acting lessons. I'll—"

"Leonard, stop," Penny interrupted sternly, rising from the bed. "We had our chance, but I'm with Sheldon now. I can't ditch him for offers and promises from you. It wouldn't be right." She stared at him levelly. "Would you have liked it if some ex of mine offered me the same things while I was dating you?"

"No."

"Well, then don't bargain with me."

"But Sheldon will never appreciate you the way I do," Leonard protested incessantly.

"Maybe, maybe not," Penny said, slowly walking towards him. "But I feel something for Sheldon, and I want to see where it will go." She smiled sadly and reached out to touch his arm. "Leonard, I still love you, but we both need to move on and just be friends. And you need to be okay with me and Sheldon. I need your blessing somewhere down the line."

Leonard gave her a withered look at her last statement but nodded slowly, his heart crushed. Penny folded him into a brief hug, and as they embraced, she turned her face away. Letting go, she squared her shoulders and stepped past him, opened his door and heading back into the living room. With each step she felt more confident and more relieved, like a tonne of weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She could do this. She could move on, and so could he. All it took was time.

Once in the living room, Penny noted that only Howard and Raj were there. Sheldon was nowhere in sight.

"Where's Sheldon?" she asked curiously, wiping her damp palms on the hips of her jeans. She hadn't noticed how nervous she had been with Leonard until just now.

"In his room," Howard answered absently, swearing as Raj beat him at whatever game they were playing.

Penny nodded and walked back down the hallway towards Sheldon's room, passing Leonard awkwardly in the tight corridor.

"We're starting up in _fifteen_!" Howard shouted, and Penny knocked once on Sheldon's door, opening it wide.

"What up, Moonpie?" she asked, seeing Sheldon sitting on the floor, browsing his comics.

This was the second time in less than ten minutes that she had seen the lanky brunet sorting though his various collectibles—first video games, now comics.

"Penny," he began through gritted teeth, not bothering to look up at her, "do _not _call me Moonpie. Only Memaw calls me that."

"Alright, Wackadoodle," she said dryly, closing the door behind her and taking a seat on the edge of his bed.

He glanced up at her now, his blue eyes narrowed. He did not reprimand her on the insulting nickname or the fact that she was in his room, sitting on his bed. Instead, he stared at her chest for a moment—the stolen t-shirt—and then looked down distractedly at his comics.

"So, was Leonard successful?"

"Pardon me?"

Sheldon looked back up. "Leonard did try to talk you out of dating me, correct?" He cocked an eyebrow curiously in the air. "I assume that he bargained with you."

"How do you know that?"

Sheldon shrugged, slipping his comics back into the organised tote. "He tried to offer me his entire comic book collection this afternoon."

Penny laughed nervously. Were those Leonard's comics that Sheldon was sifting through? Had he already made the deal?

"Did you accept?"

Sheldon balanced on his right palm and pushed himself into a standing position. "Do you see his collection in my room?"

Penny clasped her hands together in frustration, glancing around Sheldon's room, which looked like a museum for geeks.

"Honestly, I wouldn't know."

Sheldon frowned, noting her anxiety, and gingerly sat down beside her.

"No," he said softly, smoothing out his plaid pants. "I did not accept his offer, regardless of the temptation."

Penny turned to face him, her green eyes shining with hope. "Why?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

She swallowed hard. "No ..."

The corners of Sheldon's lips twitched upward into a boyish half-smile. "The prudent man is the patient man; he bides his time." He inclined his head towards hers, almost intimately close, and winked. "I will make the deal with Leonard on the chance that _our_ relationship were to ever dissolve.

"Besides, I am satisfied with my current collection and it is outlined in our roommate agreement, article 65, section 3, that upon Leonard's death—accidental, timely, or otherwise—that I will inherit all of his collectibles."

"Oh," was all that Penny could think to say.

She couldn't decide whether to be disappointed or happy. He had turned down Leonard's offer, but had he done it for her or because he knew that he would get Leonard's collectibles in the end? It really shouldn't have mattered, and Penny decided not to over-analyse it. Sheldon was who he was and he had said no, declining Leonard's bribes. He had chosen her, in his own Sheldon-esque way. She should have been grateful, and she was.

Leaning in close, Penny kissed Sheldon's cheek tenderly. "Thanks, Sheldon."

He blinked, nonplussed. "For what?"

"For being a wackadoodle."

She grinned, pinching his cheek lightly, causing him to flinch. With his head drawn back, away from her face, his gaze went back to her chest. Penny blushed, despite knowing that Sheldon wasn't checking out her breasts. At least she didn't think he was.

"Penny, take off that shirt," Sheldon demanded suddenly, causing Penny to laugh out loud.

"Someone's frisky tonight," she said in a purring voice. "Or, uhm, for the first time ever."

She turned to face him directly, their knees touching. Bringing her fingers to the hem of her borrowed shirt, she pulled it up over her head and set it down beside her on the bed. Penny then watched with unmasked amusement as Sheldon shifted nervously, his eyes hesitantly roaming over her body.

"Penny," Sheldon whispered her name almost pleadingly.

She could tell that he was trying to look away, to give her some privacy, but he could not avert his gaze. Penny smiled, feeling a sense of victory. Only _she_ could make Sheldon nervous like this—and aroused. She could see him trying to unsuccessfully cross his legs and, instead, licked nervously at his lips. His neck and ears were flushed a bright pink.

"What?" Penny asked coyly, picking up his hands and bringing them to her bra-covered breasts. "Are you going to object?"

"No," he said after a moment, his voice pitching as his fingers remained stationary on her breasts. His pupils were dilated and flickering—almost no sign of blue.

"Then c'mere, Wackadoodle."

Penny pulled him into a kiss, but his hands would not leave her breasts. Instead, Sheldon's fingers began to massage, his thumbs lightly brushing against the fabric of her bra, causing her to gasp into his mouth.

"But Halo Night," he reasoned anxiously, tearing away from her mouth for just a moment.

"We have fifteen—_thirteen—_minutes," she said, looking at his watch before pulling him back for another kiss. "Set your watch."

And he did.

**-x-**

* * *

**Author notes: **The splints are off! Praise the Lord, hallelujah! It feels _so_ good to flex my fingers. I've been told not to type with them for another week, but with the splints off, I can at least peck at the keyboard with my index finger. Ah, the use of two hands again.

Oh, and I have decided to enter the Big Bang Theory _Big Bang_ Challenge on LJ. Phew. Yes, I plan on writing a nice, big story for that, and hopefully you will all enjoy it. ^_^


	8. Part II: Chapter 8

Penny barrelled through front door to the apartment building, snagging the strap of her purse on the door handle. Jerked back, she stumbled against the tile and smacked her left shoulder against the glass pane, letting loose a string of colourful expletives.

"Son of a—"

"Penny, are you alright?" came Sheldon's confused and slightly concerned voice from behind. He was towering above her with a handful of letters held tightly in his fist.

Penny was hopelessly wrestling with her purse and the metal doorknob, trying her best to contain the tears that threatened to spill—and the hysterics that would inevitably follow. It was an uphill battle, and Penny was losing.

"No, I'm not alright!" She sniffed back angry tears as she wrenched her purse free with a loud, wet snap. The strap of her purse dangled limply in her hands. "I had an audition for a stupid anti-depressant commercial, and they said I was too perky!"

With those last words uttered, what little control Penny had on her emotions was broken. She slumped her back against the pane glass and began sliding down until her bottom hit the floor, blubbering with self-pity.

"I don't know why I'm even here, Sheldon," she said miserably, hugging her knees. "I've been in L.A. for almost four years and have never had a proper acting job.

"Instead, I have a lousy, dead-end job that _barely_ pays minimum wage, and I can't get anything better because I'm just a pathetic community college drop-out who has no career prospects in life, and—and I broke the strap on my purse!" At this, Penny raised the remnants of the leather strap eye-level for Sheldon to see and then erupted in a fresh wave of tears, cradling her face in her hands.

Perplexed and put-off by Penny's histrionics, Sheldon frowned and pursed his lips together in thought. Instead of hunkering down beside her, he gripped the letters tightly in his clammy palms and did a frantic two-step pace, trying to determine what to do or say to the blubbering blonde without causing further hysterics or inciting her ire.

"I don't even know what you see in me!" she wailed, hiccupping back tears. "I-I'm j-just a b-big f-failure!"

The sobbing was uncontrollable now, reaching new decibel levels. Anxious to remedy the situation or flee, Sheldon nervously licked his lips and took a few hesitant steps towards Penny. Awkwardly, he sat down beside her, and she turned to throw her arms around him, burying her face in his chest. Frozen, Sheldon watched as the blonde cried wretchedly into his shirt, staining it with tears and snot and God only knew what else.

"I don't know why you didn't get the part for the anti-depressant commercial," he commented with obvious candour. "You're tears are certainly very convincing."

Penny pulled back and growled. Recoiling, Sheldon expected Penny to gnash her teeth at him. Instead, she brought her hands to her head and began to tear at her hair in frustration.

"Sheldon, I'm not acting!" She angrily glanced up at him with wild hair and narrowed eyes that were already bloodshot from crying.

Sheldon cringed in fear and instinctively cupped his groin to protect it from harm. He was nervous, not knowing how to deal with an emotionally charged woman like Penny. Her volatile temper often frightened him, and he was never sure how to handle her. In the past, whenever his mother or sister was angry or upset, Sheldon would avoid confrontation by holing himself in the shed and working on projects. But there were no sheds in Pasadena for him to retreat to—not legally, at least.

"I feel like a total loser," Penny whined, the threat of a groin-punch now at a minimum. "Sometimes I just wish there was a switch—a way to go back in time and right the wrongs of the past, to make the present more bearable." She wiped her nose with the back of her hand and rested her cheek on top of her knee, looking utterly dejected. "You know, like how Marty did from _Back To The Future_."

Sheldon visibly relaxed, lowering his hands to his knees, and stared at Penny pointedly. "While quantum physics has proven that going back in time is scientifically improbable—and the use of a Delorean as a time machine demonstrably impossible—there is a grounded theory on the probability of affecting the past _in_ the present."

Penny lifted her chin and stared at Sheldon with actual interest. "Really, how so?"

"The double-slit experiment."

Penny's interested look quickly turned blank. "Huh?"

"The double-slit experiment demonstrates the inseparability of the wave and particle natures of light. For example, if you observe which one of the two slits that the light passes through, then you force it to behave like a _particle_. If you don't and only observe where it lands on the screen behind the slits, then it behaves like a _wave_."

"I'm sorry—" Penny leaned forward, knitting her brow in total bafflement "—I still don't get the point."

"Of course you don't," Sheldon said pedantically. "I haven't made it yet."

Frustrated and no longer feeling quite so sorry about herself anymore to continue crying, Penny decided to get angry instead, slapping her palms hard against her knees. "Sheldon, what's the point then?"

Sheldon did a double-take at the fury in Penny's voice but bravely continued, "If you wait for the light to pass through the slit and _observe_ which way it comes through, it will retroactively force it to have passed through one or the other. In other words, causality is working backwards: the present is affecting the past."

Penny's mouth hung ajar, her eyebrows knitted so close together that they were almost touching. "Right," she said slowly, giving Sheldon a discouraging look. "I'm glad that you dumbed that down for me, Sheldon."

"You're welcome, Penny," he said, tilting his head to the side as he smiled proudly. "You know, you could always try for another vocation if acting or 'waitressing'—" he made finger quotes in the air "—isn't satisfying."

Penny sighed and looked down at her hands, contemplating what he had just said. "But what can I do, Sheldon? The fact is that those are the only two professions I know."

"I wouldn't call waitressing a profession—or a word, really," Sheldon objected, but Penny's upturned nose and scornful look made him reconsider finishing his sentence.

Penny lowered her chin back down onto her knees and let out a shuddering sigh. How was it that Sheldon always managed to make her feel even worse? She knew that he didn't mean to be callous, but she often wondered if he even cared at all—especially since he never made the effort to reach out to her.

"Sheldon," she began, looking up at him almost pleadingly, "as my _boyfriend_, could you, you know, comfort me?"

Sheldon fidgeted and his eyes flickering with an all-too-familiar caged look. "How?"

Penny's face fell, hating the fact that she had to explain to him how to comfort her. "I dunno," she said pathetically. "Hold me and tell me that everything's gonna be okay?"

"Well, I can hold you," Sheldon said with an air of uncertainty, "but I can't possibly know or verify if everything is going to be okay."

"Sheldon, just _try_!"

The caged look intensified, and Sheldon just stared at Penny for a moment before slowly scooting over and hesitantly reaching out to put his arms around her shoulders. He tapped her arm awkwardly, smoothing his long fingers along her bare skin.

"There, there," he cooed soothingly, bringing a hand up to pet her hair. "Sheldon's here. Everything's going to be okay."

It was weird and awkward and slightly frightening, but it was something. Penny had to be grateful that he wasn't giving her the 'Kill Batman' look.

"Thanks," she said blandly, trying not to sound too sarcastic since she knew this was actual social growth for Sheldon. She couldn't expect a miracle.

Sheldon's countenance brightened considerably at her words, not detecting the sarcasm, and he decided to field another avenue of comfort and conciliation. "Would you like to kiss?" he offered with a hopeful nod, looking down at her with intense blue eyes. "That always seems to make you happy."

Penny stared at him blankly before looking away. She then slowly rose to her feet and picked up the remnants of her purse, holding it close to her chest.

"Yeah, not tonight, Sheldon," she said softly, still not meeting his gaze. "I just want to be alone right now, if that's okay."

"Of course," he said, nodding almost emphatically as he stood up. "I will be in my apartment if you need me—ready to serve tea or chocolates or whatever the social protocol dictates for such an occasion."

"Thanks, Sheldon," Penny said, offering him a thin smile.

Instead of kissing him on the cheek like she normally did, she just squeezed his arm and made her way towards the stairs, leaving a puzzled and slightly worried Sheldon behind.

**-x-**

Howard, Raj, and Leonard were seated comfortably and respectively on the sofa and chair as sounds from the television droned in the background like white noise. They chatted idly as they digested their meal, discussing their day at work. Leonard, however, was more reticent than usual. He had been downright mute the past few nights, barely contributing to any of their conversations. He had been in a particularly sulky mood—a depression, really—and no one knew how to get him out of this funk.

It was in Leonard's nature to be sensitive to rejection, but it was also in his nature to forgive and forget. He had seen Penny come and go with dates before, and while it had upset him, it had never driven him to bouts of rage and bargaining. It was pathetic, and he _knew_ that he was acting pathetically. The real problem with this scenario, though, was that Penny wasn't just dating some random guy, some random muscle-bound idiot. She was dating Sheldon, his best friend and roommate and the most geekiest, neurotic guy he knew—and he knew many neurotics.

Leonard felt betrayed, on both ends.

"Hey, buddy," Howard began conversationally, elbowing Leonard lightly in the ribs, "cheer up."

"I don't wanna," Leonard said sulkily, putting his feet up on the coffee table.

"C'mon," Howard encouraged, picking up a controller and handing it over. "Want to play Halo?"

Leonard declined and crossed his arms over his chest. "No."

"Want an Icee?" Raj offered, shaking the container in his hand.

Leonard shook his head, pouting. It was hard, but he was trying his best to slowly came to terms with Penny and Sheldon's relationship. It just took time. Right now, though, everything seemed to be unfolding like some horrible nightmare—a weird abomination on the laws of nature. While Leonard wasn't fighting with Sheldon anymore—or contemplating what blunt object would be featured at his murder trial—he wasn't quite ready to accept the idea of his best friend dating his ex-girlfriend.

"Want a semi-high-priced prostitute?" Howard asked, stirring Leonard from his musings.

"What? No!"

Howard shrugged, placing his hands on his knees. "Well, I'm out of ideas."

Raj took a sip of his Icee, contemplating. "If it would make you feel better, I could tell you about my horrible date with Bernadette's friend."

"Right," Howard said with a roll of his eyes, "the double date from hell."

Leonard lifted his chin from his chest, suddenly interested. "Why, what happened?"

The tale told was predictable enough: Raj had to get drunk in order to talk to his date. Then Howard's mother called, yelling at him because he wasn't home to help her put on her girdle for Bridge Night, and Bernadette ended up leaving early because of an accident at the lab—leaving her friend alone with Raj and Howard.

"You forgot her name!" Howard exclaimed, exasperated.

Raj lifted his arms defensively. "It was hard to remember!"

"K-I-M—_Kim_ was hard to remember? Unlike Rajesh Koothrappali?"

"Hey, at least I was smooth about it," Raj said, bristling with indignation.

"You asked her how to _spell_ her name!"

Leonard tuned in and out, nodding at the right occasion. He was still dwelling on Penny and how she had chosen someone like Sheldon over him—someone who could never truly empathise with her and who would always choose science over a relationship. Then there was Sheldon: he had been adamant that his relationship with Amy had just been one of friendship. He had never kissed Amy or hugged her or even let her spend time in his room. Yet he had kissed Penny—_kissed_ her!—and allowed her to sleep over _in his own bed_! He supposed even Dracula shared his coffin.

"And then there was the parking lot incident," Howard said, piquing Leonard's interest.

"What happened?" Leonard asked, finally drawing himself away from his own mental drama.

"She dropped her keys, and they both bent down to pick them up at the same time." Howard gave Raj a rueful grin. "As Raj came back up, she smashed her nose on the back of his head."

"Ouch!" Leonard blenched, raising his hand to his nose in sympathy pain. "Was she okay?"

Raj grimaced, shaking his head. "She bled like stuck pig."

Howard nodded in affirmation, smiling thinly. "Their date ended in the emergency room."

"I am hopeful that there will be a second date," Raj said with a sanguine look on his face, causing Howard to shake his head in disbelief.

Leonard, who was slightly amused but still in a depressed funk, sank back in his seat and frowned. "Guys, how exactly was this supposed to cheer me up?"

Raj shrugged. "Misery loves company, dude."

Leonard pursed his lips together and nodded. "You're right." He smiled for the first time in days. "I do feel a bit better, thanks."

Just then, Penny entered the apartment, closing the door behind her. She looked upset.

"Hey, guys," she said distractedly, waving to them all but failing to meet Leonard's eyes.

Howard greeted her with a curt hello while Leonard's hello was a bit more quiet and subdued. Raj merely smiled and waved. Penny then glanced around the living room and peered into the kitchen before turning her attention back to the boys.

"Is Sheldon around?"

They all nodded.

"Yeah, he's in his room on the phone with Amy, I think," Howard said nonchalantly, but then furtively glanced over at Leonard to note the look on his face. He was frowning thoughtfully.

Penny's face had registered with slight shock at the news. "Amy?" She blinked. "Cool, okay," she said somewhat unconvincingly, as she wrung her hands and decided on whether or not to go see Sheldon. After a moment, she had made her decision and determinedly took off down the hallway. "I'll see you guys later."

"Okay ..."

As the boys watched her go in silence, Penny made her way to Sheldon's room, knocking on the door only once before opening it wide. "Sheldon?"

Sheldon was sitting on his bed searching for something on his cellphone. Looking for what, she did not know. He glanced up at her almost reproachfully as she entered his room, and he quickly clicked off his phone.

"May I help you, Penny?"

Penny stood in the threshold, fidgeting with the doorknob for a moment before pointing at his cellphone. "Who were you on the phone with?"

Sheldon blinked once and then looked down at the phone in his hand. "Amy Farrah Fowler," he answered simply, and then cocked his head to the side.

"Neat," Penny said, sounding far from amused, and stepped inside. She closed the door behind her and forced a thin smile on her face. "So, what were you two talking about?"

"Work."

Penny worried her bottom lip with her teeth and shifted on her feet. "Work, really?" she asked, unconvinced. "You two don't work together, though."

Sheldon nodded, placing his cellphone down on his nightstand. "We like to have desultory conversations about our work day," he answered dryly, and then looked up at Penny with a slight frown forming on his lips. "Can I help you with something, Penny? Did you come over for tea?"

Penny shook her head and slowly approached his bed. "No, I just ..." She paused, sitting down beside him. "Can I stay over here tonight?"

"Is there something wrong with your apartment?" He gave her a brief look of concern.

"No, I just don't feel like sleeping alone tonight," she admitted truthfully, casting Sheldon a sidelong glance.

"Alone?" Sheldon's brow furrowed for a moment before he understood her implications. "Oh, you want to share a bed?"

"Yes."

Licking his bottom lip, Sheldon gazed rather apprehensively at Penny with his deep blue eyes. "Just to clarify: you want to sleep in _my_ bed and not Leonard's, correct?"

"Correct." She grinned and placed a hand on his knee. "I want to sleep with _you_."

Sheldon flinched for just a second, staring nervously at her hand on his knee. He licked his lips once more and then raised his eyes to meet hers. "Just sleeping, not coitus," he affirmed in a whisper, causing Penny to bite the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from laughing out loud.

"No coitus," she promised sincerely, removing her hand from his knee.

Sheldon relaxed and gave Penny a shy, boyish smile. "Then, of course you may stay over, Penny."

"Thank you, Sheldon." She kissed him on the cheek, which caused him to blush, but he did not draw away. Thankfully.

"You're welcome," he said. "However, just so that you know, I use the bathroom from seven to seven-twenty-five. Plan your bodily functions accordingly."

Penny rolled her eyes and stood up, taking off her hoodie. "I'm happy to spend time alone with you too, Sheldon."

"What I just said had nothing to do with—"

"Sheldon, just—"

Penny suddenly broke down crying, sitting back down on the bed with the sleeve of her hoodie dangling off an arm. Sheldon watched the waterworks display with growing trepidation before reluctantly reaching out to pat her on the back. She immediately folded into his arms and buried her face in his chest, sobbing loudly.

"Oh, no, don't cry again," he pleaded, switching to rubbing her back instead of patting it. "I don't know what to do when you cry. I'm really not very good at comforting people." Then an idea came to mind and he dropped his hand, sounding excited. "Tea. I can make you some tea. It is the social protocol, and I know how to steep tea."

Penny was far from placated by the idea of being served tea, and her sobs not only increased in duration but volume. "Sheldon, what am I to do?" she wailed, leaning into the tall man. "I can't spend my whole life being a waitress or constantly being rejected at auditions."

Undoubtedly uncomfortable with the blonde blubbering at his side, Sheldon tried his best and brought his arm back up around her shoulder, holding her near, which seemed to only make Penny cry harder.

"Have you ever considered doing something different?" Sheldon asked tentatively, feeling completely out of his element. "Something to distract yourself so that you can come back later to look at you career with a whole new perspective?"

Penny pulled her face away from his chest and sniffed. "What do you mean?"

"As you know, physics my alma mater," he stated primly, giving her a knowing look. "However, spending every waking moment dedicated to science doesn't always allow me to see the world around me or what I do from a different perspective." His eyes were focussed on hers now, staring so intently that he seemed to be trying to relay his message through sheer force of will alone. "Penny, sometimes you need to take a step back and try something different to remind yourself of what you love and why you do it."

Penny's bottom lip trembled. "But, Sheldon, the fact is that I have nothing else to fall back on—not like you do. I can't reflect on my career choice as an actress if I have no experiences—if all I've ever done is waitress."

She went to bury her face back in his chest and sob pathetically once more when Sheldon did something unexpected. He reached out with his long fingers and placed them underneath her chin, lifting her face so that her eyes met his.

"Penny, sometimes you have to take chances." He smiled softly, knowingly. "To paraphrase Albert Einstein: if the facts don't fit the theory, then just change the facts."

Penny blinked back tears. "What does that mean?"

"Penny, I can't dumb it down much more than—" He stopped his sentence short when he saw the tears begin to brim in her green eyes. "It means that sometimes you need to step out of your comfort zone and try something new, something you might even be afraid to do."

Penny glanced down for a moment, but then felt Sheldon's fingers pushing her chin back up.

"But how do I know that will work?" she asked meekly, afraid. "How do I know that I won't fail?"

Sheldon's smile softened. "You don't know, Penny," he stated simply, letting go of her chin, "and you won't know unless you try."

A few more tears leaked out, but Penny found herself smiling this time. Sheldon was right, and he was a perfect testament to his own statement. Penny had got Sheldon to step out of his comfort zone and now he was kissing her and comforting her and allowing her to sleep in his own bed with him. If Sheldon was brave enough to deviate from his norm and try something new, then so could she. She could change the facts to fit her theory.

"Thank you, sweetie," she whispered sincerely, before kissing Sheldon softly on the lips.

**-x-**

Penny had gone to sleep not long after her discussion with Sheldon; she had been exhausted from crying and worrying herself sick. Sheldon had helped her into bed and even laid with her for a while before she fell soundly asleep. Penny wasn't sure how much time had passed before she finally woke to the sound of muffled voices coming from outside.

Folding back the sheets, Penny rose to her feet and walked over to the door, pressing her ear against the cool surface. She could hear a low voice and a slightly higher one, and she wondered if Sheldon and Leonard were talking in the living room. Neither voice sounded upset, and one was definitely softer than the other.

Female?

Penny opened the door and poked her head outside, glancing to the left where Leonard's room was. It was closed, but the light was on. Frowning, Penny could hear hushed voices coming from the living room, and she ventured her way down the hall.

"I'm just not sure what to do or say without hurting her," came Sheldon's voice. "She is a very sensitive woman."

"You are right," answered a familiar female voice. "This is quite the quandary that you have placed yourself in, but I think I might have a solution."

Penny peeked around the corner, seeing Sheldon sitting at his desk. He was having a Skype conversation, and the person on the screen was all too familiar to Penny.

"I knew that I could count on you to help me resolve this issue, Amy Farrah Fowler," Sheldon said happily, smiling at the bespectacled brunette. "I honestly did not know what I was getting myself into."

"That much is obvious."

"Now, now," Sheldon tsked. "There is no need to be crass."

"Sorry," came Amy's flat voice. "It's late, and I'm cranky."

Sheldon nodded. "That's understandable," he said in a consolatory manner. "You know that I wouldn't have called you if it wasn't important."

"It was right for you to come to me," Amy said in an authoritative manner, and then curiously tilted her head to the side. "What are you going to tell Penny?"

Sheldon seemed to tense at the mention of her name. "Nothing right now," he said determinedly. "We'll see how things go with you first."

Amy nodded. "That seems satisfactory."

Sheldon relaxed his shoulders, relieved. "So, how's your research going?" he asked conversationally.

"Three out of five monkeys committed suicide," she commented casually. "I think it's going well."

"Excellent."

Penny brought her hand to her mouth and stifled a cry. What couldn't Sheldon say to her without hurting her feelings? Why was he talking about her with Amy and what solution were they working on together? And since when did Sheldon keep secrets?

**-x-**


	9. Part II: Chapter 9

The sounds of early morning traffic and the heat of the sunlight streaming in from the window gently roused Penny from a deep and restful slumber. Stretching with a feline grace, Penny turned over onto her side and slid her hands underneath her cheek. Opening her eyes, she came face-to-face with Sheldon's clear cobalt blue eyes focussing on her rather intently.

"Good morning, sweetie," she said sleepily, covering her mouth as she yawned before offering her boyfriend a warm smile.

Sheldon did not return her smile. Instead, he continued to stare at her unblinkingly. The centre of her brow was wrinkled in a manner that Penny generally considered cute, but right now it only caused her hesitation and worry.

"What? What's wrong?"

Sheldon inhaled through his nose, nostrils flaring. "You, Penny," he began seriously, "are a covers hog."

Penny blinked, nonplussed. "A covers hog?"

"Yes. It was a constant tug-of-war battle all night long." He pulled the sheets away from her, as though they were proof of her criminal act. "I only managed to cover one half of my body the entire night."

His bottom lip had jutted out in a pout, which caused Penny to snort. His look of exasperation increased in intensity, and Penny brought a hand to her mouth to stifle her laughter. Composing herself as best as she could, she drew her hand away and offered Sheldon a faux frown of concern.

"My poor wackadoodle," she cooed, reaching out to stroke his cheek. "Just be glad that you were wearing pyjama bottoms this time or the bright side of your ass would have been frozen."

Sheldon flinched at her words and drew back, shaking his head in a rueful manner. "How crass."

"Oh, c'mon," Penny teased, giggling as she pulled Sheldon towards her, "let's see how frozen that bum is."

She leaned over and smacked his butt twice, which elicited a frightened yelp from his lips, followed by a frenzied laugh as she began to mercilessly tickle his sides.

"Penny! Stop it! Don't! No!"

Sheldon thrashed about in the bed, sending sheets and pillows flying. With a concerted effort, he finally managed to overpower Penny, flipping her over onto her back. Straddling her waist, Sheldon hoisted the blonde's arms above her head, effectively pinning her. His ice cold eyes flashed dangerously and he breathed heavily, growling deeply in his throat.

"Woman, you are dealing with forces beyond your own k—"

Penny quickly cut Sheldon's words off with her lips, raising her hips and chest off the mattress in order to meet his mouth with hers. At first, Sheldon was almost too startled to react—his eyes wide and unblinking—but after the appropriate pressure was applied, the act registered in his mind completely and he closed his eyes, deepening the kiss. Releasing Penny's hands, Sheldon delved his own into her hair, gripping the fine-blonde hairs and tugging.

Penny brought her own fingers to Sheldon's hair, scraping her nails along his scalp as she clutched at the short, dark hairs. His weight on top of her was comfortable and enticing, and she kept raising her hips to meet his. But Sheldon weighed more than she did and was surprisingly much stronger than her, too. He effortlessly forced her hips back down and pinned her to the mattress, ensuring that she couldn't assuage her need by rubbing against his length. So, mustering what strength she had and using the element of surprise, Penny was able to thrust upwards and flip Sheldon over onto his back. She straddled him with ease and rubbed her lower torso agonisingly slow along his before assailing his mouth with hers.

Sheldon's hands slipped underneath her shirt and travelled up the bare skin of her back. She shivered at his strong yet delicate touch; his fingers feathered over her sides and then massaged the muscles in her upper back. When his fingers tickled down to the sides of her breasts, Penny sucked in a shuddering gasp of air and held her breath. She could feel the hot indent of each finger on her breasts—long fingers that threatened to explore further, and she wanted him to.

Noting that Penny was holding her breath, Sheldon pulled away and slipped his hands out from underneath her shirt.

"Are you okay?" he asked breathlessly, licking his lips in a nervous and slightly mortified fashion, as though realising that he had kissed her and neither of them had yet brushed their teeth.

"I'm great," Penny answered with a lazy smile, although she tried her best not to breathe on him. She swivelled off his hips and lay down beside him, curling into his side. "That's certainly a fun way to wake up in the morning."

Sheldon grunted as he tried to sit up. "Says _you_."

Penny stared at him unconvincingly and then grabbed his hand, placing it on her breast while she reached up to kiss his lips. She smirked into his mouth as he began to involuntarily massage her breast while returning her kiss, his tongue hesitantly darting past her lips. Sensing her smirk, Sheldon drew back and tilted his chin to look down at her, scowling disapprovingly. He did not, however, remove his hand. Instead, he looked down at it in wonder for a moment before lowering his hand and sitting upright.

"Penny, are you wearing my Flash t-shirt?" His tone was more accusatory than questioning.

"Maybe," she answered tentatively, drawing the first syllable with a cheeky grin. "What, you don't like it on me?"

She blinked innocently at him, almost coquettishly, as she sat back so that he could admire the view of the lightning bolt stretched out across her chest. His eyes went down to her breasts and lingered there for a few seconds before they returned to her eyes, sharp and calculating.

"Penny," Sheldon began, slipping into his Texan drawl, "while you undoubtedly look attractive in almost anything that you wear, you really must stop wearing _my_ shirts."

Penny jutted out her lower lip in a spectacular pout. "But the whole point of me wearing them is that they're _yours_, Sheldon."

She brought a hand to his chest and began to caress. Leaning in close, she nipped at his jaw, travelling her lips up towards his ear. Sheldon wrinkled his nose in distaste, seemingly unaffected by Penny's attempt at seduction—that is until she reached his ear. Tickled at first, he pulled away and put a large hand on her shoulder, gently pushing her away so that there could be no more distractions.

"Yes, but they won't fit _me_ much longer if you keep wearing them," he chastised, his blue eyes glinting in the morning sun. "You'll stretch them across the chest with your, uh ..."

"Breasts?" Penny offered with a grin.

Sheldon nodded shyly. "Yes."

"But I like wearing them," she declared, running her fingers along the fabric.

Sheldon watched her fingers, mesmerised, and then abruptly shook his head. Carefully folding back the sheets, he slid out of bed and grabbed his housecoat off the back of the door.

"How about I buy you some shirts down at the comic book store?" He slipped his arms into the sleeves of the flannel coat. "Ones that will fit you."

"That's not really the point," Penny said, pouting once more. "Can I at least keep _one_ of your shirts?"

"No."

"Then I will continue to be the wily and elusive shirt thief," she countered, giving Sheldon a haughty look.

Sheldon shook his head and tightly cinched his belt. "How cute, kitten."

Springing to her feet, Penny raised her hands and began to skip over to where Sheldon stood, grinning like a Cheshire cat. Sheldon was rooted to the spot, not knowing what she was about to do next until her hands slipped inside his housecoat and hooked around his waist. Instantly relaxing, he returned the hug and rested his chin on top of her head. Penny sighed happily, smelling his chest, and then lifted her chin to glance up into his eyes and smiled brightly. She delivered a quick kiss to his lips before withdrawing her arms from his waist and taking a step back.

"I'm going to make us some breakfast while you're in the shower," she announced, looking over her shoulder at the tall brunet. "It's french toast day, right?"

Sheldon smiled, impressed. "Yes, it is."

Penny gave Sheldon a playful wink and then slipped out the door, making her way to the kitchen. Turning on the radio, she danced to the music as she made breakfast. She was having such a good morning that she had totally forgot about the Skype incident last night. Instead of dwelling, Penny could only think about how sweet Sheldon was, even when he was sulking and demanding.

Cooking away and loudly singing to herself, Penny didn't even notice that Leonard had walked into the kitchen. His hair was dishevelled and he was blinking sleepily as he adjusted his glasses, taking in the sight of Penny dancing in Sheldon's t-shirt.

"Hey," he greeted quietly, and Penny jumped back, shocked at Leonard's sudden appearance.

"Hey!" She clutched at her chest and issued him a nervous smile. "Want some coffee?" She pointed to the coffee maker.

"Sure," Leonard said, smiling faintly as Penny poured him a cup and handed it to him. "Thank you."

Penny returned his smiled and went back to the stove, humming away as Leonard took a seat at the island counter.

"I'm making french toast," she said with an upward inflection, glancing over her shoulder at Leonard. "Did you want some?"

"Oh, hey, it's french toast day—isn't it?" Leonard gave Penny a whimsical half-smile, causing Penny's grin to widen. "I'd love some."

Flipping two pieces of the heart-attack-inducing pastries onto a plate, Penny set it down in front of Leonard, along with a fork and knife. Leonard thanked her and went over to the refrigerator to grab the bottle of maple syrup and milk.

"So, how have you been?" Penny asked, placing more bread on the frying pan.

"Not too bad," he answered absently, pouring milk into his coffee, "besides the near stroke I had when I found out that you and Sheldon were dating."

Penny grinned sheepishly and licked at her fingers as she brought her own plate over to the island counter and sat opposite to Leonard.

"Yeah, I remember that," she said, reaching over to grab the bottle of syrup and pouring it on top.

Leonard sliced his knife through the toast and shovelled a forkful of syrupy goodness into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. Swallowing, he took a sip of his coffee and complimented Penny on her cooking. Pleased, Penny blushed and thanked him, which only caused Leonard to frown.

"Penny, I've been a sulking douche these past few weeks," he admitted guiltily.

"Really?" Penny's eyebrows almost disappeared into her hairline. "I hadn't noticed." She glanced at him through her lashes before digging into her breakfast. "You don't seem like a sulking douche right now."

Leonard grinned appreciatively, taking another sip of his coffee. "I think I'm beyond the sulking douche phase and am currently fluctuating between the stages of depression and denial."

Penny nodded, and then gave him a sceptical look. "So, are you in denial right now?"

Leonard shook his head. "Not with you standing in the kitchen wearing nothing but Sheldon's Flash t-shirt." He pointed at her attire with his fork and gave her a look that seemed part grin, part grimace.

Penny visibly blushed under his gaze and seemed to sink down into her stool. "Maybe you're in the acceptance phase now."

"Yeah—no."

Penny snorted at this, and then both she and Leonard shared a smile. Raising her coffee mug to her lips, Penny took a sip and licked the syrup off her lips.

"How's work going?"

"Subtle change of topic," Leonard said with a mouthful of french toast, "but I'll play along." He swallowed his breakfast and then washed it down with coffee. "Work's fine. I'm currently replicating the Pound-Rebka experiment, which was used to test Albert Einstein's theory of relativity."

Penny furrowed her brow in contemplation, only registering certain words spoken. "So ... you're replicating another replication of someone else's experiment?" In her mind, those series of words had made sense. Out loud, however, was an entirely different matter.

"Not exactly," Leonard answered, tilting his head to the side. "I'm replicating someone else's experiment on someone else's _theory_."

Penny clucked her tongue along the inside of her cheek and nodded. "Thanks for the clarification."

"Yeah, it's not that exciting," he agreed, pursing his lips. "However, I am also examining the radiation levels of photomultiplier tubes for a new dark matter detector."

Penny just stared at Leonard blankly now. There was only so much science geek talk that she could handle in one morning, and Sheldon was usually more than enough—much more than enough.

"Uh, Raj and I have been asked to help work on implementing the James Webb Space Telescope," Leonard added with an upward inflection, a proud half-smile gracing his lips. "It's the successor to the Hubble Telescope."

Penny's countenance immediately brightened with interest. "That's cool!" she exclaimed excitedly. "Is the Hubble Telescope broken?"

Now it was Leonard's turn to stare at Penny blankly before looking away. "No, uh—never mind." He cleared his throat uncomfortably before setting down his fork and knife and giving Penny his undivided attention. "So, how's work going for you? Any auditions?"

Penny's smile faltered. "There were some, but they didn't go too well."

Her confession was followed by an awkward silence, which was interrupted by the sound of the shower shutting off. Roused them from their musings, the two exchanged strained smiles. Leonard could tell that Penny did not wish to discuss the auditions, so instead of sitting around and forcing small talk, he rose to his feet and excused himself.

"Well, I had better get ready," he said, smiling fondly at the blonde as he pointed to his empty plate. "Thanks for the french toast."

The smile, however small, had returned to Penny's lips, and she nodded thankfully. "You're welcome, Leonard."

As Leonard went to leave, he glanced back at Penny and stared at her intently.

"What?"

"You look really great in that shirt," he said, causing Penny to blush. "But you might want to get your own shirt, or Sheldon's going to blow a gasket when he goes to put it on and finds that it's a bit loose in the—" he made several haphazard horizontal slashes across his chest "—chest."

Penny observed Leonard's pantomiming with sharp green eyes and then bunched up her napkin and threw it at him. "Oh, shut up!"

Leonard laughed, easily dodging the projectile, and waved. "See you later."

"Yeah, see ya."

After finishing her breakfast and washing hers and Leonard's dishes, Penny considered heading back to her apartment to change, but her keys were in Sheldon's room. Sheldon was inside changing, and she highly doubted that he'd allow her to see him naked. So she decided to wait, putting Sheldon's french toast in the microwave to keep it warm.

Bored, Penny decided to watch television while she waited. However, once she began to make her way over to the sofa, the light on Sheldon's laptop blinked, capturing her attention. Frowning, she approached his desk with some trepidation, keeping her eye trained on the hallway in case Sheldon came out of his room. She knew that it was wrong for her to be snooping around his things, but she couldn't help it. Curiosity killed the cat. And, it wasn't like she was going to hack into his computer: she didn't have the capability to do as such anyway.

She was about to open the lid to his laptop when she noticed a notebook peeking out from underneath. Pulling it out gently so that the computer didn't drop onto the floor, Penny opened the cover and began to leaf through the pages filled with both neat and messy cursive, until she came to the latest entry, which read as such:

№ **5**

**A = – ΔG ≈ A = ─ (∂G / ∂ξ) P,T **

**P(L|A) **║ **Sh + Pe = L **↔ **A + ∂G = L **

→ **Both **_**A**_** & **_**L**_** are incalculable at this point in time. Further research is required.**

№ **6**

**Pe(H) ≡ AC**

**Pe(H) = Sh(H)**

→ **But how do I achieve an AC for Pe to = H? Must call Amy!**

Penny had no idea what those equations were, and before she could think about stealing the notebook in order to ask someone like Bernadette what they meant, the sound of Sheldon's door opening prevented her. Quickly closing the notebook and sliding it back under the laptop, Penny walked back over to the kitchen to grab Sheldon's breakfast before he could enter the room. Feigning a smile, she walked up to him and greeted him with a kiss. She then handed him his french toast, which he took with thanks and immediately made his way to his spot on the sofa to happily dig into his breakfast.

"I heard you talking to Amy last night," Penny said conversationally, hoping that she sounded casual. She figured that she could get the information out of Sheldon if she asked the right questions instead of outright accusing him of doing something wrong, like cheating.

"You did?"

"Mhm," she hummed, taking the seat on the chair next to the sofa. "We're you two talking about me?"

Sheldon's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "No. What makes you think that?"

"I dunno." She shrugged nonchalantly. "You both have me in common, right?"

Sheldon considered this. "As a friend, yes, but Amy and I also have other things in common."

"Right," Penny agreed, swallowing hard. Her throat felt constricted and dry, like sandpaper. "That you do."

"I had a problem," Sheldon stated simply, holding up his plate as he sat more comfortably in his seat, "and I went to Amy for advice."

Unconvinced, Penny sat lotus in the chair and tried her best not to flip out. Aside from her dramatics yesterday, she had been feeling especially emotional the last few days. As Sheldon would have phrased it: she was fourteen days too early. (God, she was actually utilising Sheldon's awful PMS humour.)

"Was it a science-type problem?" she asked after a moment, causing Sheldon to turn his head to regard her with genuine puzzlement.

"Science-type problem?" he parroted, his fork hovering just above his plate.

Penny shrugged. "You know, did it require equations and stuff?"

"No."

"Oh."

"Why do you ask?"

Penny fidgeted. "Well, I figured you'd go to Amy or Leonard for physics-type questions but for other stuff—" she pointed at herself "—you could, you know, ask me."

Sheldon set down his plate and turned to look at Penny directly. "First of all, I would never go to Amy or Leonard for—" he made quotation marks with his fingers "—'physics-type' questions. They couldn't tell me what I don't already know."

"And second?"

"Second," he said almost snidely, "other stuff is a broad term. I wouldn't come to you concerning questions about, say, my bowel movements or comic books or engineering or mathematics or—"

"Okay, okay, I get it," she said, raising her hand. "You wouldn't come to me for brainy or geeky stuff or ... bodily function stuff—thanks for that, by the way—but what about relationship stuff?"

Sheldon seemed to consider this for a moment before nodding. "I suppose I would come to you about that kinda 'stuff'."

Penny tilted her head to the side. "You _suppose_?"

"Yes." Sheldon resumed his meal.

"Alrighty then."

Penny sat with Sheldon for a minute, watching him eat, before returning to his room to retrieve her keys. She shouldn't have been worried—this was Sheldon, after all. So he kind of fibbed to her about his talk with Amy. Maybe she had heard it wrong. She had just woken up and walked into the middle of a conversation. And so what that Sheldon had written a bunch of crazy equations on a semi-hidden notebook that made absolutely no sense to her? If he had grievances with her, he would tell her—wouldn't he? Sheldon wasn't the type to keep his qualms to himself and he was certainly quite verbal when it came to expressing his displeasure. She shouldn't have been worried at all, but she was.

She was ...

**-x-**

Almost a week had passed with two auditions and no calls back. Penny had given up two of her busiest shifts at the Cheesecake Factory and lost out not only on pay but on the generous tips that she would have received for those two days' work. Worse than that, her boss couldn't offer her the hours to make up for it. As a result, for the past few days Penny had become sullen and, well, bitchy—taking all her anger out on anyone who dared try to comfort her. And, like clockwork, Aunt Flow had arrived for her monthly visit, and Penny had to begrudgingly laugh at how it coincided with one of her worst weeks in a long time. It also didn't help that Sheldon was barely around. At first, Penny was glad because she knew that he would say something to make her snap. But after a few days she had started to grow worried and upset.

It had been small things that had got to her at first: Sheldon making a big fuss about coming over to watch a movie with her, telling her that he was going to be at work late all week, bugging her about his t-shirts. They were little things that added up. At the same time he was acting suspicious, like buying her presents. This was suspicious for several reasons: one, Sheldon didn't buy someone a present without a reason; two, the last time Penny dated a man who acted secretively and bought her presents was cheating on her.

The problem with this scenario was that Penny wasn't someone who was generally labelled as the jealous type. In fact, her trusting nature often led her to be used by the men she dated. It wasn't until after the fact, when the boyfriend in question had cheated on her, that Penny felt any anger or betrayal. Before then she never suspected that something duplicitous was going on behind her back, and she certainly would have never suspected that someone like Sheldon would cheat on her. Besides, she had not proof that he was—just some weird writings and strange phone and video conversations. So, why was she still worrying herself over the Skype call with Amy from last week?

Amy was her friend, and Sheldon had broken up with her over his conflicted feelings for Penny—or so he said. It was ridiculous for her to think that he was cheating on her. However, he had kissed Penny while he was dating Amy, so could he be doing the same thing with someone else—right? Maybe Sheldon had come to his senses and realised that dating Penny was a mistake: she wasn't smart enough or successful enough. Maybe he didn't want her anymore ...

It was with these thoughts troubling Penny's mind that Sheldon and the boys walked into the Cheesecake Factory, on schedule. It was a normal Tuesday, a normal day as any, but Penny could not bring herself to serve their table. She did not have the patience to deal with Sheldon right now and, to be quite frank, in the current mood she was in she was likely to snap at him the moment he opened his mouth. Luckily Bernadette was working with her so she was able to convince the petite blonde to cover Sheldon's table for her.

Sheldon, unfortunately, was entirely put off by being served by Bernadette instead of Penny and he made it a point to complain loudly throughout the entire meal. After being served their meal, the boys could no longer stand his insistent whining.

"Dude, what did you do to piss her off?" Raj asked a disgruntled Sheldon.

"I have no clue," he admitted honestly, his anger having finally ebbed away.

Raj, however, was unconvinced of Sheldon's innocence. "Did you try to take another survey of her menstrual cycle?"

"No, she punched me in the throat the last time I tried to do that."

Howard smirked. "I thought she only punched you in the throat if you knocked on her door before eleven in the morning."

"No, she threatens violence for several different occasions," Sheldon informed Howard absently, trying to peer around Leonard to get a good look at Penny. "She does seem to have a predilection for throat-punching."

"A penchant, you say?" Howard asked cheekily over the rim of his glass, casting Leonard a conspiratorial grin.

"Yeah," Leonard snorted. "She has a _panache_ for it, too."

Sheldon merely scowled at Leonard and Howard's antics before digging into his cheeseburger. After a while of watching Penny purposely avoid their table, Leonard decided to broach the subject again, seeing the obvious toll that it was taking on Sheldon's sanity.

"You did _something_ to piss her off, Sheldon," he accused, wiping at his mouth with his napkin. "Did you make her return all your shirts?"

Sheldon immediately set down his burger and stared pointedly at Leonard. "She has more than _one_?"

Leonard opened his mouth to reply but decided not to. Instead, he raised his hand and brought it to the back of his head, rubbing thoughtfully. Sheldon, however, ignored Leonard and watched Penny serve another table with a deep frown set on his pale face.

"I bought her some new t-shirts from the comic book store the other day," Sheldon mumbled, still following Penny's movements with his eyes. "She didn't seem appreciative."

"We're they inappropriate?" Howard asked, eyebrows raised and fingers tented. "I've discovered that women don't like certain words or phrases written on their clothing."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "Would those be demeaning words, Howard?"

"Maybe."

"Yeah, well, I don't want to hear your examples," he said, turning his attention back towards Sheldon, "and I doubt that Sheldon bought her anything with derogatory words written in glitter across the chest."

"Glitter makes everything better," Raj added randomly with a raised glass, smiling dreamily.

All three boys turned to stare at Raj unwaveringly before the astrophysicist lowered his eyes in embarrassment.

"Is there anything else?" Leonard asked Sheldon, hoping to jog his eidetic memory.

Sheldon thought on this for a moment and then put a finger to his lips. "She did want me to stay over last night."

"And?"

"You've seen her apartment, Leonard," Sheldon said with disgust laced in his voice. "I couldn't sleep comfortably in _that_ mess."

"Did you invite her to stay over at your place?" Raj countered, leaning forward in anticipation.

Sheldon shook his head, seeming puzzled by the question. "No."

"Why not?"

"One—" Sheldon raised a finger for emphasis "—Penny invites _herself_ over; two, I had to leave early because I had a meeting with Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Dude!" Raj exclaimed loudly, while Leonard and Howard slapped their foreheads in collective frustration.

"What?"

"Sheldon, you don't ditch your current girlfriend for your _ex_-girlfriend," Leonard explained.

Both Raj and Howard nodded in agreement, as if they were experts in relationships. But at least they had more sense than Sheldon.

"She wasn't my girlfriend!" Sheldon contested vehemently, his right eye twitching.

Leonard set down his napkin. "Whatever, Sheldon. You don't ditch your girlfriend for any girl."

"What about Memaw?"

"Were you meeting with your memaw, Sheldon?"

"No."

"Then that doesn't apply here, now does it?"

"No need to get snippy," Sheldon said sulkily.

"Sheldon," Leonard began, mustering as much patience as he could, "you need to be more attentive with Penny and act like her _boyfriend_, and not just some boy who happens to be her friend."

Sheldon worked his mouth stubbornly, but did not retort. Instead, he seemed to be taking in Leonard's advice with a grain of salt. "Are you suggesting that we engage in coitus?"

"No! Oh God, no!" Leonard violently shook his head, placing both hands on the table. "I'm just suggesting that you try to be more romantic, like take Penny out for dinner or something ..." He paused, considering Sheldon's limited social options. "Or invite Penny to stay over instead of her having to invite herself."

"But she comes over for dinner all the time," Sheldon reasoned simply, and Leonard sighed.

"Just take her out, Sheldon."

"Okay," he finally relented, picking up his glass of soda. "But she will not be receiving any coitus." He gave Leonard a look that brooked no reproach, which caused Leonard to roll his eyes.

"I'm sure she'll be happy to hear that, Sheldon," Leonard said with a smile, and then added quietly, with a mumble, "I know I am."

**-x-**

* * *

**Author notes:** Yes, so I had originally planned to have only five chapters for Part Two, but chapter nine turned out to be a bit too long (over 10K). So, I decided to split it into two chapters. Since the second part is already written, I should have it posted by the end of the week (I just want to clean up a few things). Hope you enjoy. ^_^

As for Sheldon's equations, I will suss those out for you in the author's notes in the next chapter, so stay tuned.


	10. Part II: Chapter 10

It was an Anything Can Happen Thursday, which for the boys meant that they dared to venture outside their established routine. Normally, this didn't involve anything wild—just eating different foods and watching non-regularly scheduled programmes. It was their version of walking on the wild side. Penny, too, was doing something outside her comfort zone: she was going out on an actual date with Sheldon—in public.

He had asked her out last night, after she had got home from work—the same night that she had ignored him at the Cheesecake Factory. Sheldon had told her that Leonard had informed him that he needed to treat her more like a girlfriend than a friend—to take her out for dinner and be out in public with her. It was a start.

Penny had agreed, mainly because he had been honest about why he was asking her out, but also because he had given her another gift: a temporary loan of one of his older Flash t-shirts. She had been flattered, even a little flabbergasted, that he was lending it to her. He had made it a point to declare that it wasn't hers to keep indefinitely, but the fact that he had given her something precious of his—albeit an old shirt—meant a lot to Penny. It indicated that Sheldon, too, was willing to step out of his comfort zone and connect with her on a more intimate level. It was progress. However, there was no progress in regards to Sheldon's driving abilities, because it was Penny who was driving them to the restaurant of Sheldon's choice.

At least he was paying.

"How was your day?" Sheldon asked conversationally, digging into his sausage, mushroom, and olive-topped pizza.

"You want to try to engage in small talk again, sweetie?" she asked with a grin, wiping at her mouth with a napkin.

"Social protocol dictates desultory conversation at the dinner table," he replied mechanically, and then nodded his head in encouragement. "How was your day?"

Penny took a sip of her water and smiled. She was willing to play this game again, but she wasn't going to let herself be interrupted with Sheldon informing her that she was boring. Instead, she was going to knock it up a notch and make things a little interesting.

"Well, I had a table of three guys who skipped out on their cheque," she remarked casually, picking up her slice of pizza, "so I raced them down the street and tackled them."

Sheldon stopped chewing. "Really?" he asked, his curiosity genuinely piqued. "Is that restaurant policy?"

"Mhm." Penny nodded with a mouthful of pizza. "The owner promotes vigilantism when it comes to skipping out on the cheque."

"Fascinating," Sheldon stated, cocking an eyebrow quizzically in the air. "That explains why you were so grumpy when I came into the restaurant the other night." He picked up his slice of pizza. "Did you manage to get your money from those delinquents?"

Penny nodded emphatically. "Yup." She swallowed her food and wiped at her mouth. "I hog-tied all three in under five minutes and forced them to pay the bill."

Sheldon blinked rapidly, appraising Penny with deep blue eyes. "You carry rope with you?"

"Yeah, it's mandatory." She shrugged nonchalantly, trying her best to keep a straight face. "I keep it in my waitressing tool belt."

"Remarkable," Sheldon said, looking somewhat star-struck. "Penny, I have to confess that I am quite impressed with your vigilante feat, as well as providing an interesting dinner discussion." He gave her an appreciative look. "You would make for an excellent Bat Girl."

Penny blushed. "Why thank you, Sheldon."

"You should tell stories like this more often," he added with a smile and nod. "They're much more entertaining than the ones you normally tell."

Penny snorted. "I'll keep that in mind."

The two continued to eat in silence, which was uniformly broken by the waiter, who asked them if they needed anything else. Stopping Sheldon before he could say something rude, Penny shook her head and smiled politely at their waiter, telling him that they were fine. She then picked up her glass of water and took a sip.

"So, how's work?" she asked, setting down her glass.

"Work is work," Sheldon answered dryly, giving her a pointed look. "I'm trying to prove String theory."

"Right." She rolled her eyes. How stupid of her to try to engage in idle chit-chat with Sheldon. "So, tell me then, Sheldon—" she licked her lips "—what is String theory?"

Sheldon set his pizza slice down on his plate and regarded Penny with unmasked scepticism. Furrowing his brow in deep thought, he considered whether she was being serious or not. After she gave him an encouraging shrug of her shoulders, he concluded that she wasn't being facetious and decided to tell her.

"String theory is a developing branch of quantum mechanics and general relativity that postulates the theory that sub-atomic particles are, in reality, tiny bits of energy with vibrating strands that are ultimately one-dimensional strings."

Penny tried to process the information that he provided so glibly. "And, you're trying to prove that?"

Sheldon nodded. "Yes."

"Why?"

He took in a deep breath, his tone bordering on patronising. "String theory holds the potential to explain all matter and forces of nature from sub-atomic particles to galaxies—and it is the leading candidate to frame a Grand Unified Theory that will unify all fundamental forces." When Penny stared at him blankly, he sighed warily and clarified, "When proven, it will describe the workings of our universe—why it is the way it is."

"Wow," Penny awed, genuinely impressed. "Dr Cooper, you truly are a beautiful mind."

Instead of smiling in appreciation, like he normally would, Sheldon grimaced and doubled over in pain.

"Sheldon, are you okay?" Penny's voice was laced with worry.

"Something isn't sitting right," he said, making a face.

"But you normally have Giacomo's pizza on Thursday nights."

"Yes, but I think I've become accustomed to _not_ having Giacomo's pizza on every third Thursday." Sheldon then pushed back his chair and rose to his feet. "I'll be right back."

As Sheldon disappeared into the men's washroom, Penny went back to her meal. A few seconds later her dinner was interrupted by three sharp beeps. Jumping a little in her seat, she reached for her purse to check her phone. It was blank: no messages. She looked across the table and saw Sheldon's iPhone sitting beside his plate—a small, red light was flashing ominously. She considered ignoring it and going back to her meal, but the flashing light only seemed to entice her. With her curiosity getting the best of her, Penny reached across the table and picked up Sheldon's phone.

She knew it was wrong. She shouldn't have been invading his privacy, but she was curious. She wanted to know who was texting him. Part of her told herself that she just wanted to alleviate her fears: to see that it was just one of the boys messaging him or it was an email alert from work. The other part of her wanted to confirm her suspicions that it was Amy. Without further delay, Penny clicked on the phone and confirmed her suspicions. The text was from Amy, and the message was as simple as it was haunting:

_Sheldon, are you sure that Penny is suspicious? We should tell her what is going on. We need to tell her the truth. Text me back. ~Amy_

Penny stared at the phone in stunned silence. What did Sheldon need to tell her and why was Amy in on it? She literally began to shake with rage and betrayal. Clicking off the phone, she put it back down beside Sheldon's plate and began to chew at her nails. She didn't know what to do, what to say, what to think. Was Sheldon cheating on her? She had to confront him about, but she didn't know how.

"I knew there was a reason why we only ordered takeout from Giacomo's: the facilities here are atrocious." Sheldon came up from behind Penny and took his seat across from her, vigorously wiping at his hands with a wet napkin. "I'm beginning to question whether this place should be on our Thursday schedule at all." Shaking his head, he offered Penny an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Penny. I should have scouted the facilities before we came here. I can only hope that the women's washroom is a bit more sanitary."

Penny, who had been ignoring what Sheldon had been saying, worked her lips working together in vain, trying to figure out what to say—what needed to be said.

"So, uhm, how's Amy doing?"

"Health-wise or career-wise?"

"_Health_."

Sheldon glanced up to meet Penny's gaze, noting the harshness in her tone and the hardness in her eyes. "I suppose she's well," he answered, looking somewhat taken aback. "I can't say for certain. You'll have to ask her."

"Well, you've been seeing her a lot lately," Penny stated bitterly, folding her arms across her chest. "You keep in contact with her daily it seems."

Sheldon frowned, setting down his napkin. "I'm not sure what you're trying to imply."

This was it: the straw that broke the camel's back. Sheldon had that caged look to him, as though he would bolt at any moment. She had to confront him now before he fled. She needed to get her answers.

"Sheldon, I read your text message from Amy." She pointed at his phone. "What do you need to tell me the truth about?"

Sheldon looked panicked now, and angry. "Penny, that phone is _my_ property, and the messages on it are personal. You shouldn't be reading them!"

"Information about _me_ is not personal to _you_, Sheldon. It's personal to _me_!" Penny could feel her temper rising. "I want to know what you and Amy were talking about—on the phone, in texts, and on Skype last week. You were both talking about _me_, and I want to know why!"

She had been shouting by the end of it, causing a scene. While patrons observed them, Sheldon looked beyond himself—frightened like a little boy who was ready to break down and cry.

"I don't like being yelled at!" he cried in a sulking voice, pushing back his chair with a loud scrape.

"Sheldon!"

"No!" he said in a panicky voice, turning to flee. "I won't argue. I won't!"

"Sheldon!" Penny rose to her feet to go after him, but Sheldon was already out the door and down the street.

It turned out that Penny was paying for dinner after all.

**-x-**

She had considered going after Sheldon, but Penny knew that confronting him now would only lead to more denial and more running away like a frightened little girl. She needed to clear her head and get advice from someone who knew Sheldon better than she did. Taking out her phone, Penny texted Leonard, telling him that she wished to talk to him at the apartment. After paying the bill, she left the restaurant and sat in her car for a few minutes before driving off.

She decided to take the long way home, thinking about Sheldon's reaction in the restaurant. Sheldon was a horrible liar and, when confronted, he often fled. But what had Penny truly upset was that fact that he was keeping secrets from her and didn't feel comfortable enough to tell her.

Instead of heading straight to the apartment, she stopped off at the grocery store and picked up a small tub of ice cream and a package of plastic forks. Sitting in the parking lot, she dug her flimsy spoon into the quart of ice cream oddly named Death By Chocolate. She stuffed herself until there was no more ice cream left and then cleaned herself up with the baby wipes that Sheldon had left in the car.

At that she had almost started crying again, but she calmed her nerves and took in a deep breath. Getting out of her car, she headed in the apartment building and up the stairs. She had never received a text from Leonard to say that he'd be there, but she assumed—or hoped—that he would be. Deciding to bite the bullet, she headed straight for 4A. She figured that Sheldon was most likely still making his way on foot back to his place or was holed up at Raj's place, hiding.

"Hey, Leonard," Penny began dejectedly, opening the unlocked door to 4A, "I was wondering if I could—"

Her words were cut short by an indelible scene before her: Sheldon's back to her with his head bent and his arms on the shoulder of someone. At the sound of Penny's voice, Sheldon pulled back and stepped to the side to reveal Amy.

"What the _fuck_?"

Sheldon blinked in surprise. "Penny?"

"No, no, no, no, no!" Penny began chanting it like a mantra, shaking her head in disbelief. Her eyes were already brimmed with angry tears. "Sheldon, how could you?"

"Penny?" he repeated her name again, still blinking uncomprehendingly.

"You bastard!"

Penny couldn't even look at either of them—if she did, she might have throttled the both of them where they were standing. Instead, she took in a shuddering breath and turned around, storming out the door. She fumbled for her keys in her purse, taking them out and putting the appropriate key in the lock. Turning it open, she closed the door behind her and flattened her back against the frame.

She considered opening a bottle of wine and getting properly wasted. She also considered falling down onto the floor and crying her eyes out. Instead, she steeled her nerves and walked into her bedroom, gathering various articles from her dresser and shelves. Juggling the armful of clothes and positioning the bundle between her elbow and hips, Penny took out her keys and locked her door, storming back over to Sheldon's apartment.

"Here, you can take all of these back!" she spat, pitching clothes and books at Sheldon, who was still standing dumbfounded in the middle of the living room.

"My shirts!" He then glanced down at the torn pages that littered the floor. "Penny, why do you have my comics?"

"Those aren't yours," she hissed, no longer able to control her anger. "I bought them for you as a thank-you gift for getting me these t-shirts." She pointed at the small-sized Green Lantern t-shirt. "You know, I never expected this from someone like you, Sheldon."

Sheldon shook his head, afraid and confused. "Penny, I don't understand why you are so upset."

"Of course you wouldn't!"

"Penny," Amy began, but Penny cut her off with a wave of her hand.

"No. Don't." She gave Amy a hurtful glare. "I know that I deserve this for kissing him while he was still with you, but I can't hear this right now. I have to go."

"Penny—"

"Go to hell, Sheldon!"

With that, Penny slammed the door and holstered her purse strap over her shoulder. She had to get out of there before she did something even more violent and stupid. She had to get away from all her troubles and cares, which meant that she had to leave California. With a determined nod, she ran down the stairs, wiping her watery eyes with the back of her hand as she went. When she reached the lobby, she all but bowled over Leonard, who had luckily teetered back onto his feet.

"Whoa, where are you off to in such a rush?" he asked with a half-smile, which quickly vanished when he saw Penny's red-rimmed eyes.

"Home," she sniffed, failing to meet his gaze.

"Home?" Leonard asked incredulously, and his eyes suddenly widened. "Are you going back to _Nebraska_?"

Penny nodded and then broke down into fresh tears, sobbing uncontrollably into her hands. Leonard took a few steps forward and awkwardly tried to comfort the emotional blonde, but she just brushed his hands away and stepped past him.

"For how long?"

"Maybe indefinitely." Penny lowered her hands and shrugged. "I dunno. I just need to be alone for a while—a long while."

Leonard shook his head, uncomprehending. "But why? What happened? What's wrong?"

Penny's face instantly morphed from grief to anger. "Ask Sheldon and his new _girlfriend_!"

"His new—" Leonard stopped himself, perplexed by the notion. "_What_?"

"He's back together with Amy," Penny said, wiping the back of her hand along her nose and sniffing pitifully. "They're both up in your apartment kissing right now!" She pointed up the stairs, and Leonard absently followed her finger.

"Sheldon was _kissing_ Amy?" His brow knitted in confusion. "Are you positive?"

Penny bit the inside of her cheek, trying desperately not to cry again, and nodded in affirmation.

"What's worse is that he went behind my back. He's been talking to Amy about me: they've been having late night conversation on the phone and on Skype." She hiccupped back a sob. "Apparently I'm not good enough for him."

Leonard's frowned, trying to process all the information. He then raised his hands defensively, trying to placate Penny with soothing words.

"You don't know that for sure," he said softly, bringing his hand to her shoulder. "What were they talking about?"

"I dunno, but whenever I would come into the room when he was on the phone with her, he would hang up or make excuses." She wiped at her eyes. "Tonight, he got a text from Amy, and I read it while he was in the washroom. Amy said that he had to tell me about them." She broke down crying again and then lifted her chin in the air. "He's just been acting so secretively lately, and the only time one of my boyfriends ever acted like that was because he was having an affair!"

Leonard opened his mouth to protest, but Penny cut him off.

"He's been lying to me, Leonard! He has all these notes with some kind of mathematical formula on them and Amy's name is written _all_ over the pages." She brought her hands to her hair and began tearing at it. "He's been blowing off dates with me to be with _her_. Isn't it obvious?"

Leonard made no motion to agree or disagree. He was simply confused by what Penny was saying. Sheldon wasn't the type to lie. And if he was lying to Penny, what exactly was he lying about?

"I promised myself that I would never be cheated on again," Penny stated with a tremor in her voice, her chin wobbling. "That I would never take a cheater back, and I won't. And, even if all they did was kiss, I ..." She paused, trying to steady her voice. "Sheldon has finally realised that I'm not good enough for him, and I can't be with someone who thinks so little of me."

Leonard shook his head, disagreeing. "Penny, no—"

"Goodbye, Leonard," she said, leaning down to give him a wet kiss on the cheek. "I will contact you when I'm ready."

Giving him a sad smile, Penny turned around and headed out the door, grabbing her car keys out of her purse on the way. Leonard watched her for a moment, still shell-shocked by what had just occurred, before he chased after her.

"Penny, wait!"

But by the time Leonard's feet had finally caught up with his brain, it was too late. Penny was already gone and out of sight. Heading back inside the building, Leonard immediately stormed up the stairs. He was intent on getting some answers out of Sheldon. When he opened the door, he was shocked by the state of the living room: it was littered with shredded comic books and clothing. Standing in the midst of the pile was a baffled-looking Sheldon and Amy.

"Sheldon, what in the hell did you do?" Leonard accused, slamming the door shut behind him.

"You'll have to be more specific," Sheldon said pedantically, although the usual arrogant tone was removed.

Leonard let out a frustrated sigh. "What did you do to _Penny_?"

"Nothing."

"_Nothing_?" Leonard repeated with obvious incredulity, pointing to the pile of clothing and comic books on the floor. "Then why did she just storm out of the apartment saying that she was moving back to Nebraska?"

Sheldon's look of bafflement quickly morphed into a look of sheer panic. "_Nebraska_?" He stepped out of the pile of clothing to pace. "I-I don't know. She came into the apartment while Amy and I were talking, shouted a few expletives me, stormed out, returned and threw my shirts at me, screamed some more, and then left."

"Don't forget that she dumped you, too," Amy added, who had taken a seat in the chair.

Sheldon shot her a scathing look before returning his attention to Leonard.

Leonard, who was still thoroughly confused and upset, shook his head and pointed to Amy while looking at Sheldon. "What were you doing with Amy in the apartment?"

"Talking."

"_Talking_?" Leonard repeated. "Penny said that she saw you two _kissing_."

"Kissing?" Sheldon blinked and then looked over at Amy, who was looking just as nonplussed as he was. "That's ridiculous. I was just checking out the temporary crown that Amy had done earlier today."

Amy nodded. "That is correct. My regular dentist was sick, and I was given a replacement. After the fact, I asked Sheldon to inspect it—to see if the substitute dentist had done an adequate job."

"It wasn't as shoddy as I had expected," Sheldon added lightly, folding his arms, "considering that he's a British dentist."

"I know," Amy agreed, adjusting her glasses. "I was just as surprised."

Frustrated, Leonard immediately took a step towards the duo and began frantically waving his hands in front of his face.

"Wait. Hold on a sec." He glanced at Amy, raising his hands in supplication. "Amy, why are you here?"

"I'm waiting for my date," she answered simply, causing Leonard to furrow his brow in further confusion.

"Date?"

"Yes."

Leonard knitted his brow and hesitantly pointed at Sheldon. "Is Sheldon's your date?"

"No, Zack is."

"Zack?"

"Yes."

"_Zack_?"

Amy regarded Leonard for a second before turning to Sheldon. "Is he stuck in an infinite loop?"

Sheldon gave a slight shake of his head and took a step towards Leonard. "He's just slow," he explained in an almost placating manner before turning to regard his shorter friend. "Leonard, Amy is here to see Zack since she's not sure that he can follow simple directions to her house. Plus, I asked her to come over here to discuss Penny."

Leonard began to process Sheldon's explanation, his initial anger slowly ebbing away; however, the bafflement remained.

"Okay, so you weren't kissing Amy," he said, sussing out the communication error, "but Penny thought you were. Then she assumed that you two were planning on getting back together."

Sheldon looked taken aback. "Why would she come to such a conclusion?"

"She overheard your Skype conversations about her and read some equation that you wrote in your notepad about Amy or something like that."

"Equation?" Sheldon scoffed, although his voice was laced with anxiety. "If it had been a real equation, I would have written it on my whiteboard. That—" he walked over to his desk and picked up the notepad, holding it close to his chest "—was just doodling."

"Doodling, whatever," Leonard said, slapping his hands alongside his hips. "What were you writing about and what were you talking about on Skype? Obviously, she got her assumptions off that."

"It's just like you, Leonard, to subscribe to the _cum hoc_ fallacy while Penny follows _post hoc_."

Leonard pinched the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb, staving off an impending migraine. "Sheldon, just explain to me why were you and Amy were talking about Penny."

"I can answer the question," Amy announced, slicing through the tension. "Sheldon has been calling me in regards to Penny's career crisis. She has been feeling stagnant and unfulfilled in her current area of employment and is feeling dejected by her constant rejection in the field of performing arts. Sheldon was asking me for advice on what to do for Penny."

Shell-shocked, Leonard numbly took a seat at his desk. "You were both looking to help her?"

Sheldon nodded. "Of course. Penny has pointed out to me several times these past few weeks that I am not a supportive boyfriend, so I wished to remedy that."

Leonard took in a deep breath, somewhat startled by Sheldon's personal growth.

"Since Penny has failed miserably in her aspirations to become an actress, and stubbornly refuses to pursue any other field, I figured that I would try to help her achieve her goal, like her business endeavour with the Penny Blossoms." Sheldon's lips twisted into a frown. "Unfortunately, the performing arts is not something I'm exactly skilled at or have the appropriate networking skills for, so I asked Amy Farrah Fowler for her assistance."

"Assistance?"

Amy raised her hand and then lowered it. "Yes, my godfather is the director of a popular early morning children's show filmed in Los Angeles. I've been in contact with him for the past week, enquiring as to whether or not he'd be willing to hire Penny. After citing all her acting qualities, appearance, and bubbly personality, he said that she would be perfect as host for a new show that they will be launching in fall."

"Really?"

Sheldon smiled brightly. "Yes, and in the meanwhile, Amy's godfather permitted that she could come in for an informal audition, and they would try to find her another position until she started the new show in the fall."

"Plus, it would be a nice start for her—to break her into show business," Amy added knowingly.

Leonard couldn't help but smile foolishly, in both happiness and astonishment. "Sheldon, Amy ..." He paused, at a loss for words. "This is fantastic news. Penny would do great as a TV host."

"A television host for a _children's_ show," Sheldon clarified.

"Right," Leonard agreed absently, and then stood on his feet. "But Penny doesn't know any of this. She thought you two were having an affair, and now she's gone." He glanced up. "Sheldon, you have to call her."

Galvanised into action, Sheldon took his phone out of his front pocket and searched for Penny's number, hitting SEND. A few seconds later, a muffled ringing sound could be heard from inside the room, coming from the pile of shirts in the middle of the floor. Amy immediately stood from the chair and went over to the pile of clothing, fishing through it in order to locate what was making the ringing noise. Her hand came up, holding onto Penny's Blackberry.

"She left her phone here," Amy stated blithely, waving the cellphone in the air.

"That was one of the things that she threw at me," Sheldon said, pointing at the phone with his iPhone before clicking it off.

All three stared at the cellphone for a moment before Leonard paced over to where Amy sat and took the phone from her. "She'll come back for it," he said, as though trying to convince himself.

"Yeah, she'll come back ..." Sheldon agreed slowly.

Suddenly, there was a loud knock at the door, and all three jumped. Leonard rushed to the door and swung it open.

"Penny!"

Zack stood in front of the door and swung his head back in tandem, looking to see if Penny was behind him. When he saw no one, he turned back around and strode inside Leonard and Sheldon's apartment.

"Hey, dudes. What's up?"

"Hey, Zack," Leonard said, looking disappointed as he closed the door behind the tall brunet.

"Hello," Sheldon greeted, sounding equally disappointed.

"Hello, date," Amy greeted with a big smile, walking over to Zack.

"Why do you guys look so bummed?" Zack asked, looking back and forth from Leonard to Sheldon.

"Penny just dumped Sheldon and has decided to return to Nebraska," Leonard answered forlornly, going back over to his chair at his desk.

"I thought Penny already dumped you," Zack said to Leonard, sliding his hands into his pockets.

"Yeah, she did," Leonard admitted blandly, and then pointed to Sheldon. "But she was dating Sheldon until just recently."

"Sorry, my bad," Zack said, offering Sheldon his apologies. "I didn't even know that you liked girls." He sniffed and then laughed to himself, looking totally clueless. "Penny's awesome, though. She's a real keeper. You lucked out, buddy."

"She _dumped_ me," Sheldon said bitterly, looking thoroughly irritated with Zack as he reiterated what Leonard had just informed the idiot not some twenty seconds earlier.

"Well, that sucks." Zack turned to look at Amy, smiling. "You ready to go?"

Amy nodded. "I thought we could have dinner at my place and skip the formalities of a date and go right to coitus."

"Cool," Zack said with a smile. "I've never just had dessert for a meal." He looked at Amy askance. "Is coitus like a chocolate cake or something?"

Amy just smiled thinly and ushered Zack out of the apartment. "No need for Gerald tonight," she said absently as she closed the door behind them.

"You live with some dude named Gerald?"

As soon as the door closed shut, Leonard turned to look at Sheldon. "I can't believe I'm about to say this, but—" he took in a deep breath and levelled his gaze "—if Penny doesn't come back, you're going to have to go after her and bring her home."

Sheldon walked over to where Leonard stood and took the phone from him. "Blackberries are annoying for their passwords and limited access. Perhaps I could just look up her family name in Omaha, Nebraska on 411 dot com." He glanced up from the phone to look at Leonard. "What's her surname?"

"I ..." Leonard paused, thinking, and then let out a confused grunt. "Huh. You know what? I don't remember. I'm not even sure if she ever told me." He shared a look with Sheldon before smacking his hand against his forehead. "Oh my God! We don't know Penny's last name. We're screwed!"

Suddenly, a light seemed to go off in Leonard's head, and he pointed his index finger in the air.

"Wait, her father's name is Wyatt."

"Wyatt?" Sheldon asked sceptically. "Well, that certainly helps. It shouldn't be too hard to find a Wyatt with no last name in Omaha."

"You think?"

"Of course not! Don't be stupid!" Sheldon spat, shaking his head condescendingly. "Lord, why doesn't Penny have a last name?"

"She does," Leonard defended, "and I'm sure she told us at one point. We just ... forgot."

"I have an eidetic memory, Leonard," Sheldon stated patronisingly. "I don't forget." He looked down at the locked phone and threw it onto Leonard's desk with a frustrated sigh. "Honestly, who doesn't have a last name? It's like she's some cocktail waitress from the 'Eighties."

Leonard jumped in his seat, pointing his finger in the air again, and swivelled around on his chair. "We can email her."

"Yes, let's do that."

Leonard opened his laptop and began to type. Midway through a sentence, he stopped.

"But there's no guarantee that they even have the Internet at her parents' farm. Plus, even if they did, she could just easily delete all your emails and mine. Same goes for phone messages if we were ever to get a hold of her."

"Hmm, I see your point."

Leonard glanced up at his hovering roommate. "She's determined to ignore you, Sheldon. What are you going to do?"

Sheldon put a finger to his mouth and contemplated this notion for a moment. What was he going to do? Taking in a deep breath, he placed his hands on his hips and puffed out his chest, holding his head high.

"As the reluctant hero, I have only one option."

"You mean—"

Sheldon nodded. "I am going to have to travel to Nebraska and find Penny. I am going to have to bring her home."

"Good Lord." Leonard palmed his face. "Nebraska is doomed ..."

**End of Part Two**

**-x-**

* * *

**Author notes:** Cliffhanger, you cry? Evil, you say? Well, relationships are never easy—especially a romantic one between Penny and Sheldon. You may or may not be pleased to know that while most of this fic is from Penny's PoV, there will be some scenes that just feature Sheldon and the guys. In the meanwhile, stay tuned for Part Three, which takes place in Nebraska. Road trip, anyone?

* * *

**Sheldon's (Love?) Equations**

**A = – ΔG** is based on the "Thermodynamics of Chemical Processes" by Herman Helmholtz (Sheldon referenced this in chapter 6). Helmholtz showed that the measure of affinity (A) in a reaction system is equal to the negative of the free energy change (ΔG) for the process of reactants going to products (love between two people). This is also known as the Free Energy Equation (1882).

**A = (∂G / ∂ξ) P,T **is the expansion of Helmholtz equation, to prove unequivocally that the measure of affinity of a reaction is that of free energy, as are human chemical reactions. Where the affinity of the reaction is equal to the negative of the partial of the Gibbs free energy (∂G) with respect to a change in the partial of the extent of the reaction (∂ξ), for a process at constant pressure (P) and temperature (T).

**P(L|A) **║ **Sh + Pe = L** ↔ **A + ∂G = L** is the probability that of event L (love) will occur given that event A (affinity/chemistry) occurs first. This is parallel to Sheldon (Sh) and Penny (Pe) equalling affinity if affinity plus free energy (∂G) equals love (L).

**Pe(H) ≡ AC** means that a happy (H) Penny is defined by a successful acting career (AC) or acceptable career.

**Pe(H) = Sh(H)** means that a happy Penny makes for an equally happy Sheldon (_Aww!_).


End file.
